Young Writers Society

This one gave me a lot to think about. At first glance you give us a very positive lesson. That even after we are long gone, like that river, there is a trace of us left in this world, that If we live our life right there will be effects of our actions long after we've passed, giving us some kind of immortality. That felt very encouraging. There is another side to this poem too though, a sadder one. It reminded me that even if we ever get to be a mighty river someday, after enough time we will still dry out, that no matter how bold and world changing our lives were one day there will only be a trace of us left, if even that. We are given so little time, and it is easy to waste it, this poem in a way reminds the reader to live the life we have right. Great work BlueGlow!

Hi! I'm here for a quick review!

For starters, this is amazing! I loved the flow; though I can't clearly make out a rhyme scheme, the words simply roll off my tongue.
I like the topic; it's something that makes me think. The whole 'immortality in memory' vibe is intriguing.

The parts which attracted me were the 2nd and 3rd stanzas:

Will I have that same effect?

Will my life's works continue,

like ripples from a stone thrown into a pond?

I can only hope that they will.


Perhaps that is the hope of all men.

To live forever, even if only in memory.

Will these words leave ripples?

Or will they sink without a trace?

Hi! I'm here for a quick review!

For starters, this is amazing! I loved the flow; though I can't clearly make out a rhyme scheme, the words simply roll off my tongue.
I like the topic; it's something that makes me think. The whole 'immortality in memory' vibe is intriguing.

The parts which attracted me were the 2nd and 3rd stanzas:

Will I have that same effect?

Will my life's works continue,

like ripples from a stone thrown into a pond?

I can only hope that they will.


Perhaps that is the hope of all men.

To live forever, even if only in memory.

Will these words leave ripples?

Or will they sink without a trace?

Hello! Pix here to review this for you!

To start, I wanted to really appreciate the formatting here, it made the poem easy to read. I like how you indented instead of seperating the stanzas.

The first stanza:

I sit on the banks of the dried out river.

Water hasn't graced this land in eons

yet the remains of a river still exist,

the remains of a hard life's work continuing.

Will I have that same effect?

Will my life's works continue,

like ripples from a stone thrown into a pond?

I can only hope that they will.

Perhaps that is the hope of all men.

To live forever, even if only in memory.

Will these words leave ripples?

Or will they sink without a trace?

I look out into the distance

and see the sun setting far away.

I wish I could have seen this river

when the waters still flowed.

Hi BlueGlow!! I'm Anne here to review your work.

I love your new perspective when seeing a river!!

MEANING
The meaning of this poem was absolutely stunning! The analogy of a hard working person and river was unprecedented but heartwarming! The hope of being alive forever, even if just in memories is so relatable and inspiring.

I look out into the distance

and see the sun setting far away.

I wish I could have seen this river

when the waters still flowed.

Perhaps that is the hope of all men.

To live forever, even if only in memory.

Firstly, I thought that this poem was a great reflective piece on our existence and even the insecurity of the path you are walking and being unsure if you will ever be remembered for your sacrifices, which is a really difficult topic to cope with because it forces us to question our purposes in the world.

Water hasn't graced this land in eons

yet the remains of a river still exist,

Or will they sink without a trace?

Will my life's works continue,

like ripples from a stone thrown into a pond?

Perhaps that is the hope of all men.

To live forever, even if only in memory.

I wish I could have seen this river

when the waters still flowed.

Hi BlueGlow,
You really did a good job of choosing the right words for the theme.
It's a somewhat short but really powerful poem, powerful as in one can really make a picture out of the setting upon reading it, which in my opinion only few writers can actually manage to do.

I really like the connection of the beginning and the end of this building up from the dried out river to the

I wish I could have seen this river

when the waters still flowed.

Will I have that same effect?

Will my life's works continue,

like ripples from a stone thrown into a pond?

I can only hope that they will.

I look out into the distance

and see the sun setting far away.

I wish I could have seen this river

when the waters still flowed.

This is a very beautiful and... reflective poem!

"the remains of a hard life's work continuing." I think that you could take out the, "continuing," part since you are comparing the remains of a river bank in which water no longer flows to, "a hard life's work." I think your comparison would be more effective if all that was left was no longer actively changing by itself since the original creator of the work is gone. You could say an, "enduring hard life's work," if you want to convey that the, "life's work," had a meaningful/ permanent impact on the world.

"I look out into the distance/ and see the sun setting far away." I think the, "far away," part is a bit repetitive since you already mentioned that you were looking, "out into the distance." The, "far away," part also sounds a bit awkward. If you want to add more descriptions or syllables to the line, you could write something along the lines of, "and see the golden sun setting," or, "and see the sun setting below the horizon."

I really like how you ended the poem with the lines, "I wish I could have seen this river/ when the waters still flowed." It seems to suggest that the river was valuable just as the speaker's work will be valuable to other people in the future. It is also a nice way to resolve the poem.

Overall, the poem is very well written and well thought out! I really liked it!