When Melody opened her eyes she found herself looking into a pair of big, blue eyes that were wide on a round face and surrounded by heaps of white blond hair.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you.” The girl staring at her whispered, her voice barely loud enough for Melody to hear.
Melody fought to get up, her legs and arms felt heavy and moved sloppily. She could see that she had been changed into a nightgown, lavender with delicate lace edges. Melody grimaced a little.
“Let me help you.” The other girl put an arm around her and helped her sit up. “You were sleeping for so long! I was afraid you had died.” She aimlessly arranged her skirts properly and peeked up through her long, blond lashes. When Melody didn’t say anything, the girl continued, “You were sleeping for two days, you know. I don’t think that’s normal. You might be sick. You should stay laying down.”
Melody looked around the room, trying to see where she was. It was dark out; she could see out onto a balcony and the stars beyond it, but nothing looked familiar. The last thing she remembered was the table and food. Suddenly her eyes flew wide. “Mama!”
“If you’re talking about the lady Josephine, you don’t have to worry. She and Papa are out going for a walk.”
“Papa?” Melody looked at the girl who was sitting next to her, pretty in a pale pink nightgown.
The girl nodded. “My papa is Lord Tirragon. He really likes your mother.”
Melody stared at the girl for a moment. “You don’t look like Aiden.”
The girl ducked her head, hiding her face with her straight, blond hair. “I know. I look like my mama.”
“Where is your mama?”
“She died giving birth to me.” The girl looked up gravely. “Papa says that I’m just like her, I even have her illness. I not allowed out of bed.”
Melody thought she sounded proud, but who would be proud of not being able to get out of bed? Instead, she blinked around at the room. A single candle burned on the nightstand. “Why are you awake?”
“I can’t sleep sometimes. I stayed awake a whole week once.”
Melody looked back at the girl. “Is that part of the illness?”
“Papa says it is.”
Melody was feeling better. Her legs and arms weren’t as numb, and she slid off the bed to the floor. Her shoes weren’t on, but that wasn’t surprising since she had been changed into this nightgown. Upon further inspection Melody decided it must belong to the girl who had woken her. It was almost identical to the one she was wearing. “What’s your name?”
“Adaline. Papa said your name is Melody. I think that’s a pretty name. I wish my name was Melody. Where are you going?”
She looked back at Adaline, halfway to the balcony. “I want to see how far up we are.”
“Take me with you.” The other girl stretched out her hand, wiggling her fingers.
Melody went back to the bed and took Adaline’s hand. “You can’t walk?”
“Of course I can,” Adaline wiggled off the bed, “but not very far. My legs are too weak. Papa says that they’ll only get weaker the older I get. I’m twelve now. I imagine that it’ll be positively dreadful when I’m sixteen. I don’t know how I’ll ever find a husband. Papa said that I shouldn’t worry about that, but I do. I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t have a husband, but I don’t know anyone who would want to have a crippled and sickly wife.”
The two made their way to the balcony, Adaline chattering away about marriage. Melody had stopped listening and stared out at the distance. The sky seemed to stretch out over them like a great, sparkling dome that gently curved down to the mountains. She wondered if her father was up in the sky now, looking down at her. She wondered if he watched her mother and Aiden in the garden together. Melody leaned over and peered down at the ground below. They were at least three stories up. It would be hard for an enemy to climb up here and kidnap two girls.
“Get back from there!” Adaline whimpered, brought out of her chatter by fear for the other girl. “You might fall!”
“I’m not going to fall.” She swatted Adaline’s hand away from her and climbed onto the edge, sitting on it. “See? It’s wide enough. I bet I could lay backwards on it.”
“Oh, please don’t!” Adaline looked pale with fright. “If you fall Papa will be dreadful angry with me, and your mother would be very sad.”
Melody rolled her eyes at Adaline’s fright. “Oh, alright.” She slid off the edge and onto the safety of the balcony floor only to be caught in a tight hug. Adaline was clinging to her as if she herself had nearly fallen.
“What would I have done if you had fallen? Papa said to look out for you and you could’ve died! Then I’d never have a sister!”
“Sister?” Melody worked to untangle herself from the other girl, with no success. Finally she gave up and repeated, “What do you mean, sister?”
At that, Adaline pulled away, staring at Melody with her wide, blue eyes; tear streaks ran down her face. She quickly wiped her eyes and said, “You didn’t know? Papa is going to ask your mother to marry him! And then we’ll be sisters!” She beamed, but Melody couldn’t share her happiness.
Her mother was going to marry another man? She stared at Adaline in disbelief. That couldn’t be right, her mother loved their father. She wouldn’t marry this man, she couldn’t! Melody darted past Adaline and raced for the door, yanking it open and leaping out. She ran straight into Jasson.
The two tumbled to the ground in a heap of squeaks before Melody was able to say to Jasson tearfully, “Jasson! Mama is going to marry Aiden!”
He pushed her off of him and sat up. “No she’s not.”
“Yes she is, Jasson! Adaline told me so!”
“Adaline?”
Melody nodded, sniffling. “Aiden’s daughter.” She looked into the room where Adaline was stopped at the dresser to stare out at the two siblings.
Jasson looked in, saw her and stared. “She doesn’t look anything like him.”
“She says she looks like her mother.”
“If she has a mother then why would he be asking our mother to marry him?”
“Her mother is dead. She died giving birth.”
“Oh.” Jasson eyed the girl again before looking back at his sister.
“But that’s not important, Jasson! Now he’s going to marry our mother!”
“He’s not going to marry our mother.” Jasson scowled at his sister.
“How do you know?” She retorted, wiping her eyes and glaring at him.
“Because, we’re going to stop him.” He had set his mouth in the way that informed Melody he had come up with a plan.
“How do you intend to stop them? Mother never listens to us anymore anyway.” Melody wiped her eyes, frustrated with the tears she found there.
“Um. Excuse me?” Adaline’s polite voice broke through their conversation. She had made it to the door and stood clutching at the wall as she stared at them. “Why is it bad if my Papa marries your mother? Don’t you want a father? I’d really like a mother.”
Melody looked down, not wanting to say anything bad about Aiden to Adaline. She didn’t like him, but she didn’t have to tell Adaline that. Luckily, Jasson spoke up for her.
“We already have a father.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense.” Adaline protested. “Papa wouldn’t ask to marry your mother if she was married.”
“Our father died two months ago.” Jasson said, raising his chin. “Before he left, he made me the head of the household, and I say that my mother is not going to marry your father.” He stood up straight and marched away.
Melody knew he wanted her to follow. She wavered, looking at Adaline for a moment before whispering, “Sorry!” and running after him. She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to forget the bewildered, hurt expression in Adaline’s face, but she shook her head. She’d just have to apologize again later. They might not be sisters, but they could probably be friends. After all, it wasn’t Adaline’s fault that they didn’t like her father.
Jasson led her to a small shed outside and closed the door behind them. When he was certain that no one else was around, he crouched down and waved Melody over. “Alright. Look. I don’t like Aiden, and I know you don’t like him either, but in order to get our mother to not like him we have to make him look bad.”
“How are we going to do that?” Melody plopped herself next to him.
“There really is only one way.” He looked up at her, serious. “We have to find evidence against him.”
End of chapter
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I can say that the first chapter was better. There they seemed more like kids, but here Jasson speaks like an adult in the end. Children would have probably made some mischief to make him look bad or make him angry om purpose.
Adaline looked older than Melody, discussing marriage and all...
There aren't many things happening here and I'm still uncertain about siblings' age. If I am allowed to make suggestions, I would like you to clarify it as soon as possible, but it's up to you.
Well, I'll keep reading, lets see what will happen next.
It's me again ^^
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I can't say I have anything but good to tell about this part - I liked Melody just as much as in the first chapter, though now she seemed a bit older. Or maybe that's because Adaline seemed younger to me than Melody.
She has that cute unhappy-rich-girl look, and I somehow see her as younger than Melody (though I don't know what will be her role and what is her history, nor about your reasons for making her 12) The "I wish my name was Melody" sentence reminded me of a kid I knew, so perhaps that did a part of judging too.. Yet she's rather serious about her illness, and that doesn't seem to be told by such a little girl (I saw her as around 7 or
The dialogues I like very much, they seem very natural to me, i can i agine them being spoken.. and I like how Jasson and Melody go along well with each other, instead of fighting or him trying to send her away because she's younger all the time, as that tends to be rather popular in stories.
Maybe, and that's because I know of Melody's worries about defense and their safety, I miss a part in which she states she thinks that sleep was strange (perhaps just a "How comes that..?" or some similar, maybe even unfinished thought before she widens her eyes and calls for her mom?)
Aria