Hi there! Happy review day to you.
The title is very pleasing and so is the content. Which human heart won't be appealed by the very essence of freedom? The use of nature-related imagery further adds up the soothing effect. It serves as a remarkable connotation to liberty- free like nature!
However, the repetition of "And all at once" does not work well for me. I wouldn't call it annoying but I felt that it is a bit overused. And if I were to take it literally, it wouldn't make much sense either- Liberty is not achieved "all at once" rather it hinges on a gradual struggle of generations. Apologies, I think I got rather carried away here.
This poem starts as:
Then all at once
Wind came down from the valleys
Sun came down from the meadows
Now, I have mixed feeling about starting a literary work with "Then". I don't think everyone will like it- it leaves a lot of imagination on behalf of the reader. But I personally don't have any problem with that. Also the repetition of "reign" (used twice in the same stanza) could do better with any other substitute. I have to say, rest of the word choice is brilliant.
This bit really touched me:
For when
Liberty
Reigns in our heart
Freedom, our lady fair
Shall surely find us.
Great work! Keep writing. Take Care.
SWOPNIL
Cobalt Critiquers
Points: 413
Reviews: 16
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