Hello, Birdman! Londone here for a review.
This short story was surrounded around the common concept of a lonely hero who is a total outsider.
But you put your own unique twist on this story, and the hero actually dies with no one that he/she ever found. They accepted the fact that they were not 'that much of a hero'.
The detail in the passage was simple, but well thought out, and therefore I enjoyed it. Well done.
There were a few places were some grammar mistakes were made and you seemed to miss some words. For example:
...never did anything to deserve a seat upstairs.
The word 'I' was missing there. I think you just made a typo in that case.
As for grammar:
Packs roaming across the country side is more of an error
'Is' should be 'Are'. In addition to that the sentence is a bit awkward. What error is made?
You also had a lot of unnecessary commas littered through this piece. This sentence in particular was overwhelming:
Cruel creatures they were, embodiments of devils, I still found some form of mercy, when I chopped off its head instead of lighting it on fire.
But all of these are easy fixes. I think you did very well in the long run. I would like to see more of this character and his background.
Londone
Points: 10789
Reviews: 119
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