Published November 19, 2009
My voice,
Is the echo of my actions,
And the lives that I've harmed.
These hands,
Are the giver of my hatred,
And the anger in my soul.
My life,
Is painting on walls,
And carving my name,
In people's hearts.
My choice,
Has brought me to hell,
This life is just shit,
But the knife, it so hurts.
These friends,
Are only my friends,
When I harm others,
And fuck up their lives.
Now this life,
Is stained with blood,
And not of my own,
But the people I've harmed.
I can't,
Take back my actions,
Or change my life,
Because I've chosen to live,
By the code,
Of vandalism and knives.
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Canary word: Present
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140,830 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
I really have nothing negative to say about this.
I liked that you didn't follow a set rhyme scheme. Sometimes that works in songs but a lot of times I think it gets too rhymey-rhymey and it's like, oh I need to find a word that rhymes with gold, let's make bold fit in because that's the first word I thought of.
The rhythm was pretty good. I could hear the song in my head as I read it. Sometimes I thought the rhythm got slightly off but if it it's all smooth and awesome sounding for you, that's what matters.
I liked the topic and the emotion it brought out.
Me like. Gold star for you.
-Carly
i loved it very good keep it up
This song was great, but I don't call it emo, I call it kick ass! The moral of the song was great and the words were used great. Anyways you got talent! I hope you will write more like these songs were you can describe and show were evil can lead. Lots of songs are all about love and I am just so sick and tired of it. I finally can read something new.
Whoa. That right there was amazing. I could almost hear it playing in my head.
If I could I would teach you to play guitar! But that is kinda impossible. Ha ha!
XOXOXOXOXOXO
Summer Night
Well, maybe one day, like, next year when I can fully play guitar I'll add something, lolz. Thanks for the feedback!
"This probably only appeals to Emo people." Wow I actually liked this, are you calling me emo? Nevermind, I'm dropping that subject. I would really love to hear this with a beat and everything.