*From the conclusion of Tears of Fruit*
"Rise up my friends!" the man shouted as he took in the crowd. "Take the tyrant off his throne!" "Return peace and-"
Before the man could say any more the Commander shot him in the face. The shot boomed louder than the thunder.
People squealed and quickly fled the scene; kicking up mud and water.
Tears of fruit (Part 2 begins)
Bijal trembled as adrenaline surged through him. He was so terrified about witnessing an execution that he felt the urge to vomit. Bijal swallowed back bile that was trickling up his throat and loosened his grip on his gun.
The Commander turned away from the body and swept his gaze through the squad. His dark brown eyes locked on the man beside Bijal. "Number Eight, give our vendor friend back his products."
Number Eight briskly walked toward the body and bent down. He flopped the dead man over on his back and quickly whipped away his bloodied muddy coat to retrieve the fruits in his inner pockets.
The man had only stolen four apples. Bijal felt like rushing over to the Commander and piercing his cold heart with his knife. How could the thievery of a mere four fruits that grew plentifully in trees justify execution? But then he took all the man's actions into account. He had resisted arrest and spoken back to a leader of an Order Keeping squadron. He had crossed the point of having any rights after that final and foolish decision.
"Vandals! Mischief makers!" a vendor howled.
The Commander immediately jerked his head in the direction of the commotion and Bijal held his breath. He did not want to be a witness to any more slaughter today.
"Furry thieves!" the man yelled.
Bijal, caught off guard by that new shout, turned to see who the screamer was. His mouth dropped open into an O. Monkeys were raiding vendors and snatching up fruits in their tiny hands. The men beside him were equally perplexed. He could tell by the awe in their eyes. Monkeys were believed to be extinct in this region of India. No longer had they been protected as being sacred animals. All religion had been outlawed by the new Government. It was considered beliefs that only made for conflict.
The monkeys brown fur was moist and had a human like luster. Their eyes, as black as storm clouds, flickered with intelligence. Bijal could not pry his own from theirs. He could not comprehend why the President had made it legal to slaughter them. So what if they stole fruit and occupied urban areas? They were only trying to survive. It was humans that were in their world.
"Shoot the animals!" the Commander barked.
Bijal and several other men only stared at him. How could he live with himself if he played a part in the extinction of a species? He raised his rifle anyway. Any sign that he was denying an order could result in prison time or unsurprisingly, public execution.
"You're clear to engage!" the Commander barked as his handgun went off. Melons in a crate that a monkey had been standing on became a pink mist as the bullet shredded through them. The gray haired man behind the stand cried out as he ducked for cover.
Concentrated crackles boomed left and right as the Order Keepers took aim at the monkeys. The animals were amazing agile and and just beyond the hit zones were mud erupted.
"Don't let the animals get away!" the Commander said, waving the men to pursue.
Bijal nodded along with the others and sprinted after the monkeys. The water pricked at his face like needles as he ran against it. He slowed down and raised his gun to eye level. As he peered through the sight he fired. He was hitting mud. He would not pull the trigger with such beautiful creatures in his sights.
-To be continued-
*Currently writing it*
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hey Aspiring,

Again a very nice piece. It really takes us deeper into the world of this New India
One typo I noticed that I'll point out to save you searching the piece for it:
'off' instead of, 'of'
The only problem I have with this is the fact that this seems a little repetitive, you have already shown someone stealing fruit and getting killed for it, and then you immediately show monkeys doing the exact same thing and getting hunted down for it. You could try and adjust the ideas a little bit, maybe the monkeys weren't stealing fruit. Maybe they were just scaring the public or something.
But overall well done, this was a nice short read. I can't wait for the next bit. Please PM me when you post it up
Well Done!
Keep Writing,
~Lydia
This isn't the end classy.

I could have sworn I told you that.
And hm, Bijal seems like a wimp? I think he's just being smart, just because he raises his gun doesn't mean he's going to-
Oh, I can't spoil anything...What would that make me? An abomination to the writing world.
Hai AAAM!
This is the end...? Seriously? I see no ending here. You leave me with so many questions, and there really isn't a conclusion, a resolution, or a climax! Bijal came to no realization, he just stayed the same way he has always been! Why?
I like stories with originality, but not stories that don't have an end! Your concept is so amazing, I really think you should continue this and come with a real ending. I am happy that your title makes more sense to me now, though.
All in all, I really think you should write more! It made me so mad when he raised his rifle anyways.
Okay I just sat and argued with myself for a minute. I suppose it's kind of practical that he keeps his rifle up. It proves once and for all that he's a wimp. So good job with sticking to your character...
I think your story needs to come to some sort of resolution, though. At least say whether the monkeys live or die!
Keep writing,
Classy.