My Superman

It wasn't bad, bittersweet. I couldn't but feel as if I were talking about MY Superman.

I really liked this. It was kind of sad, and definitely made me feel of lost love. I agree with the fact that you should try and make this into a song. I'd love to hear how this would sound being sung. I loved the part where you said "I miss that you were only a walk away" - HOWEVER, might I suggest saying "I miss that you were only a step away"? It makes it sound like he's closer. A walk is unmeasurable in a piece like this; a step seems very close. Great job overall!

Very sweet i thought the only real part that i didn't like was "Blue-green eyes the size of stones" just the stones is'nt all that descriptive. Good job though! Keep writing !

This was a very sweet poem. It was so cute and sweet and wonderful. It put butterflies in my stomach. Great job, love.

Ndaww thank you guys! And rothwise, "My lips?" was like, a sort of... questioning thing. Like, doubting if his lips were going to be mine, so to speak but thanks for the review also ^^

Hey, I though it was a really nice and sweet poem, I really liked that you called him superman, because, aside from what the poem says, you give away he was your hero and protector, really honest. I really liked it

Very sweet poem, and I really enjoyed reading it. I just want to point out little grammatical errors for you is all.

I miss you.
I miss knowing you were only a walk away.
I miss being able to wake up and see your face.
Your lovely face.
Blue-green eyes the size of stones. No period, just replace it with a semi-colon
Your crooked smile.
And a kiss from those soft, pink lips.
My lips? Slightly confused by "my lips?" but if it makes sense to you and the meaning of the poem, we're okay on that

I miss you.
I miss hearing your voice. Once again, just change the period to a semi-colon
So close to my ear it hurt.
Whispers of reassurance. Instead of a period, put a comma just to make it flow better off the tongue
"I love you,"
"No you don't,"
"Yes I do."
I miss your laugh,
how I would make you laugh.

I miss you.
I miss your touch.
Ticklish, tingling, warm.
I miss feeling your body next to me.
Your arms wrapped around me.
Heads touching as we slept.
I miss how safe you made me feel.
I miss knowing you could save me.
My superman. Since you're using the name "Superman", capitalize it

I miss you.

Whispers of reassurance.
"I love you,"
"No you don't,"
"Yes I do."

Hey Auteur,

So apparently, you suck at writing poems...sure. Haha, this was absolutely stunning! One thing I will say is, please be open to constructive criticism, I wouldn't really worry about people "tearing it apart", because most people have really great things to say, so be open to it. But, I have no constructive criticism anyway, so well done.

I loved the detailed emotion and feeling in this, it was so simple yet felt very meaningful and not half-empty. I think it makes perfect sense (to whoever said it didn't), and I honestly wouldn't change much myself. It was also the perfect length, and you said everything you wanted to say, without the poem being too long!

Easy, simple, yet a very meaningful and heart-felt piece! Best wishes for future writing!

RedLeaf

Aww, thank you! ^ Haha

'Twas a very honest and sweet poem. I just love the word choice , and the description of the guy. I could really see those "Blue-green eyes the size of stones."
I don't really know what to say.. It's a simple poem, that brings up a lot of emotion, and probably the sweetest one I've red so far.
Good job!
*bows*

Haha PaperNessa, it's because the guy I'm talking about lives near me. Not with me... hahaha. Thanks for the comment anyways ^~^ Same to you Geronimo.

Auteur wrote:I miss you.
I miss knowing you were only a walk away.
I miss being able to wake up and see your face.
Your lovely face.
Blue-green eyes the size of stones.
Your crooked smile.
And a kiss from those soft, pink lips.
My lips?

I miss you.
I miss hearing your voice.
So close to my ear it hurt.
Whispers of reassurance.
"I love you,"
"No you don't,"
"Yes I do."
I miss your laugh,
how I would make you laugh.

I miss you.
I miss your touch.
Ticklish, tingling, warm.
I miss feeling your body next to me.
Your arms wrapped around me.
Heads touching as we slept.
I miss how safe you made me feel.
I miss knowing you could save me.
My superman.

I miss you.


---

Um. Yah.. Just some feelings :} I really suck at writing poems, and I think this is pretty good for me. Haha, please don't tear it apart. Just tell me what you think of it. If you like it.

umm, i liked this. it was sweet and sounded nice.
only thing:

I miss knowing you were only a walk away.