The flowing word

by Burntshadow

Published April 8, 2014

In Poetry (my attempt at it)

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The flowing word is beauty
And the harsh word truth,
The smile is betrayal
And the tear faithful,
The kiss is lust
And the hug love.

So yell and cry,
But hold me tight
In you embrace,
When the sun has set
And shadow come,
For you are my light
In the eternal darkness.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
runawaylove
Review
runawaylove wrote a review Review · Apr 8, 2014

Hey! Runawaylove here to review your poem.

First of all this is a very catchy piece of writing. The flow of the poem is this beautiful especially because this poem is not rhyming so in this case the flow is remarkable. The first stanza is so deep and full of meaning. You have a great writing potential and the way you expressed yourself was just amazing.

"The smile is betrayal
And the tear faithful,"

These are my favourite lines :) . Other than that the typing mistakes are pointed out by Crimsona. Keep writing!

User avatar
Crimsona
Review
Crimsona wrote a review Review · Apr 8, 2014

Oh I love this! It definitely has the beauty of the flowing word. I love the flow of your style, it's so easy to read and this poem really put a smile on my face. There are a few errors though which I'd like to point out:

'But hold me tight
In you embrace' <- there's a missing r at the end of 'you'.

and

'When the sun has set
And shadow come,' <- I think there's a missing s at the end of 'shadow'

Overall, I really love the message of this poem. It's really beautiful.

Keep writing!



not to be woke but i just can't go around eating houses
— chi