When you're first born, everything is supposed to be new.
All is different, weird and out of the blue.
But what if I think I've lived this life before?
I've got the scars on my neck; which people seem to adore.
I was called a confused child, but it's all because of them
They twisted my story, so I had to condemn.
The man who killed me; people looked up to him
He took my life, limb by limb
The innocence proved he was blind
Maybe it was a job he was assigned
I don't understand why I remember this
Why I remember the life I miss
No matter what people say, I'm not crazy
Evidence proves not
I've bee given a second chance at life
So why am I not grateful?
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140,206 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
Hey..!
This was pretty. In a last stanzas you forget to punctuate, but nothing that can't fixed. I love the first stanza a lot, especially the second and third lines. They are beautiful. I think the idea behind this poem is really unique, it's kind of different, and it works so well. Keep up the good work...!
Looking forward to more
This is well done.
I am confused at the line about people adoring scars. What does this justify? What does it mean? You need to place your words with more meaning rather than to rhyme. I don't think this helps justify your poem.
I like the whole idea of remembering your past life. It does go off onto a weirdly cut tangent about the guy who killed him, crossing two stanzas, but in the end it's acceptable and makes a nice story.
Internal resistance times external resistance has been divided by the ideal voltage oh sorry that was supposed to be in my physics notes bye!!!! (insane)
I really like this! It is dramatic and although it didn't exactly spell out what it was about (minus the title) it left it up to several interpretations.
good story never stop writing good job
Hey there, Monkey! Lily here so do not fear! (okay, you can fear, but only a little.)
Right off the bat, I want to comend you on shooting for a AABB rhyme scheme. I've never in all my years tried to do that because I usually focus on rhythm but you've got that too with the exception of a few lines. For instance saying that people "adore" the scars on your narrators neck which seems a bit odd. Also, your rhyming really seems to just disappear in the last stanza; what gives?
Okay, I'll quit blathering about rhyme. Instead, let's jive about punctuation. You did well with it in the first stanza but then it all just got lost after that so I would definitely focus on adding some end-of-the-line marks where they're needed. Otherwise it seems like you just sort of gave up on it, you know.
Otherwise, I do like the story you're trying to tell here even if I'm a bit fuzzy about the details (something to consider working on as well because not much is given as to what really happened. Or perhaps your narrator is just crazy, who knows.
Anyways, if you have any questions, feel free to leave a wall note or send a PM.