The riots have started tonight,
And I can never realise why it does.
For the protest has turned into violence;
A peaceful silence has transformed
Into a blood curdling roar.
The riots have begun again,
And I cannot get to sleep.
The smell of burnt cars and shops;
The average working class day
Is now a million miles away.
The riots have left their mark,
So we can never recover.
The opportunity has been handed,
To the beasts and to the idiots,
On a silver platter
The riots have started tonight,
Not because of a policeman's mistake.
It is the ultimate excuse for those,
Impatient and always carefully waiting,
To let human nature unleash.
The riots may never end,
As the endless nights catch up.
All those businesses destroyed;
The politicians are abroad.
The irony has kicked in.
The riots have claimed a life,
And the police stand their ground.
The temptation in their eyes,
I want to fucking kill him!but Lord knows it's not correct.
The riots say it all;
There are people like that.
Youth transformed into crime,
And innocence now stained.
"You're under arrest son."
The riots are an epilogue
Of youth and morality.
Laughing at the fire,
The factories collapse.
Is it always like this?
The riots continue outside;
The deconstruction of hearts.
I have never seen such idiocy,
Such normal people turning
Into hyenas in the night.
The riots will go on
Until the day they realise
That life isn't about violence,
Nor is it about power.
That will only matter in the end.
Well... I remember this. And I love the fact it is so topical. You have really tapped into something here. I like that.
Favourite line: 'That life isn't about violence,
Nor is it about power.' But don't realise this in the moment do they?
You know that... and I think you understand this. Lovely piece.
~Bloodink
Powerfully true. My sister's friend had to jump off her balcony window due to someone breaking into her flat. I was there when it happened and you have covered the whole event in such a way that makes it more interesting than any article. Brilliant, truly brilliant and I hope that you, your friends and your family are okay and haven't been affected by the horror and violence of this terrible event.
As another person who lived through this in one of the worst hit areas I don't feel this captures enough of the horror.
There were screaming people, riot police on my doorstep, mobs passing by with bats and bricks not to mention the burning ash that was raining down on us and the raging fires barely a stones throw away.
I could have done with a bit more emotion, this feels a little contrived. It says "I'm sitting safely watching this on the news and contemplating the cause" not "I'm packing my bags cause a fire is creeping towards my home and no one's there to put it out."
This is absolutely Brilliant. I read about the news of the riot online and I can't help but wonder why some people prefer to be agents of destruction instead of change. I particularly liked the ending stanzas; whatever the cause, violence is not and will never be the answer. I feel their pain and my heart goes out to everyone affected by the riot.
This is pretty good. There's strong emotion and a clear opinion in this, which inmakes people think. After all, that is what writing is about. But I do think that you could have been more subtle about it. Instead of saying that it is pointless and destructive, show it through irony. You did this a little bit, like in the line where you say that innocent people are being harmed while politicians have left the country. But you repeat a bit un-poeticly how the actions are pointless. There is good grammar and form, although the flow could be a bit better. I just think this is a bit matter-of-fact. Metaphors and onomonopeias and all that good stuff might help. Let me see the orange and crimson flames reaching up to the sky from a burned school bus, and let me feel the pain of the loss of a loved one to a meaningless cause, and let me watch the transformation from innocent child into rebel and criminal. This is the sort of tragedy that is good for poetry because of all of the feeling behind it. But there is only the message in yours, not the feeling. If you could capture your emotions better, I think this could be an epic piece. Good job, and I sincerely hope that my review helps.
So, you've written a very relevant poem. Seeing as no one been very harsh to you til now, I'm sorry that I will, but I'll be constructive.
Good spelling, like people said, and good grammar, nothing to change.
Good flow and easy rhythm, again nothing really to change.
My main problem was I found with it was the metaphors were just not stroganoff enough for me. the imagery could have been better. I mean, these riots are hell, I'm lucky I moved to Austria for the summer, otherwise I'd be there too. They're the devils devastation. The teenagers are the sleeping volcano that has been awakened.
So you have nice imagery here and there (hyenas in the night, the riots are an epilogue, the deconstruction of hearts,) but it's not consistent. If this whole thing were one flow of disastrous imagery, then it would be much stronger.
The riots have started tonight,
And I can never realise why it does.
This here, your opening line, doesn't make sense. It's either "why THEY do" or "WHAT THEY do", but not "why IT does" seeing as RIOTS are plural.
Good job though. Keep writing
As someone who lives approximately 2 minutes away from one of the worst hit areas in London you really hit the nail on the hammer with this. Reading your poem has really managed to bring back that sense of chaos, fear and anger that I remember feeling at the time of the riots. Really good job, I couldn't have put it in better words even if I tried
*coco
I wanted to know how someone in London felt during the riots. Now I know. The poem was moving and has a strong message. But I think your message can apply to more than just London, but the whole world. I wondered what the back lying story of the riot. I thought to myself, "Police have acciddentally shot innocent people in the past in America, so why is this happening in London right now?" those thoughts further manifest and I think, "Why are these people doing this? Don't they realize that the police could simply end everyone's life with a bullet? Nothing scares people away like the sight of death. The police are trying their best to be nice here."
I remember that people in Vancouver rioted after losing the Stanley cup...
This stanza confused me though. Who wants to kill him? The police or the rioters?
This is a great piece. it reflects the ongoing situation perfectly, from the eyes of someone who has actually been there. Someone who has suffered from it. And the message at the end was powerful too. Keep up the good work
Hello Kiddo! This poem is another good one. I like how its straight foreward without many metaphors. As much as I love metaphors sometimes a break is needed. Time for Nitpicks:
1. Punctuation:
Many of your stanzas have punctuation at the beginning but none at the end. Where did it go?
2. Capitalization:
Capitalize the beginnings of all the lines. Or not, I don't know, it's just something I'm used to.
3. Not exactly a nitpick, just something I like:
I like how you begin each stanza the same way. It adds a nice, even flow.
Thats all I have, this is a lovely poem. I'm sorry I didn't have more to say, If I think of anything I'll add it. Keep writing. Like I've said before, you'll go far kid. Keep putting this level of emotion into your writing, it really makes for a good read.
Emot.
Hellue, here I go as promised!
Also.. you've got great punctuation through most parts of your poem but at the end of last stanza I believe there should be a dot. Maybe this was unintential.. maybe it was on purpouse, but in my world the dots should be there ^^ Eeeh.. what else do I have to say.. oh, the topic.. the topic, the topic, the topic.. It's a great topic.. ehm. yeah, great topic. Your piece is very powerful and you use great imagery to conjure emotions inside of your readers soo eeg, yeh that's awesome. I couldn't find any spell errors or other grammatic stuff... it's just the dots really 
Good things first today; Great, great flow! I also like the structure of this peice, very neat - I like neat! you've got some great secondary and primary rhymes, none of them forced - Big plus.. Though, if to skip to the improvable stuff, I can't seem to find a scheme.. they seem kinda randomly put in and I think it's better to keep some sort of pattern at least
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
Darn. I hate how you always make me feel uncomfortable when I read anything of yours! That's a really powerful skill...
I especially like the last stanza, because what you say is so true. We never realize something important until everything's done and over with.
Only thing, maybe you could provide a spoiler about this event in London for the people who don't know about it? Maybe that will help us connect more to the context of the poem.
Also, is it unpatient or impatient?
Over all, powerful poem.
This was really well written and clearly conveys the trouble going on in the country. You got across a powerful message and used strong emotion. I don't really tend to nitpick political poems, but from what I could see your grammer was good and there were no spelling mistakes.
I hope along with you, that this riot ends soon and we can go back to feeling safe.