I adore you

This is so wonderful! Really warms my heart! I love love love;

"the epitome of gentleness"

it flows so beautifully!

The line;

"There isn't a trace of terrible lingering around you"

Maybe you could make another association with it? You create so many wonderful metaphors before and afterwards! Keep up the amazing writing!

And I adore this! Bravo

Hello! Rurouni wandering in to review!

This one really liked your work! I must say...

Though I'm sure you've gotten this before, but poetry tends to be broken into stanzas, and since this is poetry... It doesn't feel quiet the same in a paragraph.

If you want to leave it in this form, that's fine! Poetry, in all honestly, is what the author makes it.


If I were you, I'd do something *like* this...

You carry such a peacefulness
about you;
the epitome of gentleness.
I can see galaxies when I look
into your crystalline eyes...


And so on, of course, it can be left like that too...
For some reason, Adore seems... To childish in this context. We're speaking of this person, as if they are this... heavenly being, a very great, person. (Someone you love perhaps?)...
Adore is a nice word, it really is, but it just.... Doesn't seem right for this?... Perhaps something more like, "I desire you" "I love you" "You make my world spin" or something of the sorts, but that Adore, I feel needs to be changed.

I feel like the line "You, yourself could calm oceans." Doesn't need the yourself, it's a little repitive, and all the yous suit their purpose, but I feel that one could be taken out....


Well, I hope I helped! I did like this!


I must wander off now!

Hey geeky here:) (how I start every review)
so first of all,
I already read this today:) hahah

but any way it may look a little more appealing if you did something more like this

"You carry such a peacefulness about you;The epitome of gentleness."
"I can see galaxies when I look into your crystalline eyes."
"Your fleeting beauty astounds me, you're heavenly."
"There isn't a trace of terrible lingering around you."
"You, yourself could calm oceans. You are marvelous; I adore you."

Something in that aspect anyway.

Either way, you already know I think you are an amazingly talented writer!!! I believe I said something like

"You know how people read between the lines? yeah... You write between the lines:)"

Haha and it's so true! you are honestly so talented Jamie! keep up the good work you legacy;)! haha

ttyl girk!