flowers 1.2

by Brigadier

Published October 20, 2019

E - Everyone

In q. flowers

PreviousNext

[text removed]

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
erinr05
Review
erinr05 wrote a review Review · Oct 29, 2019

You write very poetically and beautifully - I love your style of writing.

Just as a small criticism, I think that if the starts of lines/stanzas were capitalised it would be more professional and readable.

I like the idea of fate and outside forces bringing the two people together, and the hesitance the narrator shows. The longing to be more confident is quite relatable.

The idea of fate is beautifully presented, and, again, the idea of outside forces show how the narrator is destined to love this person.

I like the phrases "lack of guidance" and "sky of simple dreams".

You're really creative, I hope you continue to write :)

User avatar
WinnyWriter
Review
WinnyWriter wrote a review Review · Oct 28, 2019

Hello, it's WinnyWriter! This is a cool poem. I can obviously see that the narrator is expressing hidden feelings for a special person. This reflects the ever-common experience of young humanity. I also like how you used word pictures that make the reader think and imagine.

I will offer some constructive criticism and say that you have like no capitalization whatsoever. Putting forth the effort to add that important detail will make your poem more readable, as well as making it look more professional, if you ask me.

You have a skill with creativity. Keep on spilling out your beautiful inspirations!

AliceFairfield wrote a review Review · Oct 25, 2019

I can almost see the romantic longing present in this poem. What I found most interesting is that fact you refer to whatever has lead the speaker to fall in love as a "reaper." It feels as if he or she's "doomed" to be in love. Or maybe "fated" is a better word. I also enjoyed the "car door" line, as it indicates very well how assertive the speaker wishes he or she could be in front of their object of affection.

I do wish the speaker luck in his or her pursuit, personally speaking.

User avatar
bkk99 Comment
bkk99 commented Comment · Oct 20, 2019

this made me start thinking about my ex. about what could have been. you write very beautifully, and very poetically. your last two lines are forcing me to become introspective, so thank you for that :)



The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate.
— O. Henry (William Sydney Porter)