ORWEO (Working Title) 2.1

Chapter 2.1

A/N: Previously, Skylar and Kiersten have infiltrated the building, grabbed the files they needed, and are now trying to escape the building before they are caught. Skylar and Kiersten have pulled ahead of Darien and Issac. Issac has been injured, so Darien is carrying him on his back. Enjoy!

Skylar rounded the corner to see the group of employees besieging Darien with common office supplies like staplers, hole punchers, and every other dangerous blunt object they could have found. Skylar ran through and found Darien bleeding from a hit to his forehead, and she drew her blaster and started to fire at people closest to her. Upon hearing the gunshots, despite the silencer, the crowd began to disperse. Skylar ran through the crowd, pushing people out of her way, and helped pull Darien through the masses of people. "You're bleeding," she noted, and Darien shook his head gently.

"It's not a deep cut. I'll be fine. We need to get Issac out of here." He motioned to Issac, whose grip on Darien's neck had loosened tremendously and he was beginning to toss around. Sweat glistened on his olive skin, and Skylar winced at how quickly he was declining. They would have to move fast.

Skylar led them back to Kiersten, who had been keeping a diligent lookout, her hands clenched around her gun. "About time you showed up. I'm getting nervous. HQ says to take this left, follow the hallway, and then turn right, and the door will be on our left."

Skylar nodded. "Let's go."

The four of them took off at a gentler jog than they had, their lesson learned. Darien wiped the blood off his face with his sleeve but only succeeded in creating a streak of blood across his left temple. A single shot echoed down the hallway, and they picked up the pace. Skylar let Darien run in front of her and twisted around, firing a round in the direction that it had come from. They were so close to the exit, it wasn't worth taking a stand; all they had to do was make it a little bit further, find cover, and then take inventory.

The files were still safely tucked under Kiersten's arm; Issac was still positioned, however loosely, on Skylar's back; so far, the mission had been a success in the technical sense of the word. They had done everything they needed to do and handled everything professionally, but Skylar still felt a sinking feeling in her chest when she glanced at the sorry state both Darien and Issac were in.

Kiersten pushed the door open and held it for them. Skylar fired one more round at the guards before the door slammed shut. They raced across the parking lot, weaving through the parked electric cars that most of the government workers had secured as part of their benefits packages. A few workers saw them and shouted, but they managed to steer clear of them. Miraculously, there were no security guards stationed in the parking lot, so the four could make their way outside the parking lot and then execute the second part of their plan.

All government buildings shared the same general layout: a massive building surrounded by a parking lot for all the employees, heavy security at all times, and a single entrance that was always guarded by at least two people, sometimes more.

"Kiersten and I can take them. Hang back," Skylar whispered to Darien, and Darien was too tired to protest. There were two stations for guards, one on either side of the road that led into and out of the building. Guards at this station had a reputation for slacking off on their duty; the temptation to take a quick nap overwhelmed many of them. It was rare for them to see any action, and even rarer for their supervisers to check on them anyway. Another fatal flaw in the set-up of the stations was the lack of visibility; the guards had been completely closed off from the outside surroundings by thick black walls. The only way they could see in or out was through two windows, one facing the road leading inside and one adjacent to that that faced the other station. Skylar and Kiersten approached from the building side, so neither guard station was able to see them. The two of them split up, drawing their guns and approaching from the back. They reached the doors at the same time, and after a quick count, both kicked open the doors and stormed inside. The more synchronized they were, the more chaos and disruption they could cause, giving them the greater advantage.

Unsurprisingly, the guard on duty inside Skylar's was dozing but jerked awake as soon as Skylar entered. Skylar hit him over the head with her gun, and he immediately slumped to the ground, unconscious. "My guard's taken care of. What next?" she whispered into her com device, serving as a report to both her HQ and to Kiersten.

There was a loud scream, the sound of some struggling, and then a gunshot, and Skylar winced but then saw Kiersten appear at the window. "Mine's taken care of too. No damage," she added, seeing Skylar's worry.

"Excellent work. You're clear to make your getaway now. Remember your path back to HQ, and make sure to keep an eye out for anyone tailing you."

"Copy that," Skylar and Kiersten said in unison. They both stepped out of their respective stations and regrouped where Darien and Issac were standing.

Issac was paler than he had been when they had first seen him. Blood was still trickling out of Darien's head wound, but when Kiersten tried to touch it, Darien shrugged it off. "Worry about Issac, not me," was all he would say, but Skylar noted Darien's clenched teeth.

Issac was steadily declining. In addition to his paleness, he was beginning to drool and the makeshift bandage was soaked with his blood.

"He's losing a lot of blood," Kiersten whispered, and Darien nodded grimly. "We'll have to move quickly."

"Let's get to it, then," Darien said, his voice short. Kiersten and Skylar looked at him in surprise but obliged, both of them starting off at a gentle jog.

"You can't carry Issac on your back. He draws too much attention as is," Skylar whispered, and Darien sighed.

"Then what are we supposed to do? He can't walk on his own. I don't think we could force him if we tried without it being very obvious. We'll have to figure out another way."

"First, let's regroup and give a full report to HQ. What was the body count?"

"We don't have time!" Darien snapped. "Issac is still bleeding, which isn't a good sign. That means there's a good chance the wound is infected, and the more blood he loses, the worse shape he'll be in. We need to get him into surgery as soon as we can if we want him to survive."

Kiersten glanced up. "I have an idea." 

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
Toboldlygo
Review

I really appreciate how you have a summary of your previously published chapters at the top of the story! It really makes it much easier for people to read your story, especially as you continue to publish chapters. It's hard to catch up on 18 chapters or so, so it's great that you do this!

In the first paragraph, Skylar draws her blaster, but then there are gunshots. When I hear the word blaster, I immediately think of Star Wars. Gunshots kinda break that mental image, because I expect there to be bright flashes of deadly light. Otherwise, I enjoyed the first paragraph, but this was a bit of a cognitive dissonance for me (and probably for other nerds out there, too).

This sentence here, "The four of them took off at a gentler jog than they had, their lesson learned," doesn't really make much sense to me. Since the last time they ran/jogged, it was a previous chapter, I think it would make sense to say something more descriptive of how quickly they're running, or even just leave it as a gentle job, so as not to draw more attention to themselves or something like that.

I am torn about the ending. On one hand, it creates suspense for the next chapter. On the other hand, it also is ending in the middle of a chapter, and is going to make it that much harder to pick it up next time. I'm not sure that it creates enough suspense to justify putting it as the end of the chapter; I think it would be better to hear the idea and plan and then end the chapter ready to enact it.

Overall, a great piece. You should be proud.

Toboldlygo

User avatar
Honora
Review
Honora wrote a review · Fri Feb 22, 2019 11:57 pm

Once again Tuck, you did an awesome job! Nothing confused me and it flowed well. The only thing that I noticed was this:
“The files were still safely tucked under Kiersten’s arm; Issac was still positioned, however loosely, on Skylar’s back; so far, the mission had been a success in the technical sense of the word.” I think that you mean to say “on Darien’s back” so it’s no big thing. The sentence itself was a bit choppy but it’s literally the only one I caught.
Good writing and I look forward to reading more...once again! ;)

Thanks so much for your review! I really appreciate your critique and I'm glad you're enjoying it so far!



Defeat has its lessons as well as victory.
— Pat Buchanan