As Bijal squinted at the animals he saw that many of them held fruits in their hands or had them clamped in their jaws. The animals had heart. A virtue that made for the will to survive. They weaved around civilians and climbed over stands as they fled from him and the others.
"Watch your fire!" came the Commander's voice from behind.
Bijal bit his lip. The Commander probably didn't truly care about whether the people in their way became a casualty. He just wanted a good public image, as if he could make his act of murder fade away.
Bijal increased the length of his strides. He did not want to be anywhere near the Commander. Number Five tripped and fell on his stomach a few paces in front of him. Bijal side stepped him and continued to run after the monkeys. Lightning dazzled the sky and thunder roared like a pride of lions.
It was only the cracks of automatic weapons that reminded him that he was being tasked with taking a part in extinction. He ground his teeth and cringed when a monkey's tiny body erupted in a spray of red and went limp on the ground. A single small purple fruit laid next to it.
"I'm dry!" Number Three said. He stopped and ejected his expended magazine.
As Bijal ran past he wondered what Number three had extinguished his ammunition on before the monkeys. Because surely he hadn't fired an entire thirty round clip while in a place swarming with civilians. He might never know. Questions did not have a place in the Order Keeping ranks, only obedience.
History rewound as Bijal dashed down the street. The buildings lost their pristine luster the deeper he penetrated the city. Bijal felt the urge to stop and taken in the harmonious ambiance that his surroundings seemed to radiant. With rain pouring around him, the old India was like a dream. It was as if it were never taken over by a dictator.
But a ruffled poster of the President plastered on a wall served as a warning that such thinking could cost him his freedom or even his life. Bijal coiled his fingers around his gun when the monkeys vanished into an alley. The animals had unknowingly cornered themselves. Because that alley only led to a circular opening where a fountain once spewed water. A twenty foot high wall blocked on the other side blocked any escape.
"We have them now!" Number Two said. His words made the other Order Keepers slow their pace until it was a brisk jog. They clearly knew that it was about to end soon.
"And they say those animals are our ancestors," the Commander said. "What an insult Darwin has made toward the human race."
Bijal shivered. He hoped it looked like it was from the frigid rain and not from his fear.
"Number Seven?" the Commander said.
Bijal did not look at the Commander nor did he slow down, but he said, "Yes Sir?"
"How do you feel about clean up?" he said coldly.
Bijal hesitated. "If that is what you ask of me than I shall see to it." He did not want to hear the Commander's answer and picked up his pace. He could see the vague outline of the monkey's silhouettes through the rain and shadow of the alley. Beyond them was the slaughter pit. But before they reached it some sprang onto pipes that slithered up the valley walls. They climbed up them with the speed of acrobats.
Monkeys that held fruit in their hands continued to run forward. A gun was fired once and a monkey plopped on the ground with a thud; chips of wall fragments poured down.
"They're getting away!" Number Five said as he scanned the walls with his gun.
Bijal craned his neck and saw tiny bouncing bodies along the roofs.
"Silence Number Five!" the Commander said. His gun went off and a monkey's agonized cry came from above. "Don't they know that this isn't their habitat?"
Just before the men ahead of him burst into the open the rain bore down down with a new furry. It was so fierce that it pressed down on his water proof hat. The prickling was enough to drive him mad. But Bijal ignored it and pushed forward. He stopped running completely and simply walked toward the other men who were still.
They were as still as statues. Bijal wondered what had made them halt in such a way. He had expected a clatter of gunshots to be tearing at his ears the moment they had reached this place. But the only sound was that of the storm.
"What are you expendables doing standing around?" The Commander demanded.
There was no response from the motionless men. The rain continued to pour on them, and yet, they did not stir. Bijal approached them and gazed down the circular floor at the end of the stairs. He gasped and loosened his painful grip on the gun. Below were two shivering bone thin children in raggedy clothes pressed up against a broken fountain. The smallest was a girl that could be no older than four. Beside her was a boy of about six, but it was impossible to be sure because he was so malnourished that he could have possibly been older. They were using the stretched out edges to shield themselves from the rain. But what astounded him was that the monkeys were around them, as if giving them warmth.
"You disappoint me," the Commander said, "all of you. Can't you follow a simple order?"
"Sir, you can't expect us to fire when their are children in proximity of the targets," Number Four said.
"Children who are already dead," the Commander said. "Look at them, they look like little ghosts."
"Sir," Bijal said. "Do you not have a heart?" Bijal blinked, feeling tears mix with the rain on his face.
"Every second that it beats, I wonder why there are so many like you," he said. "Now, you will all kill the animals or all of you will have to serve as your own attorneys back at HQ. But never forget, you're all just numbers. You have no real purpose other than to serve, and yet you fail."
"Look," Bijal said. He gestured to the surrounding buildings where tiny monkey heads peered out from roofs, and then finally their entire bodies were perched on the edges. They were all peering down at the fountain. One of them dropped a fruit and it landed a few feet from the two kids. Miraculously, it hadn't disintegrated the moment it struck the ground. Then the monkeys that were huddled around around the kids held out there fruits.
The children only looked at them with vacant stares. But then the small girl reached out and took one of their offerings. She turned it over in her hands as if it were the rarest of gem stones before she brought it to her mouth and took a bite. But she only took one, and handed it over to the boy. He shook his head and pointed to another monkey that was offering him another fruit.
Bijal fell on his knees as fruits rained down from the rooftops. He was witnessing one of humanity's greatest virtues play out in the animal kingdom. Compassion. It had been too long since he had seen or heard of anything but violence and death. But today, as the heavens weeped water and fruit, he could see that the world hadn't been completely purged in darkness. There was still hope.
Bijal closed his eyes and searched for bravery, and then he turned around. Walking into the distance was the Commander. Bijal bent his head and wept. But he felt no shame, for they were not tears of sorrow, but of happiness. Something that had only been heard of in history.
Bijal picked himself up off the ground, steadying himself on the shoulder of Number Six and turned to face the Commander one last time. The Commander stopped and did an about face turn and their eye's met. It was clear in the deep recesses of his pupils. Defeat. They stared into each other as the rain mercilessly pounded on them.
Bijal raised and hand and saluted his Commander. As much as he loathed the man, he knew that the Commander had not chosen his life for himself. The man had been raised in a life of deception. To him, humans, while the only form of life deemed to have the right to exist, only those that held power could choose for themselves. Everybody else was no more than a dog, bred only to follow orders. He snapped his head around and stalked off into the alley.
Bijal stared after him, watching him fade into the darkness. Bijal skimmed the ranks and noted that almost everyone had been watching the Commander.
"Where do you think he's going?" Number Four said, looking directly at him.
"He's searching for a place to hide," Bijal answered.
"What... do you mean, Number Seven?" Number Four said.
"Please, call me Bijal."
Number Four looked at him speculatively for a moment before nodding. "Bijal," he started, the word seeming to lodge in his throat. "What did you mean by he's looking for somewhere to hide?"
"The Commander fears his new perspective on life. He has seen what we are all capable of."
"But-" Number Six began.
"He is afraid of the inevitable," Bijal said as he directed his attention at the children who were eating away at the fruits offered by the monkeys as if it would be their last meal.
"The inevitable?" Number Four said in what was almost a whisper.
"Don't lie to yourself, you already understand what it means. You've just been fed so much propaganda that it's been buried. But if you desire to look for it, it will reveal itself."
Bijal released his hold on his gun and let it clatter on the wet ground. It was followed by a chorus of metallic thumps. Bijal did something that he couldn't remember doing since his youth. He smiled. It was a new feeling. Using muscles that were trained to be motionless. The Order Keeping Force seemed to pride itself on having expressionless soldiers who showed none of their own feelings. But today, he and his new true allies had defeated the system.
It was all thanks to his friends from the animal kingdom. The Commander had been conquered by the monkey's reaching out to the dying children. They had something he did not. The power to love.
"Let's go friends," Bijal said.
"Go where?" several mean asked at once.
"Make change by living life," he said before he tread to the alley, walking with a true purpose, not because he was ordered to march forward. It was such a wonderful feeling. Setting one foot in front of the other at his own will. He, the other men, and the monkeys had defeated the Dictator's system, but he still wielded the power. Bijal knew that the President would be ready to obliterate any resistance, but he wasn't afraid. Human virtues were mightier than any war machine.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello Aspiring!
A really moving end to your competition entry. I love it. I see now why the monkeys stealing the fruit was so significant.
I loved your description throughout this, I could really picture the poor malnourished children sheltering from the rain and the monkeys offering up their fruit to them. It really moved me. Just one thing:
I wasn't too sure what you meant by this. I think you meaning was a little lost and I wondered whether you had accidently typed the wrong word.
Other than this though I cannot fault it. Good luck, I hope you do well in the competition. You deserve it with this piece
Well Done,
Keep Writing,
~Lydia