Young Writers Society

Hi Rivy. As one Autistic person to another, I understand that reading words, books, replies, and such are acutely frustrating, especially differentiating between the prime message because subtly escapes us. Therefore, I will be honest, direct, no sugarcoating. I think my approach will benefit you because I see there are reading comprehension difficulties. Comprehension is an annoyance for me as well. On to the review.

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1. Set your story aside. Literally, put this story away for the time being. Trust me, there’s methods to my madness. No, peeking. I told you, do not look at this story anymore. Set it aside.

2. Onto the next step. Worksheets. Specifically, character worksheets. Dude, these are fun, no sarcasm intended. It is time now to flesh out your characters and make them stand out on their own, individually.

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5. Print these two character sketch worksheets. If you have more than one character you want help on, print two more new pages and fill those in for the second character. Do not be afraid to ask for help from your parents or teachers if you do not understand something or need help coming up with ideas.

6. Let me know if those two worksheets helped with developing your characters.

Last but not least, I respectfully request, do not insist I reply immediately or demand I write a return reply with more words than I have written before. It is rude. I will reply when I find free time to do so. Cheers.

Hi BeingRivy,

Mailice here with a short review!

This is an interesting way to publish a work and I must say that I like the basic thread of the plot reasonably much. There is something exciting about it but also something dramatic and from what I have read, also something very amusing/humorous. I can imagine that there will be many moments where the story will revolve around the characters and also where it will be more about the plot itself.

I think you have already created a good guideline here to process a first idea and believe that you could now also start to write something from it. Above all, I like the abstract that occurs here, like the journey to the ISS, and I think that through this change and attempt to insert many different stylistic devices, you can create a story that could be exciting for every reader in some way, at least to take a brief look at it.

Most of all I like that you already have an ending and an idea of what it will look like. I like that it has a happy ending when there was so much drama and tragedy at the beginning.

But since we only have the plot here in a rough summary, I would advise you to start looking for ideas to connect these different means with ropes to answer the questions that arise (how did they get from point A to B). These are good places, for example, where you could work a bit on introducing the characters better and getting to know them better. I would also like you to maybe start (if this is an attempt to actually write this story) creating an overview with chapters and arcs so you always have a good sense of where you are in the story.

Because I can't tell exactly how big it's going to be yet, because we only have the first line going from top to bottom. I think if you add some subplots, you can make a lot more out of the story, like other characters who are more like side characters who are also looking for the ingredients, etc....

All in all, it's a very refreshing plot.

Have fun writing!

Mailice

Hey there! Plume here, with a review! And a belated welcome to YWS!

I really enjoyed reading this plot!! I think it has a lot of creativity in it, and I'd love to read it if you turned it into a more fleshed out story! I think it could work either as a novel/story or as a script, and I look forward to maybe seeing it on YWS someday!

One thing I really enjoyed was how original and creative this was! I don't think I've seen anything like it. While there are a few parts that could benefit from some cleaning up/elaboration, I think that your plot points had the distinct makings of a very fun story. Like the other comment said, I think this would definitely make a really great kids' show or something. It has enough whimsy and imagination to fit in with the best of the best. I think one of the most outstanding points was your villain plotline; I love the idea of a villain creating puppets out of people by keeping their bodies in suspended animation and keeping their voices and other qualities for the puppets. I thought that was a really nicely done plot point. Great work!!

One thing I wondered about was the overall sophistication. I think that there were some parts that were a little harder to understand; I think you could have done a better job at establishing the villain puppet girl thing, for one. It was a bit unclear how she got into that situation in the first place, and whether she was the villain, or if she was just cursed by the true villain in some way. The setting was also kind of unclear; it seems like it's a sort of sci-fi world, but it would be interesting if you clarified that. I'm also interested in what "adventures" they went on to find those ingredients they needed and what the details/logistics of their "ridiculous plan" to take down the villain was. It's okay if you don't know now; plotting stories takes time! Just some things to think about as you move forward!

Overall: great work!! I think this is a truly imaginative and unique idea, and I look forward to seeing where you go with it! Until next time!!

This is such an interesting and creative story idea, Rivy! I could definitely see it being a cartoon movie of some sorts. The first thing that pops into my head is the Phineas and Ferb movie, if you've ever seen that! It gives me Phineas and Ferb vibes in a way, which is awesome! Are you planning on writing this as a full-length book, or a short story, or are you saving it in your back pocket for now until you feel like you can tackle it? : )