I am the wind, the rain, the fury
of the night sky, the stars, the moon
that shines when the sun doesn't
I am the light, the shadows, the hurt
of the souls, the minds, the people
that die a little more each day
I am the unstoppable, the greatest, the noble
history of this perfect sphere called Earth
that has been my dollhouse from day one
but I am slow, I am thick, I am pain
that breaks all love
I can't protect, resist, defend;
for the cyclone likes to rip out hearts.
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140,646 Literary Works • 673,577 Reviews
Hey Auteur!
You have a fantastic last line! The problem is that it's the strongest line of the poem and your title. So I was expecting more.
I think it would be cooler if you can start off with that one line and then describe how the cyclone rips out hearts, making it as gory as you can stand. Because, let's face it... describing how mean a cyclone is isn't as effective as showing us exactly how it tears up hearts.
Good luck!
I love your poem it was beautiful, but i do see how,
"I can't protect, resist, defend
for the cyclone likes to rip out hearts."
relates to the rest of the poem. They all seem to be about what you can do adding a what you can not do at the end ruin the whole fun
I love it!
Its Brilliant!
So deep!
It gets right down into you.
Fantastic!
xx
(its Kayla btw)
smexay