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Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,836 Reviews
It's quite difficult to understand, as it got deep meaning. Well, what's the relation between the poem and the Genetic Makeup?
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RaspBerry~
I finally got a chance to review this~
I thought this poem was a little short. Short's fine; short's good. But I had a feeling you could've written a lot more on the concept.
Besides that, from what I understood of the poem, you tried explaining how you are yourself at the beginning, and then you went on to say how people aren't actually what they seem to be or who they say they are. I found it a little confusing though. It seemed a lot like you didn't actually organize everything properly. It probably needs to be organised a little better. Like, you could exchange the positions of the third and foruth stanzas. That makes it a little more organised, I think, because you end the second stanza with "I see through you." which is like a beginning for the last stanza. So it would be sort of like this:
That seems much better to me.
I see repetition~ It usually isn't a problem, and it isn't exactly one here either. But you can replace the second one with something else, because the more I read the poem, the more noticable it becomes. I'm not sure if that's a bad thing, but I suggest changing it.
Besides that, I liked how you presented the concept. It certainly suits the theme.
~Lemony
Slightly ingenious yet headache causing. I may or may not stop being lazy and actually review this.