Published August 2, 2026
Yes, I have loved a rose so much,
I have pressed against its thorn.
Her thorn has pierced my flesh and bones,
and has made me weep and groan.
Her velvet reds have caught my eye,
so have her greens and browns.
I see her almost bloom with love,
though, at me, she frowns.
I've stood there silent all the nights
to see her dance in dew.
I've rued my life when wind loved her,
for I did love her too.
She almost slipped away from me.
I tried to hold her back,
but the longer she remained with me,
the more she withered black.
I bled for her, all night, all day.
I waited every dawn,
but now she's yours, because on you,
she'll ne'er've to use her thorn.
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137,367 Literary Works • 671,980 Reviews
Hi AshenVeil! Welcome to YWS and wonderful poem! I see you've gotten some really nice reviews already, so I will keep mine short.
I really love the title of this poem. It feels intriguing and hooks the audience, and has a sense of loveliness and elegance to it (as all things roses tend to). Throughout the poem, it's clear that this piece works as a love poem, but the subject, the "you" of the poem, is someone else. That creates a dynamic relationship between narrator, the rose, and "you" that makes the poem feel like a story. It also is revealed that this poem is more on the somber tone, creating a sense of suspense ad heartache, and betrayal in a way because the rose has hurt the narrator yet they continue to love profusely, even though the love is one-sided. At the end of the poem, it is shown that the rose has chosen someone else, the "you", which leaves the poem on both a sad, and somewhat bitter, tone.
You did very well with carrying the image of the rose throughout the poem. You use it as a metaphor for a person, yet you expand on the images of the rose , which makes the motif not feel so stagnant. You use strong language such as "pierced", "dew", "withered", and "bled" creating a gothic tone to the poem, which I really love.
You keep the lines and stanzas length consistent, and use good end-punctuation. This makes the poem clean, direct, and consistent. I believe it serves it's purpose well in this poem, to compliment the storytelling elements of the poem and to not distract from the rhyme and emotional impact of the piece.
There's a lot of ways a writer can use roses as a metaphor, and I love how you used it in this piece.
Great poem! Hope to see more work from you soon!
Hello Ashen! And welcome to YWS!
The rose is a good example of an image that stays the same through the whole poem, and I really liked how the emotions changed from love to regret to acceptance.
This is my favorite stanza:
This is the emotional core of the poem for me. Sometimes being very possessive of people just makes them suffer even more.
The only thing that could have been better is the rhythm of the last line, because I thought it was slightly less rhythmic than the others. In general, however, it is a beautiful poem. I look forward to reading more of your works!
Thank you ehawthorne for the warm welcome!
Happy that you resonate with the idea of the poem!
Hi Ashen! Welcome to YWS!
This is a lovely poem with effective imagery and tight rhythm. It flows extremely well from one line to the next with no awkward pauses or flubs on the tongue.
Great use of imagery here. It's both visually striking but plays a big part in conveying the overall sorrow the narrator feels.
I love this stanza so much. Really shows that the narrator is not right for her, and is actively hurting her, but they have the self-reflection to realize it.
I don't see this contraction used much (if ever) in contemporary poetry, so I love to see it! However, it does feel slightly awkward to read. It may help to split it in two and just say "ne'er have to use her thorn." It still keeps the rhyme scheme, but the reader isn't stumbling as much.
Lovely poem! Hope to read more from you!
Hi Valkyria! Thank you for your valuable comments!
Hi! Welcome to YWS!
This is a really nice poem with nice imagery and emotion running through it. It's very melancholic and has a vivid metaphor of the rose as a self-sacrifice. Your rhyme scheme seems to be ABCB, where in every stanza the second and fourth lines rhyme, which is nice and gives it a good rhythm. One thing I noticed, though, is that in this first stanza
Thorn and groan don't rhyme, at least not in my accent! It threw me off a little, where the rest of the rhyme scheme works well and is consistent. It fits with the rhythm but maybe you could change the line a little to make it fit?
I love this use of 'ne'er've' because I rarely ever see this double contraction used! however, I think its a pain to say and you've not used any similar language to I think it fits in the rhythm a bit beter to just say 'she'll never have to use her thorn'
I enjoyed this poem, I hope you continue to post more in the future!
Thank you for your genuine evaluation of the poem!
Yes, you are completely right! I had to maintain the rhyming scheme, but I decided to preserve the tone of the poem instead, so that it creates a consistent mood for the reader.
And I was just experimenting with the use of contractions in "ne'er've" !
Thank you for your review again !!