i am thinking about the way constellations
shift over time and suppose that maybe
we weren't ever meant to be together,
in the same way that the sun and moon
are destined to be lovers at a distance.
i am thinking about the way your hair,
coated in moonlight, has me holding my
breath to keep this memory locked in time.
your eyes glowing from the traffic lights,
a harsh reflection of a hollow night. the stars
slipping through the sunroof and grazing
our scalps. the silence filling the car space,
save for the radio speaking softly between us.
as if to say: yes, this is real.
you're driving slow to savor the moment.
to delay the crash. the headlights kiss the road
maroon and i mistake it for blood. our shadows
seep out the windows like smoke signals,
but even in the neon glow of a no vacancy sign
they can't be seen. the collision is coming.
i look out the rearview mirror and wonder, in our
last moments, what will be saved from the wreckage.
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139,211 Literary Works • 672,510 Reviews
Hi! It’s time for me, CATS, to give a shot review! This captured me in, so why not read it? Let’s start!
Wow. I love how the first paragraph is about love and fate and destiny; I’m really into that stuff. I love how the narrator is questioning love as well! Very nicely done.
The second paragraph is describing more about the narrator’s lover, about how her hair looks and her eyes and her soft voice. Absolutely amazing. I love the details! Gives me a sense of peace.
Aww...a collision at the end?? So heartbreaking. I hope there’s a dequel poem or something; I want to know what happens next.
Overall, I think this poem is really good and my favourite part is the second paragraph with all the details, that really took all my attention XD. Happy Writing’
Love,
CATS
Hey there, phantasm! I'm Alex and I'll be reviewing this shattering poem of yours today. So buckle up!
First, I must start with shedding light on a major ambiguity. I'm not able to make out clearly if this poetry is about humans or animals. The title- 'roadkill' is typically used for animals and the description said 'dying things' which might suggest animals again as they're referred to as 'it' in English language, similiar to inanimate objects. On the other hand, the narrative of the poem points more towards people with references to the radio and car. A humanised tone is used throughout the poem, so I'm leaning towards the opinion that it does speak of humans, the roadkill was just a poor choice of word or a poetic innovation. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong!
I'll kick things off with the first paragraph. The reader is introduced to the doubts the protagonist struggles with, towards love. The opinion being that the protagonist and their lover are not meant for each other. Metaphors from nature of the drifting constellations and the Sun and moon- celestial bodies with an enormous distance between them, are used by the insecure mind to justify and feed the hesitancy of the protagonist for the romantic relationship.
I love how the reader is engaged from the very beginning, by revealing the inner monologue of the protagonist. We're not yet aware of how good the connection between the protagonist and their lover is in reality, but we've been introduced to the reservations the protagonist harbours for it. I think it sets us prone to doubts as well, a cunning way to control the reader's perspective and opinion of things to come.
The second stanza lays down a striking contrast to the first. It's almost unbelievable that they're talking about the same people. I look the metaphor for hair being coated in moonlight, it sounds set like a layer of paint, instead of the usual faint reflection. It's rather unrealistic but divine for the very same reason!
This was my favourite line in the poetry. It implies that the protagonist desperately wishes to freeze this moment in time. It's perfect to the point that she doesn't want it to pass by. It's everything that's she's ever wanted and is not yet ready to let go of it.
As heavenly as the setting is, the protagonist is reminded of the grounding reality upon the reflection of traffic lights in their lover's eyes. The surreal trance is now broken.
I like the part about the radio, demonstrating a perfect balance. It doesn't amplify the dreamy moment, but doesn't ruin it either. What it does is bring the protagonist to a lovely realisation that its all really- a daydream coming to life.
The third stanza is about wrapping things up, as it all approaches the end.
We see the lover shares the sentiments of the protagonist to hold on this movement forever.
I must admit, the next lines I found to a little vague. I can't make heads or tails or what is precisely happening.
I'm assuming they've just crashed based on this?
Though unclear, this line seems to contradictory. If the protagonist mistook it for blood, what was it actually? Also, why isn't it blood considering they've just suffered a car crash.
According to my understanding, you're talking about souls departing into afterlife upon death from impact. It rather seals the conclusion of the collision for the worse. This was a very graceful depiction though!
If not for this part, I would've reckoned that the protagonist and their lover have accidentally killed an animal with their car. But this line clearly states otherwise.
Such a powerful last thought! As the protagonist approaches death's door, they're curious if any part of their loved will survive the accident, as if it really is immortal, or their suspicious were rightly placed. It also sounds like a plea of a lover wanting life. They've just lived a high in love and are not yet ready for all for it be over just yet. They want life to live and love more, knowing their pleas and desires are about to go unanswered.
In a nutshell, this peace was an unpredictable rollercoaster! A perfect blend of sabotaging doubts, enchanting moments in love and an abrupt end. It depicts how even the most beautiful love can suffer cracks of uncertainty- love is, in no way, easy or perfect. It's comforting but takes will and work from both sides. Lastly, the tragic ending gives the poetry a melancholic touch. It reminds the reader how everything is transient, and how a high can drop to ground zero in a split second. It was an immersive read, and a pleasure to review. Hope to read more from you sometime soon!
will review this soon