with each new breath of spring to grace the earth,
i am left further in my memories of the fall that has
since passed away and left the groundskeeper to
tend to it all.
oh groundskeeper. oh reaper. oh holy keeper of
the lands of the recent dead, is my love for one
included in the list of the deceased?
have they left you alone to tend to the fields?
perhaps to bring a new light to the day.
as i walk the path to ask this guardian -
to ask them how they stand above waiting
souls and strike their scythe down -
are they willing to give me love in exchange
for my soul?
my soul that already belongs to another,
the one that may be its mate and the one
that i am trying to love?
i cannot find it within my heart to grace the
lands like the others who surround me. but
i try to find the chemical process that creates
sparks in the souls of lovers who truly find
themselves in love.
tell me please reaper, what shall i do?
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140,083 Literary Works • 672,994 Reviews
I love the concept of the poem - it's unique and interesting. It reads like something written hundreds of years ago (in a good way).
I like how the poem is ended with a question, it somehow makes it more memorable.
I like how the narrator's emotional distress and inner turmoil is shown.
Are the last two stanzas about trying to love someone?
From what I can tell, it's about not being able to love his/her "soulmate", which I think was a good direction to take this in.
All in all, I enjoyed reading this poem, so well done
Hey, Little's here to review!
Starting off, I enjoy the whole concept behind the poem. It reminds of the dramatic monologue, a style I'm very fond of. And I love how it is addressed to Death! The comparison to the reaper being a guardian is highly intriguing and thought-provoking. The theme is romance, I suppose, but from a view that not many people use. It adds to the unique beauty of this poem.
The diction you've used is interesting. Simple yet elegant, the words don't drag out and create any friction. The reading is smooth and rhythmic.
The sounds fascinate me. Alliterations, consonances and assonances have been used to great effect. They all form a kind of beat that makes the poem one that needs to be read at a designated speed.
I don't presume to completely understand the last part, but I feel as though the narrator is unable to love his so-called soulmate. That part is really good. The "soulmate" concept has been stuck aside with ease and added a new perspective in the reader's mind.
The only thing I feel can be changed is the use of capital letters. I know what you have done is completely intentional, but I feel that if capital letters were used, the poem would also feel more pleasant on the eye.
Well, that's all! I hope to see more of your work around here!