Peace

Peace

          “Come on Jane! We must get to the Andeson shelter!” I couldn’t think. The alarms were too loud, screeching through the echoed house. Some of my siblings were scattered on the dusty wooden floor of our dank, empty living room. My older brothers were trying to gather them up while Mummy was trying to get me. I wouldn't budge. They didn’t want to go there either, they were sacred. I wasn’t scared, I was brave for three. I just didn’t want to wait in the stinky place. I’ll just wait here. I’ll be okay. Daddy said in his letters nothing bad would happen to us. He would protect us he said. So I held on tight to the corner of the wall that was connected to the hallway as mommy tried to tug me away. “Come on baby we’ve got to go! The shelter will protect you!” I squeezed my eyes closed.

          “I don’t want to go to the shelter again. It’s dark down there and smells like poo from Tommy’s bum, I want to stay here.”

          “Darling come on, we won’t be down there long, just until the bombs are gone again.” I couldn’t understand why Mummy said that because we were always down there for days. Maybe because she’s so old and days isn’t that long. “Sweet Janey don’t cry. It’s going to be okay but we’ve got to get to the shelter.” I’m not crying. I’m brave.

          Tommy ran up, “Mum everyone’s in the shelter are you coming?”

          “It’s your sister she won’t come, help me get her.” No! I hugged the wall tighter.

          “Mummy no!” I yelled. “I don’t want to go!” My stinky brother tugged me away from the wall and tossed me over his shoulders carrying me outside. I kicked and screamed but it was no use. We approached the Andeson shelter, just 20 meters away. But a big rumbling came from a distance and I stopped my fit just a moment to look up and my heart stopped. Mummy screamed, Tommy ran faster. My mind went numb as big black rolling clouds of German planes came over our heads and dropped the dreadful, deadly bombs. Just as he raced in and mommy bolted the door, the ground shook, the walls rattled, the explosions destroyed the east end and my world was once again engulfed with dank, horrible darkness.

          The bombs went on for days. I stayed on Mummy’s lap. I kept my blanket tight around me and ate what I was given. I pottied in the bucket and always covered it back up. I sat and waited for my only savior. The alarms sounding it was safe. I just sat and waited. I was brave. Maisey started crying again and Mummy slid me off her lap to go comfort her. I had told Maisey crying wouldn’t help but she was nine and wouldn’t listen to a three year old she said. Mummy wasn’t going to be coming back anytime soon so I crawled over to the the crack in the corrugated iron and tried to peek outside but the air was too thick with muck to see beyond a few feet. I hope our house wasn’t destroyed, I quite liked it. It was pretty big and had an extra bedroom that Mummy rented out to singles, but we were in between renters now so my sisters and I got to have it to ourselves. I wasn’t very close to them because they thought I was too babyish for them, but it’s nice not to be around the boys. But they kept to themselves mostly, said keeping away from girls is how they stayed man enough for Daddy when he comes back. They missed Daddy they said. I don’t remember him. He left shortly after I was born Mummy told me, to go fight the war. The only things I know of him are from his letters which seem to be the highlight of the week for everyone. Mummy would find the letter in the mailbox and run in calling, Children! Children! Daddy has written! Then she’d sit in her old rocking chair with me on her lap and everyone would crowd around to hear what he says. He normally said he wished he was here, and that he missed us and Mommy. I wasn’t so sure about this… if he wanted to be here than why wasn’t he? Surely if he loves us so much he wouldn’t be fighting the war he would be helping us, and keeping Mummy happy. I could tell she wasn’t. She would read the letter with a bright smile of course but when everyone else left I would see her cry tears as she slipped the letters into her apron pocket along with a few others she kept with her always. Just in case of emergency she said. Mommy always says a lot of things. Sometimes I don’t understand. I looked back at Mummy and Maisey, Maisey was now fast asleep with her head in Mummy's lap, my spot. Mummy looked up and mouthed sorry to me. I understand, I always do. I yawned and stretched, laying my head down on a spare pillow, but as soon as I fell asleep the alarms went off. Everyone leapt up with glee, just as I. This was a moment my siblings and I were all happy together. When we could leave the shelter and go outside and run and play together. Brandon would lift me into the air and swing me and I would laugh. My sisters would play Ring around the Rosy and the boys would roll around in the grass. And Mummy would smile. Smile big.

          Mummy unbolted the door and my siblings raced out in front of me but when I went out behind them I ran right into their halted bodies. My sisters were sniffling and crying and the boys heads were hung low. I pushed through them to see what was wrong. And when I did I started crying too. We were going to have to leave again. The wooden frame was falling apart. The roof was smooshed. Why would someone want to break my house? I looked back at Mum and she was quickly wiping tears away, putting on her brave face as always. She gathered us up.

           “Come children, we must get to the community center." We gathered up our belongings from the shelter, the house was too damaged to safely enter, and we set out for the neighborhood community center. As we walked down the streets we took in the sad ruins of the destroyed homes. Families like ours were doing the same as us, and making way to the large building. There were ashes and soot everywhere, the air was dirty. I coughed and it made me thirsty. I asked Mummy for water but she said I would have to wait. Up ahead in the street was the center. We were not far as we crossed the block road, I looked down at the ground, and saw something white, maybe it was a toy that I could give to Maisey to stop her crying. But just as soon as I pulled it out of the rubble did I drop it and recoil in grossness. It was an animal skull, a dog probably. I turned weeping into Mummy’s leg and she patted my shoulder. "Don’t worry darling," she cooed, "peace will soon come." I don’t understand her when she says stuff like this. Peace has never come, this is all I’ve ever seen. What is peace? I don’t know if I believe in it.

          We approached the community center and gathered with the other families. There were maybe hundreds, clearing space to lie blankets, and few belongings with just enough room to hold their families. Mum found a spot for us and we sat together waiting for word of a new place to go. It seemed like days, but only hours. Everyone was mostly settled. I was playing with my rabbit. Maisey was annoyingly whimpering. Life will go on I tried to tell her, go away she whimpered back. So I had reclaimed my spot on Mommy’s lap. The only spot that I’d always had.

          A few more hours passed by and there was a commotion at the door. What sounded like big boots and deep voices entered the building. As they rounded the corner, we saw grimy soldiers enter, but not the bad ones.

          "It’s the Americans,” whispered my brother Dale. The Americans? I’d heard about them but never really seen one. Heard they were nice. I squeezed Mummy’s hand as they started approaching families. They had bags each of them, going around and pouring what looked like brown powder into the cups we were given and then instructing them with things I couldn’t hear. Soon enough one approached us. He had a kind face, and a light smile. He looked like a negro at first but it was just dirt on his face.

          “Come darling, hold out your cup.” I felt my cheeks getting red but did what I was told. He poured the powder in, and did the same with my brothers and sisters and even my Mummy. “Now just fill it with water, and enjoy." And he walked away onto the next family. Mum led us over to the faucet. We poured it in and all together we drank it. It tasted sweet. It was a familiar but distant taste. I couldn't figure it out.

          “Chocolate!” Tommy exclaimed. “It's liquid chocolate!” Right! We hadn't had chocolate in a year! I sipped it happily and looked around at my neighbors all momentarily filled with joy at the small act of kindness that these allies showed us. It gave me hope that maybe this peace that everyone keeps saying will come, might actually come one day.