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My freewritten plot/story.

by BeingRivy




My freewriting story that i may write about today:

It would be cool and interesting if a puppet villain turned a girl/kid a hand puppet and can convert into a marionette and a ball jointed doll or other toy with no emotion or will. She became taken and controlled by another person who wanted to help the puppet get back to normal. He thought he looked human like but didn’t know how to turn her back to normal, so he visited a youkai house who moved to his place, and the cyclops like youkai said that he needs to go to outer space cause a person moved to the ISS (International space station) ARED. He has many cameras and knows all. So they teleported to outer space but when the youkai and main characters went to the ISS, it was supposed to be a prank but eventually they went to the real ISS, and Jared, and outer space astronaut from ARED, said there’s a villain who's using a magical liquid to convert humans, from real life people to puppets, by making them immobilized in suspended animation (but not their voices). He said, it doesn’t have science and make sense, ‘but he want to help too, he found the formula to turn them back to normal but they needed to find the other ingredients. So they set of an adventure to find the last half of ingredients. It was not easy but they did it, but eventually they found almost all the ingredients but then they lost it by the villain. But they did the most ridiculous plan, that worked to get them back they used the puppets to control the puppet villain herself. She got unconscious , and they got the ingredients to convert her back to normal. The formula they had now wasn’t enough for all the others, but together they healed her, and they made drink liquid for all the other people of the world, and the puppet villain became history. But she managed to become friends and soon, used her powers for good (never evil again). They all became the best of friends, with many other interesting adventures soon to come.

End.


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Tue Jan 25, 2022 11:19 pm
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Fishr wrote a review...



Hi Rivy. As one Autistic person to another, I understand that reading words, books, replies, and such are acutely frustrating, especially differentiating between the prime message because subtly escapes us. Therefore, I will be honest, direct, no sugarcoating. I think my approach will benefit you because I see there are reading comprehension difficulties. Comprehension is an annoyance for me as well. On to the review.



1. Set your story aside. Literally, put this story away for the time being. Trust me, there’s methods to my madness. No, peeking. I told you, do not look at this story anymore. Set it aside.

2. Onto the next step. Worksheets. Specifically, character worksheets. Dude, these are fun, no sarcasm intended. It is time now to flesh out your characters and make them stand out on their own, individually.

3. Image

4. Image

5. Print these two character sketch worksheets. If you have more than one character you want help on, print two more new pages and fill those in for the second character. Do not be afraid to ask for help from your parents or teachers if you do not understand something or need help coming up with ideas.

6. Let me know if those two worksheets helped with developing your characters.

Last but not least, I respectfully request, do not insist I reply immediately or demand I write a return reply with more words than I have written before. It is rude. I will reply when I find free time to do so. Cheers.




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Fri Nov 26, 2021 4:03 pm
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi BeingRivy,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

This is an interesting way to publish a work and I must say that I like the basic thread of the plot reasonably much. There is something exciting about it but also something dramatic and from what I have read, also something very amusing/humorous. I can imagine that there will be many moments where the story will revolve around the characters and also where it will be more about the plot itself.

I think you have already created a good guideline here to process a first idea and believe that you could now also start to write something from it. Above all, I like the abstract that occurs here, like the journey to the ISS, and I think that through this change and attempt to insert many different stylistic devices, you can create a story that could be exciting for every reader in some way, at least to take a brief look at it.

Most of all I like that you already have an ending and an idea of what it will look like. I like that it has a happy ending when there was so much drama and tragedy at the beginning.

But since we only have the plot here in a rough summary, I would advise you to start looking for ideas to connect these different means with ropes to answer the questions that arise (how did they get from point A to B). These are good places, for example, where you could work a bit on introducing the characters better and getting to know them better. I would also like you to maybe start (if this is an attempt to actually write this story) creating an overview with chapters and arcs so you always have a good sense of where you are in the story.

Because I can't tell exactly how big it's going to be yet, because we only have the first line going from top to bottom. I think if you add some subplots, you can make a lot more out of the story, like other characters who are more like side characters who are also looking for the ingredients, etc....

All in all, it's a very refreshing plot.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




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Sat Nov 13, 2021 3:57 am
Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review! And a belated welcome to YWS!

I really enjoyed reading this plot!! I think it has a lot of creativity in it, and I'd love to read it if you turned it into a more fleshed out story! I think it could work either as a novel/story or as a script, and I look forward to maybe seeing it on YWS someday!

One thing I really enjoyed was how original and creative this was! I don't think I've seen anything like it. While there are a few parts that could benefit from some cleaning up/elaboration, I think that your plot points had the distinct makings of a very fun story. Like the other comment said, I think this would definitely make a really great kids' show or something. It has enough whimsy and imagination to fit in with the best of the best. I think one of the most outstanding points was your villain plotline; I love the idea of a villain creating puppets out of people by keeping their bodies in suspended animation and keeping their voices and other qualities for the puppets. I thought that was a really nicely done plot point. Great work!!

One thing I wondered about was the overall sophistication. I think that there were some parts that were a little harder to understand; I think you could have done a better job at establishing the villain puppet girl thing, for one. It was a bit unclear how she got into that situation in the first place, and whether she was the villain, or if she was just cursed by the true villain in some way. The setting was also kind of unclear; it seems like it's a sort of sci-fi world, but it would be interesting if you clarified that. I'm also interested in what "adventures" they went on to find those ingredients they needed and what the details/logistics of their "ridiculous plan" to take down the villain was. It's okay if you don't know now; plotting stories takes time! Just some things to think about as you move forward!

Overall: great work!! I think this is a truly imaginative and unique idea, and I look forward to seeing where you go with it! Until next time!!




BeingRivy says...


Hi Plume, thanks for the advice and review, I appreciate it, and I%u2019m trying to learn a lot about comedy and suspense stories too. I%u2019m also trying to learn about this site and fill with what should be my favorite things. Also I got to write to you 3 questions:
1) I have some issues with with writer%u2019s block and staring at the page. I have problems with being a good writer, and I felt devastated that I was pushing myself too hard. How can I stop pushing and forcing myself too hard on writing and make a good role model and posture for writing?
2) I might need to learn how to make good reviews cause I%u2019m bad a reading and understanding books, and I want to write in my journal more than read
books, but I%u2019m bad at review and how to help improve other%u2019s writing. How can I make better reviews?
3) what are good prompt and journal prompt starters to write in my notebook? I like to write but I need to practice finding what I enjoy and see and explore in the world around me.
I went to the Daiso (the Japanese dollar store) location in America, even though it took 3 subway trains to get there and back. But the trip is worth it and having a great time is important especially with me and the budget checking. I also have changed my profile pic here. I hope you have a nice day. From, BeingRivy.



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Sun Nov 07, 2021 10:03 pm
winterwolf0100 says...



This is such an interesting and creative story idea, Rivy! I could definitely see it being a cartoon movie of some sorts. The first thing that pops into my head is the Phineas and Ferb movie, if you've ever seen that! It gives me Phineas and Ferb vibes in a way, which is awesome! Are you planning on writing this as a full-length book, or a short story, or are you saving it in your back pocket for now until you feel like you can tackle it? : )




BeingRivy says...


I think I might save it , because I think it can be turned into a book, but it would take some time and I%u2019m going to put it away until I can tackle it. What do you think? From, @BeingRivy . What can I do?





I think that saving it until you have time is a great idea! That's what I've done with a ton of ideas that I hope to be able to write when I have more time for them. I think that it looks really cool as a story, and that you'll have a lot of fun writing it when you get the chance to! For now, you could try to come up with some character pages for your characters and answer some basic questions about them to get to know them better! That can help a lot with writing. : ) (If you need a character page template, I'm more than happy to send one your way!)



BeingRivy says...


Hi @winterwolf0100. Thank you for the comment, I think that I do want a character sheet, but I don%u2019t want a complicated/complex character template. And thank you for the compliment that%u2019s it reminds you of Phineas and Ferb, I actually never watched much phineas and ferb but I feel like it%u2019s good.
how do i manage to understand plots and stories? I keep making some the worst plot structures ever. And some don%u2019t have the problem, and then the plot gets stuck, i get stuck in a way then reject my story. Because i have not got a grasp of the plot structure. No wait maybe not plot structure, or plot diagram, though I might need help on some of it, but I need to know how to make the plot more Interesting and that can be concise and change lives with some words. How do I do that? This is a good example of a story I like, but it originally came from a horror manga called Zekkyou Gakkyuu Tensei, though it doesn%u2019t get much recognition in the USA: http://tatsukida.blogspot.com/2021/10/z ... er-34.html

What do you think. - @BeingRivy





Hey Rivy! By the way, I can see when you comment on something of mine, so you don't need to @ me every time : ) For plot, did you look at some of the things I sent over in my PM? I think that you might find a lot of help in joining something in the Roleplay tab honestly, I think it definitely helped me with grasping plots and figuring things like that out. Otherwise, I know it's not much help, but the biggest thing is just continuing to practice writing and reading! If you're looking for some more specific information, I would suggest looking through past forums (you don't even have to make your own! Just looking through past ones) and looking for ones with similar questions to yours. If they're older forums, lots of people have probably replied to them with some helpful answers! : D For a character sheet, let me find one and I'll send it your way.





Alrighty, here we go! This is a general character page that a lot of people use to figure out what type of person their character is. It can be as detailed or bare-bones as you want it to be!

Spoiler! :
Name:

Age:

Gender:

Up For Love:

Appearance:

Personality:

Powers (if any):

Strengths:

Weaknesses:

Personal Quest/Goal:

Personal Secret:

History:

Other:




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