z

Young Writers Society


16+ Violence

The Hunger Games: Flames Burn Brighter in the Dark

by CateRose17


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. All ideas and characters, besides Lily and James Gayle to the Author. 

James' P.o.V

I stand at the door, looking out among the dirt road with small two and three room house lining it in the morning warmth of the sun. Small toddlers run along the gulleys in torn shirts and holey dresses with hair matted or pulled up in a braid. They are happy. They are oblivious.

I look at the mothers on front porches talking and gossiping. Their faces filled with worry and terror as they watch their twelve and thirteen year olds solemnly go outside as children for the last time. I see misty eyed eighteen year olds in their bedroom windows, praying to God in thanks for getting them through the eighteen years of hell. They are veterans. They are relieved.

I close the door and walk to Lily's room. She is probably still sleeping, it was a long night for her last night. She is strong, but she is not immune to nightmares. She is older than me, by a year. She is seventeen while I am sixteen. I go into her room and see a bump in the covers and smile. She is curled up in the matress like a baby would be in a crib. To me, it's adorable.

"Lily." I whisper, rubbing her shoulder. I hear a moan come from under the threadbare blanket, the best I could get in the Seam at this time of year. I see a hint of gold from underneath the pillow as I feel her turn. Her features and mine are totally different, though we are siblings. She's fair skinned with blonde hair that catches the small of her back when she walks, eyes that would put the bluest ocean to shame. She is small, willowy and eloquent when she moves. Almost like a character from a novel. I am darker, skin stained from soot and dirt, my hair as black as the coal I've mined in the last two years. My eyes dull as mud, my trained arms bulging with a definition of muscle and labor, stocky and short. I say her name a bit louder this time.

"Hm?" She moans, opening her eyes and looking at me. Her face puffy with sleep.

"We need to get going. It's time to check the traps." I tell her and she sits up, stretching her long arms. I stand as she throws the blanket off of her body. She is still in her jeans and army green shirt from yesterday,her muddy boots thrown to the side of the window. I leave as she slips them on and follows me. I grab her bow and toss it to her.

"We are going hunting too, James?"

" Yeah, Mom said we're almost out of meat." I reply. She puts her quiver and bow over her back and goes into the kitchen. It's small and narrow with a rusted faucet over a pristine sink. Two windows, a back door and a square splintered table that seats four, but only has three that sit around it at dinner time. I tie my laces of my boots as Lily kisses Mom on the cheek. Mom looks like me, dark hair, short with flecks of gray and vibrant hazel eyes that still were able to dance when she saw us.

"Be careful, you two." She says, drying her hands on the red and white dishrag. She turns to us and hands Lily a canteen.

" We will, Mom. We always are." Lily answers, and kisses her cheek. I follow suit after I grab my axe and knife from the cupboard. We head out off the back door and I walk to the fence. She leans down and kisses the nose of the spotted mutt that shows up at our house randomly, Lily has taken a liking to it and calls it Murry. I chuckle as the Dog licks her nose and she laughs, but I can hear that it isn't fully a light laugh. She pats its head and jumps over a torn down part of the fence. She hates using the gate. I shut the gate and point us towards Pam Heaterlee's Shop. We don't say anything, there's nothing to talk about, nothing to anticipate, but I still manage a smile when a little ten year old curly headed girl waves at me from behind her mother. Lily stares at the ground, kicking up the dust with her boots. I know what is running through her mind, it's running through mine and I'm sure it's going through everyone's mind between the ages twelve and eighteen.

It was Reaping Day.

We enter the weathered building and I lose Lily to the books. She always liked the blasted things. I have no clue why.

"Good morning, James!" Says a cheery voice that belongs to Pam. She's older than Mom, her black hair peppered with white, her blue eyes dancing as she greets me.

"Good morning, Pam." I answer with a smile, placing my axe on the counter.

"What can I do for you today?" She asks, folding her hands next to my axe. I point to the metal weapon.

"My axe head is coming loose again. You got anything to fix it?"

She shakes her head with an exasperated sigh," I'm sorry, James. Peace keepers came around two hours ago and took the last of the thick rawhide."

I lean against the barrier," Why?"

Pam turns and looks around, I lay my eyes on Lily. She's looking at a book, but I catch her eye and nod. The older woman lowers her voice.

"About a month ago there was an uprising in district eight. Ever since, they've been enforcing the 'no weapons' rule even harder."

I feel a coldness sweep over me," How many people?"

"Around fifty." She replies, her voice sad. I felt bad for Pam. District Eight was her home before she married Jack around thirty years ago. She probably knew some of the people that died.

"But I don't understand why they took the rawhide." I say, knotting my eyebrows in confusion. I feel Lily brush against me.

"Because it could be used as a weapon of strangulation." She says, nodding in greeting to Pam. I sigh. Lily places some wire on the counter. "This may do. How much, Pam?" She asks. Pam shakes her head with a smile.

" No need for payment. You just take it, I was about to throw it away."

" Thanks, Pam." I tell her and turn to Lily, but she's already out the door.

"I'm going to Jon's." She says and is gone. I shake my head and sit on a barrel in the darkest corner. I wrap the wire around the thick, sharp metal and the handle made from wood and bone. Primitive, yes, but when it comes to throwing at large prey, it does the job rather well. 

****

Lily's P.o.V

My hair hangs loose against my arrows as I walk towards the Butcher/Bakery shop where Jon worked. I like Jon. He's kind, tall, red hair that crept down his neck. His eyes the most vibrant and troublesome green. He is like family to us- especially after Dad died. The bell above the door announces my presence.

"Jon? " I call.

" In the back!"

I walk against the tile floor and open the half door, walking in and seeing the tall, lanky 30 year old chopping away at a piece of meat with precision.

"Hey, Lily." He says over the sound of the knife hitting flesh. I wave at him and lean against the wall nonchalantly. "What you need?"

" You have the bread mom ordered last week?" I ask. He points to bread counter where a golden brown loaf wrapped in plastic sits waiting. I grab it and push it under my arm.

"Are you ready for the Reaping?" He asks and I sigh.

"The Capitol would like for me to say yes, but I'm not."

"Why not?" He swings the knife and hits it against the wood, making a clattering noise. I jump.

" Sorry." He chuckles. I shrug.

"It's my last year. I've had a lucky streak, I can't let that end now."

" You're seventeen then."

" I am." I answer, shifting my weight from my right foot onto my left.

"What about James, is he ready?"

"I can't say for him. I just know he's happy not to be working in the mines today. I only hope that he can evade Effie Trinket's hands one more time." I say, hearing my own voice lower and taste putrid when I say that pale woman's name. I spit in the garbage.

"Oh. Well, I heard that the Capitol is doing something special this year." He says, washing his hands and taking off his leather apron.

" Special?" I ask," What sort of special?"

He shrugged. " Maybe like last year."

I shudder, I remember that Cousin Nathenial was reaped last year. He didn't come back home.

"I don't know any details. I just heard Old Catsy telling some passerby from Five about it in the Hob." He tells me. When Jon sees the panic that I feel, his face softens considerably," Hey, don't worry. I'm sure you and James will be fine."

I smile best I can as I hear James' footsteps outside on the sidewalk. I tell him goodbye and walk to the front door, but he stops me.

" Tell James I said hey. Good luck today, Sweetie." He tells me with a wink. I wave and jump down the stairs. James grabs me by the arm.

"What took you so long?" He asks, keeping his voice low.

" I was talking to Jon." I say, handing him the bread to put in the food sack.

"About?"

For someone younger than me, he sure likes to know everything. I roll my eyes as we start to walk towards the fence.

" I'll tell you past the fence." I tell him and we weave our way through the Seam. The men started heading towards the mines. Their hands hardened, soot blakened, swollen and bruised. Their eyes hiding hardships. At least Dad doesn't have to deal with that any longer. I think. The large wire fence looms above us, I was afraid of this fence. It usually surged with 1,000 powerful volts of electricity. Well, that's what I've been told. I pour a drop of water on my hand and throw it on the fence.

"Dead." I say and climb over the fence, jumping over the other side. James slides through an opening closer to the ground. He stands up beside me.

"Now, what was he talking about?" James asks, referring to the conversation I had with Jon. I pass a tree.

"He said that the Capitol is doing something special this year."

"They've been doing something special for the past five years." He says," They should have run out of things by now!" James bends down and checks his traps and pulls out five gray and brown rabbits.

"James, it's the Capitol. They never run out of ideas. If they did, we wouldn't be having the twenty fifth Hunger Games." I tell him, watching our backs. My hands itching to shoot something. He agrees with a grunt, resets the traps and moves on deeper into the oaks and pines. I look up into the peachy sky. Why was everything prettier outside the fence? We jogged through the trails we had created throughout the years and jumped over the streams. I am caught off gaurd when James drags me to the ground and I land harshly on the gravel underneath me. I look to him for an answer and he places his finger to his lips and points with his head towards a bolder about fifty yards away from our hiding spot. I lift my eyes and they grow wide with wonder as they lay themselves on the most beautiful animal I have ever seen. It is a golden skinned Deer that stands majesticly with antlers that span a splendid length. My mouth waters as I think of how many meals that would feed us. It lowers its head to take a drink of water. I feel breath against my ear.

"Shoot for its head. We need all the meat we can get right now." James whispers in my ear. I nod and he counts down from three. I jump up, fingers mixed in with my arrow and string. I aim just as the buck picks its head up and loose the arrow with a breath of prayer. A startled jump, high pitched moan and the king of the forest went down. I jump on the balls of my feet as James claps me on the shoulder.

"Great shot, Sis!"

I run with James to the fallen buck, admiring my shot and the rippling muscles that can be clearly seen from underneath the Buck's fatty skin.

snap.

James and I both turn and I am hit with a gray blur. I scream as my back hits the ground with a thud. Everything becomes darkened around the edges of my eyes and I hear something. 

James' P.o.V.

I see my sister fall as a mangy and skinny wolf rush past her and towards our kill. I jump in front of it, facing the intruder. It snarls and circles me, it's no match for me, but still facing something like this scares me. I turn the handle of my knife in my hand and I lunge, swinging my hand underneath its soft underbelly. It yelps and jumps back. I growl and jump on its back and it shakes me. Once I fall, it pounces on me an snaps at my face. I take my knife and thrust it into its soft neck. It tenses and falls limp onto my chest. The blood gushing onto my shirt and my face. I gag. Blood is a foul tasting substance. I hear Lily's footsteps and hurried breaths as I throw the animal off of me. She helps me up, her face as white as paper.

" I need to get you home!" She cries, her voice hoarse with fear. Her hands holding tightly to my arms. I push her away gently.

"It's not mine, Sis. You can calm down." I assure her, wiping the blood off my lips. She visibly turns back to her normal color and lets her shoulders slump.

"Are you okay?" I ask, noticing several scrapes on her temple and collar bone but nothing serious. She shakes her head.

"Yeah."

I turn towards the mangy wolf and my foot connects repeatedly its head. I allow my anger to rage through me along with fear," Stupid...Damn...Dog!" I yell, a dull thudding whenever my boot hits the skull. I feel a hand on my arm and I twirl around to face a pale Lily.

"James, that's enough!" She cries. She was always a softie when it came to animals, even dead ones and ones that have tried to kill her.

" Good. We really need to go now. I don't know who heard you scream and I really don't want to find out if anyone did." I say quietly and swing the deer over my back. Lily grabs my ax and her bow and quiver and sprints with me back towards 12. The sun bears down on us. That means it was near noon, we had to hurry. My lungs burn as I crawl under the fence and pull Lily and the deer along back into the safety of the fence. I mouth the word 'stay' and take the deer carcass down to Jon's little hiding place for our hunts, along with the rabbits. I trot back, stripping my shirt from me and balling it in my fists. I see Lily sitting on the bank still shaking considerably. I place a hand on her shoulder and bring her to the water. " Quick! Hide your weapons!" I hiss and throw my ax into some nearby bushes. She throws her quiver and bow into some brush and covers it in pine needles. I cup water in my hands and splash her with it and she looks at me knee deep in the creek. She keeps her head turned as we both hear heavy footsteps come our way. She yelps as the cool water hits her sweaty and flushed face.

"What in the Name of Snow is going on here!?" Bellows a peacekeeper as he stops by the banks. We stand there and I lift my eyebrows up in surprise.


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13 Reviews


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Sun Mar 26, 2017 2:02 pm
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Chaska wrote a review...



YO!
WHatcha think you're doing ending it like that! What happens next you mean mean person xD
Okay imma run through a couple quick nitpicks first and then we can get down to ma signature ramble. So...

She is probably still sleeping, it was a long night for her last night. She is strong, but she is not immune to nightmares. She is older than me, by a year. She is seventeen while I am sixteen. I go into her room and see a bump in the covers and smile. She is curled up in the matress like a baby would be in a crib.

Maybe here perhaps just change up the sentence starters a little, there are quite a few that start with 'she is'.

skinny wolf rush past her

Rushes?

Oh ma giddy aunt! How do you even?! For starters I love them both already, Lily and James that is! They're both so lovely! I also love how you bounce between them both for perspectives so you can see what the other thinks and how they have such a great bond is great! I also loveeeee how you have different scenes and settings in this one part, so you get to see so many different aspects of the district- the butcher/bakers (potential ship with Jon?), the shop with Pam, and the action bit outside the fence was great!
I love it all!
Go remedy that cliffhanger by hurrying up with the next part! I wanna read it allllllll!
I love.




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Sun Mar 26, 2017 1:03 pm
erilea wrote a review...



Hey, CateRose! Lupa dropping by for a Review Day review! :D Let's start...

1) "She is older than me, by a year. She is seventeen while I am sixteen." When you put the "She is seventeen, I'm sixteen" part directly after "She is older by a year" part, it makes the second sentence seem to have a little extra information. Mentioning only one person's age, or not mentioning them at all and incorporating them later in the chapter, will work better here.

2) "No need for payment. You just take it, I was about to throw it away." Seeing as people who live near the Seam are usually more impoverished, I was surprised when Pam turned down compensation. Wouldn't she want money? Her kindness, although descriptive of her character, doesn't make sense to me here.

3) I'm assuming your characters are living in District 12. If so, then they show a distinct similarity to Katniss and Gale. Lily has a bow and arrows, James likes to hunt with her. They both hunt illegally, just like Katniss and Gale do in the series. I would appreciate it if they were modeled less after the characters in the Hunger Games--unless, of course, it's important to your story. ;)

4) The part where Lily mentions the fence seems awkward emotionally. She said she "was afraid of it"... but there's nothing to be afraid about, seeing as it's dead. I suggest saying Lily used to be cautious around it, or something less strong than fear.

5) The ending to Lily's P.O.V. seems rushed to me. You don't linger on the details as well as you did at the beginning, and you also tie it off kind of awkwardly--"Everything becomes darkened around the edges of my eyes and I hear something." Finishing it off with a phrase like "I hear something" leaves a lot of questions. You could end with something like, "Everything becomes darkened around the edges of my eyes and listen as a scream reaches my ears."

I like your ending! It leaves a bit of mystery as to who the Peacekeeper is and why James looks surprised. If this is a chapter, I would love to see the series continued!

XOX,
Lupa22




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Sun Mar 26, 2017 11:57 am
Aleta wrote a review...



Here for a brief review. The first few paragraphs of this piece were strong. Particularly in which you emphasized on the feelings and emotions of the people by saying 'They are veterans. They are relieved'. You did well on describing the characters and giving us a clear image of what they look like. However, as I progress through the story it starts to seem very rushed. By the end, this is more evident and it seems like you're just going through the motions and began to lack your otherwise cool, calm and descriptive manner.

I'll just pick out a few things here I noticed were awkward.

'I close the door and walk to Lily's room. She is probably still sleeping, it was a long night for her last night.'

The repetitiveness of night makes this awkward. Maybe just capitalize only on she was tired from yesterday's endeavors.

'She replies, her voice sad.'
Would have been more brief to just say that she replied sadly or grimly.

'I'm going to Jon's." She says and is gone.'
This seems a bit rushed. To be more descriptive you could replace this with actions instead of words. Put us through the characters eyes and mention her 'walking hurriedly out with an uneven gait' or something we can picture.

Great plot so far, as well as great potential.





I know history. There are many names in history, but none of them are ours.
— Richard Siken