z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

​Project Charon

by ArgensVentus


Project Charon

Initializing, please stand by.

Psyche reconstruction complete. Homunculus 1.0 active. Heartrate normal. Blood pressure normal. Pupil dilation responsive. Begin interview.

“Where…where am I? What’s going on?”

He sat on the seat across from me, a bit scared but otherwise unharmed with no sign of his previous damage. Gods, this was a miracle.

“Calm down Julius, it’s alright. It’s me, Mark.” Julius finally turned his gaze towards me while a spark of recognition flickered in his eyes. Good, no memory damage. That’s a relief.

“Marcus? What’s going on? What happened to the car?” Julius said with a look of confusion on his face.

“Everything’s alright, just take a breath and slow down. What’s the last thing you remember?”

The two brows on his forehead furrowed together, in the way that he always did when he tried to concentrate on something. “We were…driving. Yeah, wait no, you were driving. I was in the passenger seat.

“We were on Route 66. You were going past the speed limit. I kept warning you not to, but you just laughed and said it was fine and said to trust you.

Then…we crashed. Some truck hit us from the right. I was bleeding out when the paramedics came and…wait…” He leaps out of his chair, with pupils brimming with realization. “I…died.”

“Yes, you did,” I said somberly. “I’m sorry.” I put on my best reassuring smile, but from his reaction, it seemed more half-assed than reassuring. “But we’ve managed to bring you back! With our new system, we’ve finally figured out how to bring people back after brain activity has ceased!”

Julius just stared at me for a moment, a look of incredulity splattered on his face. “What?”

“I know it’s a lot to take in, but you’re okay now. That’s all that matters.” I gestured for him to sit back down. As he did, I noticed for the first time how skinny his arms were, and how fragile his whole frame was. He looked like he could collapse at any moment. The sustainment tube was not great for developing a healthy physique, but hey. If Julius could convince me to get into exercise, he’ll have no trouble…

“There was a man.” His voice interrupts my thoughts with a seemingly random statement.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I saw a man, standing on the shore of a black river. On the other side, there was an island surrounded by an unending golden light to the east. To the west, there was a red glow infused with the smell of sulfur. He gestured to me to get onto the boat to cross to the other side.”

“Julius, you’re not making any sense. Where did you see this man? When did this happen? We never went anywhere like what you described, and you never mentioned anything like this.”

Instead of answering, Julian just continued staring at the ground in front of him, his gaze becoming drifting further away. “He said that it was going to be okay, that I was going to be okay. So I got on, and then…”

“Julius? Hey, Julius!”

Without warning, Julius collapsed onto the floor and begins to dry-heave. I scampered out of my seat to check on him, but it was immediately clear that something was wrong. His mouth was foaming white, and his arms kept flailing out, nearly hitting me in the face as I tried to hold him down.

“Somebody get the ward doctor in here immediately!”

Homunculus 1.0: died due to unidentified complications.

Psyche reconstruction complete. Homunculus 2.0 active. Heartrate normal. Blood pressure above average. Pupil dilation responsive. Begin interview.

“Julius? Julius! Can you hear me?”

He was sitting quietly on the chair, back straight and poised. But something was wrong. His eyes were distant and glazed. His gaze wouldn’t meet mine and instead kept wandering around the room, as if he was searching for something without knowing what he was looking for. One might have mistaken him for a daydreamer. I rechecked the medical examination from before: results showed no signs of brain damage. What’s going on?

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally turned to face me. “Yes?”

I released a breath I didn’t know I held. I quickly recomposed myself and picked up my notebook to resume the interview. “Hello, Julius. What is the last thing you remember?”

He turned towards me with a frown. “Who’s Julius?”

Homunculus 2.0: terminated

Psyche reconstruction complete. Homunculus 3.0 active. Heartrate high. Blood pressure high. Pupil dilation erratic. Begin interview.

Something was definitely wrong this time. The instant that Julius entered the room, he kept clawing at his chest. As he looked up at me, his eyes seemed almost pleading.

“Marcus? What’s going on?”

“It’s alright Julius. What’s the last thing you remember?”

Instead of answering, Julius simply groaned, bending over as if he were about to fall out of his seat at any moment. “It hurts.”

Dammit, why was this happening? The diagram did show high levels of circulatory activity, but nothing life-threatening or dangerous. What’s going on?

“MARCUS” Julius collapsed out of the chair, clawing at his throat as if he was trying to rip it out. I rushed over to him, trying to pull him up, or off, or anything, but his hand was like a vice. The skin around his neck was turning red; he was crushing his own throat. Oh Christ, why is this happening? Why won’t this damnable project work?

“Marcus, please, make it stop.”

Homunculus 3.0: terminated.

Psyche reconstruction complete. Homunculus 4.0 active. Heartrate normal. Blood pressure normal. Pupil dilation responsive. Begin interview.“Hello, Julius. Can you hear me?”

“How much longer do you wish to torment him?” The man before me answers almost immediately.

“I…what?”

Unlike the last few subjects, this last iteration had practically no physical anomalies detected. I had hoped that it would finally succeed, but something was wrong. The way that he held himself, the way that he talked, and the way that he looked at me, it was clear that this was not Julius. This was someone else controlling his body.

“I said, how much longer do you wish to torment this poor soul? He’s meant to rest, and you keep pulling him back out. It’s a pain having to ferry the same man back again and again, especially since less of him returns each time.”

A sudden realization struck me. “You’re the man on the boat, aren’t you? The one Julius saw when he died.”

He gave an unnerving grin. It was creepily unnatural, as if he learned by watching others smile. Whatever was behind it was not human.

“But…that’s impossible.”

“Says the person trying to bring the dead back to life. I must say, your progress is very impressive, but you really need to focus your skills elsewhere. You’ll see no progress in this manner because, well…” He gestures to himself with a casual wave of his hand. Julian’s hand. “…I can’t allow that to happen.”

“Give him back to me.”

“No.”

“The entire building is under my jurisdiction. You can’t escape.”

The man rolled his eyes with a look of amused annoyance. “And who says I want to escape? You can’t force me revive your friend here either.” He leans forward and gives a smile that sends cold shivers down my spine. “All you can do now is wait for this body—your friend’s body—to die again.”

“Please, I’ll give you whatever you want. Just name your price.”

“You have nothing that I want. The only thing that remotely interests me will be mine anyway if I just wait another few decades.”

“Please, just let this work. Just give him another few years. He’s too young to go.”

“Tell that to the millions of stillborn children I ferry across every year. They don’t complain. In fact, they’re the most eager ones. Even after I show them what they missed, they all agree that the afterlife is better.”

“He couldn’t even say goodbye! He has a girlfriend, a mother, a father, and three siblings. He was supposed to propose in a month! I already went with him to pick out the ring for Cleo and everything! So many others return, why can’t he? Please, just give him back to me!”

“No.”

I stared. I just stared at him for what seems like forever and a bit more. He’s gone. My best friend is gone. I caused his death, I failed at his revival, and now he’s gone forever.

The man quietly got up and puts a hand on his shoulder. As I turned towards him, his demeanor shifts from uncaring to sympathetic for just a single moment. “I’m sorry for your loss. Truly, I am. But I cannot return him, so please just let him rest. He deserves that much, at least.”

Homunculus 4.0: terminated.

Psyche reconstruction complete. Homunculus 5.0 active. Heartrate extremely slow. Blood pressure low. Pupil dilation unresponsive. Begin interview.

“Julius, can you hear me?”

No response.

“Julius, please. Say something.”

No response.

“Julius, look. I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have done what I did, I shouldn’t have been so stupid, and I shouldn’t have dragged you into it. I should’ve been more careful. You should’ve lived.”

No response.

“Come on, man. Cleo’s waiting for you. You don’t want to make her wait, do you? She’s going to beat the crap out of you if you don’t come back and apologize for leaving her alone for so long.”

No response.

“Remember that time we pretended to forget your anniversary? You and I ditched, saying we had plans to go paintballing. Man, she would’ve killed us if we didn’t pick up the roses on the way back. Do you remember that?”

No response. He just faced forward without even moving a single muscle, like a statue. A droplet of drool leaked from the corner of his mouth. I pulled out a tissue from my coat pocket to wipe the saliva off. As vision was beginning to blur, I grabbed another tissue for my eyes. “Julius, can you hear me? Please, say something.”

No response.

Homunculus 5.0: terminated


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120 Reviews


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Mon Jun 15, 2020 12:50 pm
Overwatchful says...



This story is amazing! The only thing I would correct is your verb tenses. Began instead of begin, answered instead of answers. But otherwise, you mixed Greek
mythology and futuristic science very well.




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Tue Jun 09, 2020 2:47 pm
starlitmind wrote a review...



Hey there!
As everyone has said before, this is an amazing story! Your plot is so unique, and your title is intriguing, along with your first couple of lines, which brought me to read this. This is a great piece of work, good job! I noticed a few grammar things which I will point out below.

Heartrate normal.
It should be "Heart rate" - It is two words.

Then…we crashed. Some truck hit us from the right. I was bleeding out when the paramedics came and…wait…” He leaps out of his chair, with pupils brimming with realization. “I…died.”
With the multi-pargraph quote, I think you need quotations at the beginning of this paragraph.

Without warning, Julius collapsed onto the floor and begins to dry-heave.
It should be "began" instead of "begins" since you are in the past tense.

“MARCUS” Julius collapsed out of the chair,
You need some punctuation after MARCUS, whether that be a comma or an exclamation mark.

The man before me answers almost immediately.
It's past tense, so "answered" instead of "answers"

He gestures to himself with a casual wave of his hand. Julian’s hand.
I think you meant Julius's hand.

The man quietly got up and puts a hand on his shoulder.
Who's shoulder does the man put his hand on? Marcus? If so, it should be "my shoulder."

I love the ending! This was such a good story, and I hoped my review helped :)




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Tue Jun 09, 2020 11:34 am
Shadeflame wrote a review...



Hi ArgensVentus! I'm Shade here to do a review!

This is a great story. I don't normally like science fiction, but wow. Your story blew me away. I loved the fact that you mixed some Greek Mythology in there too. The pacing of the story was great and the plot was fantastic.
I just noticed a few little errors though, so I'm going to point them out.

Instead of answering, Julian just continued staring at the ground in front of him, his gaze becoming drifting further away. “He said that it was going to be okay, that I was going to be okay. So I got on, and then…”

You called the man "Julian" here, but in every other spot you called him "Julius."

As my vision was beginning to blur, I grabbed another tissue for my eyes. “Julius, can you hear me? Please, say something.”

I think you should add a "my" in there.

I'm sorry that I wasn't able to review your story very well, because it's so good.
Keep writing
-Shade




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Mon Jun 08, 2020 12:38 am
Haraya wrote a review...



Hi there! Haraya here with my review for your work.

Honestly, I have nothing but admiration for this work. Everything was clear. The way you built up the tension was perfect. Everything was vivid. The conflict between the ferryman and Marcus was believable. Their dialogue was intriguing. The theme of how bringing back the dead opposes nature is handled really well. And that ending! It left a pang of guilt! This is one of the best works I've read here in this site and I already recommended it on my wall.

I don't think I could point out what's wrong in this work because none of it seems out of place.

I could go on and on about how much your work amazed me, but I guess the point has come across. Your storytelling is impeccable! Once again, congratulations on your wonderful work. I'll be looking forward for more!




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Mon Jun 08, 2020 12:30 am
IamI wrote a review...



Hello. This is my review.

The issue with reviewing stories as good as this one is that I find my self unable to come up with any criticisms. I ran into this same problem with @Liminality ‘s excellent short story ‘The Writer’, where I found myself slapping my hands against the sides of my legs and sighing exasperatedly. What can I do to make it better? What’s the point in writing pure praise? No one gains from that. These are important questions, certainly; but who cares? I saw this and I’ve had a bunch rambling locked up for a while so let’s get going on this largely praising, overly verbose, and largely pointless review shall we?

The bad.

At risk of sounding like a poor reader, I must mention the fact that I found the names difficult to follow, and only really got a handle on them near the end. There is also a point where you switch into present tense, but I couldn’t find it when I looked over again, so maybe just look out for that if you ever go revising. The third and final criticism I have is a logic thing that you could easily be forgiven for: you say they were on Route 66, the issue with that is two fold. The first issue is that Route 66 is incredibly long; it goes from Chicago to California, and it is largely rural, which ties into the second (and more pressing) issue: Route 66 is largely disused now, its mostly just a tourist attraction (series of attractions, rather). I would suggest just saying “the highway.” And leave it at that, we don’t really need specific geography.

The good

This story is terrifying and haunting and powerful. And one of the reasons I think it is is because you’re topic, and the main conflict, is death. The greater portion of humanity has always been afraid of death, I think (I have no evidence for this, but since most religions (most European ones, anyway) have at least some form of afterlife, I don’t think it would be too great a leap to assume such a thing); and it’s not hard to understand why. Death is the end, the end of everything we know, and all we know about death is that we’re effectively gone, everything we’ve ever done could simply fade out of memory. This is all pretentious philosophical nonsense, so I’ll get to the point: you play upon this fear of death and our desire to prevent or reverse it perfectly. The way you end this story is probably one of the most powerful endings I’ve read. The ending affirms the fear and hopelessness the story has provoked in the reader, leaving us (or me, at any rate) with a hollow kind of dread. The way this story is structured (as a series of interviews with a reconstructed consciousness (the name ‘humonculous’ was an excellent little touch by the way)) sets up this ending perfectly. The story also is balanced; it’s dark, but not so cartoonishly so that it looses all gravity.

All in all this was a fantastic piece and I hope to read more of your work.

That was my review. Goodbye.




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Mon Jun 08, 2020 12:29 am
brotherGeo wrote a review...



Damn this is great.
I really like the concept, it is really interesting. I love the idea of the Ferryman resisting the Homunculus. When the Ferryman spoke as Julius it sent chills down my spine. this is really good i cant explain that enough. The story is laid out really well, and the wording is excellent. The grammar was also good as far as i can tell. You probably need a more experienced person to review this i only joined a few weeks ago. the only thing i did notice was that the character could use some description for their faces. The character description is great, don't get me wrong. i just didn't notice much face description. Other than that Its an amazing short story. I am looking forward to seeing more of your works. And just by reading this, I reckon your going to be writing even more amazing content.
cant wait to see more!
Thanks




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Mon Jun 08, 2020 12:23 am
Haraya says...



Wow, this was amazing. I genuinely felt the suspense! Congratulations on such a wonderful work!





Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
— Plato