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140,546 Literary Works • 673,419 Reviews
I thought this was a neat little quirky kind of poem. It's nice to see something that's not the same old serious dark stuff or whatever. I think you could have a worked a little bit more on word choice. Some of them just seem kind of boring dull. I do like the way it flows though, without having any particular structure (I pretty much do the same thing with all my poetry).
I like it i thought it was good. and yes hairspray IS very different from pot. lol
Hello Attolia!
Yes, this did make me laugh, but I wasn't laughing at you! lol, I thought this was cute, so much poetry is depressing and intense, but this was just like a breath of air. It's light poetry and I like that. My favorite was probably hairspray, I like that you just let your mind wander and said whatever you wanted.
^that was the best lmao.
With these two poems, it kind of pokes fun at poetry, but in a good way.
-SodapopLunchbox
First of all, I want to say, if you haven't been writing poetry before, don't expect masterpieces. It took me forever to be even remotely okay with the poetry I made. Second- for a first attempt, I think this was quite decent. However, I would try to make it more poetic. This is prose in a poem structure. Don't state facts in a bland manner, but create a rhythm, a flow. Be creative with it. Don't be stiff, let loose, just write thoughts as they come. I noticed that you did this a bit in "Hairspray", but I would encourage you to do it even more.