I wish.. I wish… I wish…
You promised that you’d be nicer you told me that you’d get better but now here I am crying a sea of tears.
You told me some hurtful things that will never leave my brain.
People say maybe you’ll get better people say maybe he’ll be nicer.
Why is it always maybe why is it never will be why is it always 99 and never a hundred.
Why is it that no matter what I say or do somehow you'll find a way to hurt me.
I’m tired of saying I wish, why can’t it be it is,
Only if
Only if
Only if
Finally you apologize and you say give one more try I want to but I’m to hurt to help you.
But if i reject you’ll get mad and say I’m giving up on you, and then back to the cycle of abuse.
People say give him another try people say he might get better in time
Why is it always maybe why is it never will be why is it always 99 and never a hundred.
Why is it that no matter what I say or do somehow someway you’ll find a way to hurt me.
I’m tired of saying I wish why can’t it be it is,
Only if
Only if
Only if
I dream of how it could be if you’d only do what you’re supposed to
I look around at other families and wonder why me?
Why does this have to be
Why is it always maybe why is it never will be why is it always 99 and never a hundred.
Why is it that no matter what I say or do somehow you'll find a way to hurt me.
I’m tired of saying I wish why can’t it be it is,
Only if
Only if
Only if
Why can’t it ever be it is, why can’t you ever just be nice, why can’t you ever just think twice, why can’t I do anything right?Only if
Only if
Only if
Only if
Only If
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Hey friend! What a lovely song you have written. I decided to stop by and leave you a quick review for this lovely piece of yours. Let's jump right into the review:
This song is about some really powerful emotions. It seems like this person continues to hurt you no matter what you do. They promised they'd be nice but here you are still crying over them and writing the song. You use a lot of strong imagery, like when you mentioned the brain and how these emotions will never leave you. I love the numbers you've used to stating that you'll always be at 99 and never 100. To me, the symbolizes that you can never be complete well this person is still in your life because of the way they've hurt you. They've left a lot of scars that have damaged you deeply.
I would love to hear the tune of this song someday! My only recommendation is in this first above. I noticed the "only if" seems to be just on his own. Perhaps adding a space and a period after it would help. But I love the repetition, this really gives us strong, heartfelt feeling to the song. Because when we repeat things a lot of times, they sink deeper into our hearts. I hope the person who hurt you can hear this someday. I bet it sounds lovely! To me, this poem speaks a lot to the "only if's" that we all have in our lives. I found it to be very personal and lovely! Keep on writing.
Your friend,
Ellie
Hey, Kaerae here for a short review! I know it’s pretty late, but I stumbled across this piece in the green room. After reading it like a poem, I would like to listen to the full song, if you know the link or posted it. Anyways, on with the review!
wow. A very emotional way to start off. The repetition of words really emphasizes everything that the MC is going through. It’s definitely true that people say a lot of things they don’t mean. Piece of advice though, it’s usually not worth putting up with someone who constantly hurts you (from a personal experience). But, as this song goes along it’s a lot of rhetorical questions and constantly asking “why”. That’s relatable, an overthinking brain always asks those types of questions. I can picture this being sung really softly and beautifully~this is a good solid body to the song. It tells of longing for things and we can see the chorus clearer now. Again, the repeated words are a great way to emphasize. It’s very relatable.
And finally the ending, alright, a few pointers. I know this is a song, but if you want to use it as a poem, maybe find a little different structure here. It’s beautifully written but the flow could be better… separate the different sentences break it down a little better (main words and then chorus) and then I think it will be perfect. I know this is a short review, but i don’t think much needs to be changed. Let me know if you have the link I’m curious to how this goes! ~
Keep writing,
Kaerae.
This is very well written and thought out. It's relatable to many people going through not only relationships, but also friendships where the other person doesn't give 100 percent. I've been through many of these types of friendships and relationships where I wanted more from someone who wasn't capable of giving me what I needed.