E - Everyone

Falling

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My wings were plucked

Before I could even fly,

Now every time I dream

I'm falling from the sky. 

Comments & reviews · 6
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Lib
Comment

Oh my. The way you used your language was perfect! A lot of emotion and depth in such a small poem is amazing. Don't know how you did it, but it was perfect-o!

Hope to see more from you soon! Oh! Welcome to YWS! :)

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500

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Samhain
Review
Samhain wrote a review · Mon Dec 17, 2018 7:57 pm

This is a very thoughtful poem. I like the subtlety of language and the simplicity of it, and the driving emotional depth of it. It portrays the stunting of growth and the trauma that followed, and it makes the reader wonder what the narrator went through to use this metaphor to describe their hurt. At least that is how it sounds to me. I don't want to read into it too much.
Really good! Keep writing, and welcome to the YWS!

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Lilemogirl
Comment

I Absolutely loved it it has a lot of depth and feelings!! Please write more Poems!!! Ur very talented
Its really amazing!
The feelings that were felt the depth and this poem had many different emotions all in one poem i absolutely loved it please write more!!!
This poem kinda reminds me of a fallen Angel shunned because they are different we are all human no mater how different we are !!
Its amazing that you can make something so simple into an amazing work of art!!!

I hope you keep writing more cause i'll be the first (hopefully) to give you a review!!!

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Lilemogirl
Review

I Absolutely loved it it has a lot of depth and feelings!! Please write more Poems!!! Ur very talented
Its really amazing!
The feelings that were felt the depth and this poem had many different emotions all in one poem i absolutely loved it please write more!!!
This poem kinda reminds me of a fallen Angel shunned because they are different but we are all human no mater how different we are !!
Its amazing that you can make something so simple into an amazing work of art!!!

User avatar
atlast
Review
atlast wrote a review · Mon Dec 17, 2018 3:35 pm

Hi, Caitlyn; I'm Shane! Welcome to YWS, and congrats on your first review star! I'm here to provide a (hopefully) helpful review to your poem, Falling.

My Overall Thoughts
I enjoyed this poem. It was short and sweet but portrayed a message easily. Well done!

Imagery
I can clearly see what's going on in this poem (I know it's a metaphor, but you know what I mean XD).

Format
A nice little four-line stanza, nothing to critique here!

Wording
I feel as if my only critique is in this category, as interstella said. The last two lines are a bit confusing. Remember, though, my critiques are just suggestions, so feel free to disregard them completely.

Parting Words
Like I originally said, a job well done! Your poem expressed it's theme well and had good imagery, as well as being free from most other issues.

Thanks for the wonderful piece, and keep it up!

-Shane

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interstella
Review

Hi, Caitlynn! This is a great poem! I love how the simplicity of the poem conveys such a powerful meaning. I think your message is very universal. Props to you for writing something so short that means a lot, it's hard to do.

My only critique is that the wording of the last two lines had me a little confused. Did you mean to convey that every time you dream, you dream you are falling from the sky? Or that when you dream, you're falling from the sky? I dunno, this is kind of a stupid critique and you don't have to fix it if you don't want to, but if you meant the former option, then I would add a comma.

(This is a very long review for such a condensed poem.)

Lovely writing! Keep up the great work :)



You, who have all the passion for life that I have not? You, who can love and hate with a violence impossible to me? Why you are as elemental as fire and wind and wild things...
— Gone With the Wind