12+ Violence

Gregor and the Bloodbath of Regalia: Chapter 2

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Chapter 2

Gregor gently closed his bedroom door and set his backpack down, walking forward and falling face first into his bed.

His bedroom may not seem like much to most people, but to Gregor, who had been living in a closet cubby for the majority of his life, it could have been a five star hotel suite.

His floor was some once-plush beige carpet, with walls the same color. He had one window that was fairly grimy when he arrived there. Since then it had been cleaned multiple times, but there was still a tan-ish tint in some areas. His bed was pressed up to the far side of the wall, an oak desk next to it for homework and other purposes.

"Gregor. . ?" Harold called. Gregor heard him rapping on his door.

"Door's open," Gregor said flatly. His father stepped in.

Though his father had been plagued with trembling hands, horrible fevers, and worse nightmares when he had returned to Gregor's family, slowly, bit by bit--with some Underland intervention and medicine--he had healed. He'd finally been returned to the strong, happy, healthy state he had been in before he was taken to the underland.

"Hey, buddy. . ." Harold said, sitting on the bed beside Gregor, rubbing his son's shoulder.

"What," Gregor grumbled through the pillow.

"You know, Gregor, I was trapped in the Underland by the rats for some two years now. I had PTSD too. I still have attacks now and again. Nightmares. . . You know, son, you can talk to me if you need to."

"The only thing I want to talk about is how to get back to the Underland, the only place where I can live and not feel empty. . ." Gregor thought.

"You said that aloud, bud."

Gregor grabbed the pillow his face wasn't planted in and hit Harold with it halfheartedly.
"Now now Gregor. . . Would Master Trent say that was the right thing?" Master Trent was his Sensei in *Akido. It was his father's idea to get him into Akido, so he could make sure he had he discipline to keep a firm grasp on his rager sense.

Harold reached under the bed and pulled out a long, thin case made of black cloth with a strap so he could strap it to his back. The silver of a steel hilt stuck out, with the lip of a sheath the same color as the cloth just peeking out the top.

"I don't think I've ever seen you in an actual sword fight." He drew the sword.

It wasn't hand-crafted an inlaid with jewels, as Sandwich's sword was. Nor was it made of fine steel and sharper than a razor. No, but the sword was just as important to Gregor. It was a gift to him from Master Trent, when he realized that Gregor was already a fine swordsman who simply needed pointers here and there.

"I'm not a therapist, or a psychiatrist, or a psychic for that matter. But I do know when someone is hurting. When someone has a troubled past. I myself have one. Many men I work with do. And I do know a master of the sword when I see one. You hardly need much help from me. . . So I'm giving you this," Master Trent said when he gave him the sword. Gregor sighed.

"I wouldn't suggest taking me on," Gregor replied.

Harold chuckled at that. "Probably not." He gently drew his hand across the blade. "I'll tell you when dinner's ready." He sheathed the blade, gently sliding the sheath into the black cloth bag. He stepped out of the room.

Gregor rolled.

Something hit his window.

Gregor ignored it, brooding.

Something else hit his window. Then another.

Gregor finally rolled back over, standing up. He walked over to his window and opened it, poking his head out.

He got nailed in the face by a battery.

"A battery?" Gregor thought. "Who would throw a. . ." He looked down.

A black-haired, green-eyed, pale boy stood outside his window, rummaging around in a bag. He was wearing a navy blue pullover and grey jeans.

"Hazard?" Gregor asked in shock.

He looked up. "I'm a bit older now, but yes. It is I."

Gregor burst outside his bedroom door and jumped down the stairs.

"Hey, Gregor, sweetie. . ." his mother called when she saw him. "Hold up!" she shouted when he ignored her and ran straight past. "Dinner'll be ready--what are you running for, Gregor?"

Gregor flew out the door--almost crashing straight into it--and, finally, in his haste, forgot that the front porch had stairs.

He promptly fell face first down them, only at the last minute tucking into a shoulder roll--as his Sensei had taught.

Hazard jumped with his characteristic happiness. Seems that four years didn't change anything.

"That was amazing!" Hazard exclaimed. "What else can you do? Can you do the Great Course, like Luxa?"

Gregor laughed, rubbing the back of his head.

Lizzie ran out the door to see what the commotion was about. "You practically flew out the door and then I heard you laugh--you haven't laughed since--" she silenced the moment she saw Hazard.

"That's him, isn't it?" she whispered. "Luxa's cousin. Hazard, was it?"

Hazard nodded. "I am he."

Lizzie fainted. Gregor caught her, then looked at Hazard.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"No, no," Gregor said, sweeping Lizzie up in a princess carry. "When did I get so strong?" Gregor wondered absently. "She's just. . . Shocked to see an Underlander. We thought we left that life behind."

"Well, Gregor, you see. . . We have an issue." Hazard became very interested in his shoes.

"What do you mean, 'an issue'?" Gregor asked, kicking the door open.

"We have a war on our hands," Hazard said flatly.

"So, solve it without me. You've done it before."

". . . A civil war. And they're screaming for the Warrior's blood."

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
Mea
Review
Mea wrote a review · Sun Sep 18, 2016 12:41 pm

Hey there! I really liked Gregor the Overlander when I read it, so I thought I'd come and give this a review today. (Also, I haven't read the series in ages, so my apologies if I get something wrong because of my bad memory. :P)

I liked this. It's pretty interesting, and I think Gregor feels like Gregor throughout. I was a bit surprised by the Akaido thing, but I guess if you've gone through as much crap as Gregor has, you'd want to learn how to defend yourself.

However, I think the biggest weakness might be your dialogue. I don't know why, but although Gregor's actions seemed in-character, his dialogue and the other characters' in general just felt rather stiff. There's also not a lot of setting description - I had a bit of a hard time picturing the characters' surroundings.

I was surprised Lizzie fainted. Maybe I'm misremember, but I felt like she was made of stronger stuff than that. Also, how old is she now?

"You know, Gregor, I was trapped in the Underland by the rats for some two years now. I had PTSD too. I still have attacks now and again. Nightmares. . . You know, son, you can talk to me if you need to."

Because you pretty much just barely explained this a couple paragraphs ago, it feels redundant. I'd probably move the explanation to after the dialogue.

I think that's all I've got for you! Good luck with this fanfiction, and keep writing!

First off, thanks for the review!
Aikido is a martial art that focuses a lot on controlling yourself and disabling your opponent without hurting them--and it's also based heavily on swordsmanship--so I thought it'd be right up Gregor's alley.
The dialogue felt still, eh?
PERFECT!
THAT'S what I was going for!
I wanted it to feel stiff and awkward, to make it feel as if Gregor was on a different page from everyone else.
Also, yeah Lizzie fainted. She often had panic attacks in the actual series and vomited shortly before slapping unconscious when she first came to the Underland.
I think that's about it, though.
Thanks again for the review! I'm happy you enjoy this.
-Jay

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OreosAreLife
Comment

I absolutely love this series and I'm glad you have decided to keep it going. Please keep me informed when you write new chapters please. Thank you!

I'll be sure to, then. I'm happy you enjoy this! It's somewhat hard for me to write, actually, because I have to put so much time and thought into everything I say to copy the writing style Susanne Collins uses. . . Which is so different from mine.

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felistia
Review

Hi, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day. :D

Nit-picks

"You know, Gregor, I was trapped in the Underland by the rats for some two years now.
So are these people smaller than normal people or are these rats really big? I was just wondering since these rats seem to be causing a lot of trouble.

Grammar and Punctuation

It wasn't hand-crafted an inlaid with jewels,
I think you meant to say "and" instead of "an".

Overall thoughts

Chapter plot: Well this chapter I'd say was just as interesting as the last chapter. You ended it with a great cliff hanger and answered a few of my questions. I do have a few more, but as before I'm sure you'll answer them in the coming chapters. I can't wait to hear a bit about this Hazard guy. Why is he and Gregor so happy to see each other and questions like that. I can't really give you much advice when it comes to plot yet since it's fairly early in the story, but one thing' for sure; I'm defiantly going to carry on following your story. :D

Characters: I am starting to really like Gregor and I'm happy that you took the time to show his personal life with his family a bit. I wonder what has his father so beaten up? With out a big info dump you managed to tell my that he's a great swords master, used to live in the UnderLands and that his father was involved. He seems to be fairly attached to his family and doesn't seem to have family issues.

This Hazard guy seems to also have a fairly deep past with Gregor and I'm looking forward to seeing more of that.

Description: I'd say that the only fault in your story is that lack of description. You explained Gregor's room pretty well and I can see is surroundings pretty well. The problem lies in the fact that you don't really give me his personal feelings like the fact that a battery hit him in the face; I'm sure that that would hurt. I just feel that you are lacking in sound, touch, smell, and taste. You've got sight as a sense nailed pretty much, but I think there needs to be more of the other four. :D

Overall this was a great chapter and I look forward to the next one. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night. :D

Your friend, Felistia. :D

p.s Please keep me notified for your story. :D

This review courtesy of Image

Well, thanks! Your review made me smile.
I was really able to tell you all that without it seeming awkward? I was just writing this in the assumption you've already read the series and known about Gregor's skills/past.
Maybe that's how I should fix my info dumping problems in my original novels. . .
ANyhow, I'll work on your little nitpicks. Thanks again for the review!
-Jay

Oh, and yes, the rats are larger than humans. In Susanne Collins's original Underland Chronicles (not my fanfic), the creatures in the Underland are hUMONGOUS. Cockroaches the size of a full grown man's torso, rats the size of a large long-haired akita, bats large enough to carry three or four adults/teenagers. . . They're big.



In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
— JRR Tolkien