Young Writers Society

Text version:

Hello, there! Avi speaking
First, I adore the truth in this poem: that it is practically unacceptable by society's standards to truly love oneself. Narcissus is made to be seen as self-absorbed and a warning about the consequences of loving oneself. The gods and society don't take kindly to people loving themselves over them/it.
Second,
"I will forever ponder the feeling
of being cursed with a gaze of remorseless vanity—
the gods have warned us long ago that those who look and love
are those who are frowned upon and damned."
This is beautiful and reflects my first point so well. Your writing is gorgeous, and I can't click the follow button fast enough.
Third, let's just take a moment to reflect on that; "remorseless vanity". I would ask, "what does that mean to you?" but seeing as you are the poet who just wrote one of the most gorgeous pieces I've ever had the pleasure of reading (which is saying something because I practically breathe poetry), I suppose I'll have to ask that of myself and whoever else reads my review. This line reminds me of a puppet's strings being cut. The strings are symbolic, you see, of the puppeteer's control being invisible. A puppeteer can easily step into the view of the audience and manouever the puppet with their own (hopefully deft) hands. When you cut a puppet's strings, there really is no purpose to it. You expect it to mean independence, that the puppet is free, and I suppose that idea is the fault of the single story of Pinnochio (single story i.e. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's incredible TedTalk). The truth is, when you cut a puppet's strings, they fall limp until someone takes control of them again. A puppet is also made to be a mirror of life. And what is vanity and the story of Narcissus without a mirror? (Mirror i.e. a way to look at a reflection.) And, based on this truth, whoever dares to cut a puppet's strings must feel no remorse because they truly believe they are doing the right thing.
Anyway, I love this poem and I can't wait to read more of what you write!

I really like this! The first sentence "I wonder whag it would be like, then—" really captured my attention and interest! I also like the use of stylistic devices like the repetition of "to (gaze", "to(rise)". It adds to a poetic element. "Those who look and love are thkse who are frowned upon and damned" is a really great way to finish it off! It really made me reread everything again~ it's amazing!!!

I really like this! The first sentence "I wonder whag it would be like, then—" really captured my attention and interest! I also like the use of stylistic devices like the repetition of "to (gaze", "to(rise)". It adds to a poetic element. "Those who look and love are thkse who are frowned upon and damned" is a really great way to finish it off! It really made me reread everything again~ it's amazing!!!