Hello
Sorry I couldn't help but notice
The way you're just standing there
For all the world like you don't have a care
I don't know your name, you don't know mine
But I'm having a really hard time
Could you spare a minute?
I'd appreciate it.
My tired heart aches to dance
My mind and soul on the beat
I need someone who can hold me close
And keep up with my feet
As we spin around
To that song that only we can hear
So please
Won't you dance with me?
Hello
Sorry, but I can't help myself
You danced with me in an airport long ago
For all the world like you really meant it
I still don't know your name, you still don't know mine
But that's okay.
I know that it's raining outside
But you should know I'm having a hard time
Could you spare a minute?
I'd appreciate it.
My mind drifts to foxtrot sand waltzes
My hearts in time with the beat
I need someone who can hold me close
And sweep me off my feet
As we spin around
To that song that only we can hear
So please
Won't you dance with me?
Hello
Sorry but I need to know if you remember me?
It seems like we've danced a million times
For all the world like you loved me
I know your name, it's always in my mind
So what do you say?
I'll buy a white dress and do my hair
And we can let go of all of our cares together
Could you spare my heart?
I'd appreciate it.
My heart is yours and it aches to dance
My mind and soul on the beat
So hold me close and don't let go
Until we sway on our feet
As we spin around
To that song so that the world can see
Baby
What you mean to me
Won't you dance with me?
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hello my friend!!! I loved this poem! No... I LOVED this poem! It's so romantic and sooo sweet! I absolutely love romance! Haha! I really enjoyed this outstanding piece of poetry! I don't know what pessimistic thing I could say! It was perfection! Grammatically, it was perfect and the rhythm and rhyme was immaculate as well! Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future!
Welcome to YWS! I read this and like most poems, it could be sung. Well since this a review, let's continue with the review!
1. Punctuation- personally I don't think you need end marks in a poem but others think differently. It's your choice there so no deduction on your end grade
2. Capitalization- this is ok. Nothing is short when it should be big
3. Grammar- nothing is grammatically incorrect to me. Someone else may find something but I saw nothing.
First off, welcome to YWS! After reading your poem, I thought this would make a great song. Many of the verses repeat themselves and their is a clear progression of the narrator's thoughts and feelings. I loved the tone of the poem and how optimistic it was. My only nitpicky comment is that the "you" in line five should read "your." I'm not sure if their was an attempt at a rhyme scheme in the beginning. My general feelings about that is if you are going to have one it should be consistent throughout and not forced. Some of the best poems have no rhyme scheme at all, and yet, their are many jewels of poems with beautiful writing (e.e. cummings!). Overall, this was great. Keep up the good work, and write on!
Oh yeah. The you was a typo:) no worries
wow what a great poem thank you for making my day this a really lovely poem and has helped brighten up what otherwise has been a bleek day for me , Great rhyme scheme