Definitions

Hey Catalyn, I loved your poem. It has a certain ring to it a certain tone that just strikes you when you start reading it and then draws you in further. Now the title definitions is very interesting and captivating. In your poem, you go on to question the definitions of various natural phenomena and you make a very valid point as to who drew these lines and conjured up this scale of measurement that only takes into account a few conveniently chosen parameters and neglects all that is incomprehensible or is too revolting or is not as sensational as they would like.

It also makes the point of looking at things in a positive way, to take the high road and to believe in all that is good. This is where I feel things could be a bit better.

For me, and feel free to disagree with me I can be completely off here. But any incident can not be chalked up to be just good or just bad nothing is Black and nothing is white(apart from a few things of course) But largely the world is grey. Now your poems points out the two extremes of any situation, But it fails to highlight the grey areas.
And the grey area is what I like to call reality.

I hope You find this helpful, all the best for your writings

I liked this poem. It had a voice to it from the very first stanza. The inquisitive nature of the stanzas and the minimalistic qualities made it sound innocent, but powerful at the same time.

I liked the repetition you had-I'm a sucker for repetition in poetry, and I think you did a good job with it.

Ok, ok, so I have no idea why this is a thing in my brain-I can't explain why, but the third stanza sounds off in my head. It might be a rhythm thing, but it's probably just my musical brain trying to make a poem into a song. Not cool, brain. This isn't really criticism (because I have no reason why it seemed off), just something I noticed as I read. (Stupid musically oriented brain)

This is a very nice poem, and I'm very glad I got to read it!

ella

LittleLee here for a review!
The poem is so sweet! You have a very unique perspective, and I'd love to see you work on it!
I especially like the part about the lightning. However, I don't like the first and last stanzas. Many rivers are not described so. Take the Nile, for example. It is known for bringing excellent silt to the riverbank during the rainy season. At least, it was, but now because of the dam... well, that's irrelevant. The point being, that's unfair to rivers.
Well, that's all I have to say! The poem is one of the most sensitive and moving poems I've ever read!

Thanks for sharing this inquisitive poem. It reminded me of the saying: “Whenever I do good, no one remembers. whenever I do bad, no one forgets.” The poem’s meditative tone led me to think deeply about these things and since that was its intention it succeeded.

I pondered about the rivers and concluded that rivers draw attention to themselves when they wreak havoc just as people like Billy the Kid and Jesse James and Attila the Hun would not be remembered if they hadn’t wreaked havoc-so rivers as well. If there is death involved seemingly insignificant rivers will be remembered. Look at the Little Big Horn. Its only claim to notoriety is the battle that took place involving Custer and his Seventh Cavalry.

Also, rivers with swift currents, like the Colorado, which provide recreational services and irrigation, are know for both. Those like Niagara are known for both swiftness and hydroelectricity. So rapids will draw attention to themselves in those ways.

When storms strike it is their wind and the flooding of low-lying coastal areas that causes deaths and suffering. So the negative impact of its rain detracts from any beneficial effect it would otherwise bestow. Look at the island of Haiti and the recent storm disaster. Is it indeed irrational for them to view the storm as an enemy instead of a friend? Hit by an Earthquake they fled to the beaches. There is where the hurricane caught them full flush.

Lighting can be beautiful and is indeed beautiful at a distance But it always causes a certain uneasiness when one is out in the open and those bolts are spearing down seemingly randomly from above. Nothing beautiful about getting one’s brains fried. So when lightning is being described, what draws most attention is its killing power because we are afraid it might kill us. That it produces nitrogen for plant life is OK as well, but not our primary concern when we are out in the open.

So your poem made me delve on such things and I truly appreciate its power to do so.

hi! shane here for a quick review!

overall thoughts: i love this poem. the flow is wonderful, and it has an easy going feel when reading it.

structure: i feel as if you could format the stanzas a little differently. they're all touching and that makes it seemed a bit rushed and seperated (beacause of the short lines). perhaps:
[i]Why are rivers defined by their rapids[, and]
not the peaceful parts in between?

[etc.]

that's really it! this is a fabulous piece, so keep writing!

~shane

Hi! Stopping by for a quick review!

To start, the poem flowed really well. It was easy to read and the rhyme scheme worked well with the poem. I think that the word choice is also very strong; its simple yet it works well.
Overall, I think the poem is pretty solid. I like how the speaker is asking questions about the strange and obscure things in nature. My favorite part was
"Why are rivers
defined by their rapids
not the peaceful parts
in between?"

I also like how you repeated the part about rivers at the end.
My only suggestion would be to maybe break the poem up and there's a few ways to do this.

Ex1:
Why are rivers
defined by their rapids
not the peaceful parts
in between?

Why are storms
described by the havoc they wreak
and not the rain
that they bring?

Why is lightning explained
by its deadly power
not it's beauty
when it dances
in the sky?

Why are rivers
defined by their rapids
not the parts
that bring peace
to me?

Ex2:
Why are rivers
defined by their rapids
not the peaceful parts
in between?
Why are storms
described by the havoc they wreak
and not the rain
that they bring?
Why is lightning explained
by its deadly power
not it's beauty
when it dances
in the sky?

Why are rivers
defined by their rapids
not the parts
that bring peace
to me?

I personally think the format is good whether you change it or not, but these are just some other options.

Hope this helped! Love the piece!!! Keep up the good work!

-E