Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Script » Science Fiction

16+ Language

KIA - Episode 1 (Now Rises KIA)

by Aravind


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

[Scene 1]

(Political Rally - Mayor Elections in Chiltern)

EVANS - (Giving his speech) It's about who we are, and what we as people represent. When this country sees Chiltern, they should be able to see power, determination, and progress; engraved onto plain solid rock!

(applause)

EVANS - Gary Norman may be running for Mayor! But as long as his criminal record stands! There's no way he'll get there; and people! I know very well you're clever enough to see the tyranny of this man!

(On the sides Gary Norman's men are getting their guns loaded)

GARY - (Silently) Shush, no need. I'll talk to him after.

(Once the rally clears off)

PA 1 - Good rally that was, Mr Evans.

EVANS - It sure was.

PA 1 - (Sees Gary's troop approaching) Keep watch, they're coming.

EVANS - I got this.

BOBBY - Every time! With the same old criminal record.

EVANS - You don't scare me, and neither can your boss. It may have been 7 years since you guys got out. The people still remember what you did; there's no hope.

BOBBY - We'll see about that (raises a fist).

GARY - Hey, hey, calm down. What're you doing? The man's got a point. (Comes towards Evans, hands on his shoulder; dusting them off). Listen, Evans - I may have everything you said on that stage. I've got something you don't have; (whispers) I can manipulate this system.

Back me up here, what's a system?

PA 2 - A body comprising of interdependent components working in synergy.

GARY - Right. See, I'll go mess up one component, and that'll act as a relay. Everything else will work as it is. If I think, I can get rid of what I did 7 years ago from criminal records.

EVANS - You may control documented evidence, but there's no stopping the impression you have in the public eye. To them, you're still a criminal. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way.

(Evans and his crew move off)

BOBBY - You're going to let that fool move off like that? One word, just one hint, and I would have had his head ripped off.

GARY - Listen buddy boy, you're part of politics, not a mafia; that's old story. You want to get things done here? You play by the rules.

BOBBY - Politics and Mafia is no different.

GARY - Politics is legal, if you get where I'm going with this. You'll see; Chiltern's new mayor will be Gary Norman.

[Scene 2]

(Meanwhile, at Edgar's Mansion)

EDGAR - (Watching the news coverage about the rally and thinking) Is it?

(Gets up and moves into his lab where he thinks hard)

KIA - Dad?

EDGAR - Yes? C-Come in.

KIA - What are you doing?

EDGAR - I'm just thinking, nothing else.

KIA - Test me.

EDGAR - Why?

KIA - Genetics Convention. The Swedish Scientists are coming to assess my abilities.

EDGAR - Right. What's my pulse?

KIA - 75 beats per minute.

EDGAR - Read that word in size 5 font on the other end of the room.

KIA - 21st July 2030.

EDGAR - 10 laps around the estate and back.

(KIA runs off and comes back)

EDGAR - Good. Now arm-wrestle.

(KIA beats his father using Tiger strength)

EDGAR - You're set. Don't stress about it.

KIA - I won't. We've done this a billion times.

[Scene 3]

(At the Genetics Convention Centre)

EDGAR - I'm proud to introduce you to KIA, the fully functioning Hybrid Human. He was genetically designed to have the phenotype and genotype of a Tiger, an Eagle, and a Cheetah. In short; he's part predator.

KIA is now 25 years old. He has been designed such that he experiences these changes once through his Adolescent period. Up until that point, he would be capable of showing growth and development of a normal human being. Feel free to ask and test KIA.

SCIENTIST 1 - Tigers have the capacity to sense an individual's Aorta within a 2km radius. Using your abilities, can you tell me my pulse rate?

KIA - Your pulse rate is currently at 60 beats per minute which seems to be normal.

SCIENTIST 1 - Hmm good.

SCIENTIST 2 - Describe your daily nutrition.

KIA - Being part Predator, I'm subject to the consumption of meat such as beef, buffalo meat, and egg. For the sake of having a balanced diet, I also taken in Spinach, Carrots, Fibre, Potatoes, and Tomatoes.

SCIENTIST 3 - What Phenotype qualities do you share from the animals?

KIA - At night, my eyes turn to those of Tigers. As you know, animals have a Tapetum Lucidium structure in their eyes which enable them to see clearly in the dark. I am able to see at both night and day.

SCIENTIST 4 - What qualities have you obtained from Eagles? Do you fly?

KIA - I am able to climb and remain at tremendous heights without fear. I am able to spot anyone within a 50 mile radius.

SCIENTIST 5 - Dr Campbell. Out of curiosity: what was he designed for? Does his existence serve any significant purpose for society?

(silence - KIA stares at his father for an answer, and even he is stumped)

EDGAR - I-I don't know. Many have asked in the past - I feel a time and place will come for me to realize this.

(applause)

[Scene 4]

(An ice-cream van drops by in a local neighbourhood - children rush to buy)

SELLER - Alright kids! No pushing! One at a time!

(Mr. Evans young son is one of the children)

SELLER - Alrighty! Butterscotch scoop for you!

E BOY - Thank you!

(After consumption - the children soon begin spitting out blood and die. Parents assemble to cry)

PARENTS - Oh no!!! Our children!! (crying).

NEWS REPORTER - 15 children have consumed ice-cream at around 4pm today. It appears that they've been drugged with chemical toxicants.

(Gary Norman drives through)

GARY - My god (acting on the set of the incident) This is horrible.

NEWS REPORTER - What is your take on such an incident?

GARY - First of all, we need to verify if this "so called" ice-cream selling business is verified by local authorities. Some are actually set up by local mafia for their own intentions.

NEWS REPORTER - You seem to have a criminal record of running a mafia of your own in the past. How does your input seem valuable?

GARY - I may have been a criminal yesterday, but trust me when I say I know what these guys do because I myself was part of it at a point in my life. There shouldn't be a reason for crime when I'm elected.

NEWS REPORTER - What hint do you leave on this particular case?

GARY - Well then, I managed to stumble upon the ice-cream cup these sellers handed to the children. When closely examining it, you see political symbol of Mr. Evans.

(Public gasps at his notion)

GARY - It seems crystal clear don't you think? I mean we adults would think twice when it's politics oriented. What do our poor children know? They're vulnerable. This is just an effort put by Mr. Evans to convince your children to like them; but it seems they can't even deliver what they want to!

(Mr. Evans sees this on the news)

EVANS - (Tears) No, not to my own son.

[Scene 5]

(Mr. Evans makes his way to the police station)

INSPECTOR - Mr. Evans, what brings you here?

EVANS - I need to file a case, against Gary Norman.

INSPECTOR - Gary Norman? W-What did he ever do?

EVANS - He's framing me! For christ's sake! My own son died out there!

INSPECTOR - Any evidence? Eye witnesses?

(Silent)

INSPECTOR - Listen, Mr. Evans. This is a political crime, you're lucky the commissioner is not here yet. You would've been thrown behind bars within minutes.

EVANS - But I'm not the one! Can't you see?! He's using his criminal ways to win this election!

INSPECTOR - What happens in politics, stays in politics. We can't do our job on behalf of any third party's political orientation. We serve the people.

EVANS - All I ask of you is to further investigate Gary Norman. Please! You know this guy has a criminal record!

INSPECTOR - What record?

EVANS - I'm sorry, what?

INSPECTOR - Doesn't look like it.

EVANS - Don't you dare. We the people still know!

INSPECTOR - Even I know, but with no documented evidence? Good luck getting him in court.

EVANS - What's the point of justice when you can't use common sense to deduce such cases?

INSPECTOR - It's how the system works, my friend. You better start getting to know it yourself; how else will people see you as mayor?

[Scene 6]

(At Mr. Evans' son's funeral - family gathering for mourning. Now once everyone has left the area)

MR. EVANS - Benjamin....(crying) it wasn't meant to be.

(Gary Norman shows up)

GARY - I'm extremely sorry for your loss.

(Mr. Evans is surprised)

GARY - Some things aren't meant to be. (Turns to Mr. Evans) You shouldn't try things to get votes.

EVANS - (Strangles him by the neck) You!! You!! Imbecile!

BOBBY - AY!! Ay!!! Hands off!! (pushes his hand off).

EVANS - (Cries) T-There's no justice in this world! There isn't any! Thorns will continue to prick the petals!

(Slips and falls onto his son's tombstone)

EVANS - Benjamin! (cries) Benjamin!!!

[Scene 7]

(Edgar and KIA watch the news)

EDGAR - Terrible, terrible things happening around.

KIA - I thought Mr. Evans was a nice guy. He seems fit for the job.

EDGAR - People have masks, KIA. It's a political game.

KIA - It doesn't seem right. It seems like something Gary would do. What are the police doing? Are they even investigating the underground political game?

EDGAR - That's not any of their business. Their job is to serve justice when needed to; not to influence the course of politics.

KIA - Sometimes to do something good, they'll have to serve with an iron fist themselves.

(doorbell rings - Mr. Evans enters)

EDGAR - Mr. Evans! W-What're you doing here?

EVANS - I-I saw your convention discussion online. Your son really is something.

EDGAR - Well sure, but, h-how're you coping with things now?

EVANS - It's sheer hell. I-I just can't do it (tears). T-They had to take out my son to get the message across.

KIA - How sure are you of the fact that he did it?

EVANS - He's the only one envious of my success. Who else can go against him with a tough fight?

KIA - I thought the same too. You wouldn't kill your own son.

EVANS - With all the PR stunts doing the rounds, people say I'm willing to kill my own son for the power.

EDGAR - Well, what brought you by?

EVANS - The police are useless. I can't talk them into even investigating Gary Norman. For crying out loud, they've erased his criminal record.

KIA - What?! How?

EVANS - Power, that's what it is. Chiltern needs someone more than just the police force, they need someone who can fight with an iron fist, against all evil.

KIA - What brings you here then?

EDGAR - Are you saying that?-

EVANS - It sounds crazy! It seems crazy! I know! But, listen; the purpose? Who is KIA? No one knows, until then he's still a marvel of a creation. You've got to empower him for something.

EDGAR - I appreciate the offer, Mr. Evans. My son is no vigilante. He will soon be used for some sort of scientific endeavor. I created him; but not for crime fighting.

EVANS - I understand, I-I guess I'm really too emotional about losing my own son (tears and looks at KIA). You've been watching, you've been listening, you know exactly what's going on. I see the amber in your eyes, I can relate to whatever intensity and war you're going through. A man your age, knows what to do to make a life for himself.

Compliments to your father for creating you. Unless you challenge your enemy, neither of you will understand your real capacity; him as a father, or yourself as a creation.

(leaves the house)

EDGAR - The chap is very emotional indeed. He's not thinking straight at the moment; don't let it go to your head.

[Scene 8]

(KIA thinks about current events, his father's sayings, and Mr. Evans' sayings before he sleeps. He decides to mysteriously sneak out of the house to explore what's going on)

BOBBY - (On the phone) Yes, yes, I'll take care of it. Don't worry (drops the call) Oi! Sully! Get those symbols printed out!

(KIA observes Bobby and some more men printing out symbols of Mr. Evans' political party)

BOBBY - Get that on every children's product! I repeat! I want Hamley's flooding with these stuff!

(KIA decides to jump in and take action)

MAN 1 - Here, I got a shot for you.

BOBBY - Thank you.

(A tiger growl echoes the warehouse)

BOBBY - The hell was that?

MAN 1 - Shit is that an animal?

BOBBY - We've got a fucking animal in this place?

MAN 2 - Shush!

(a second growl comes in - the seven men load their guns and are searching the warehouse)

MAN 3 - You go that side, I'm over here.

MAN 4 - I know what to do!

(After hinting out scratched metal, growls; KIA pounces on the 7th man)

MAN 7 - Ah!

KIA - Shush! (Shuts his mouth and looks around - he then claws his eyes out and kills him).

MAN 6 - Ay! AY! Have a look there! I heard something!

(KIA pounces and kills the rest three other men)

BOBBY - Oi! What the fuck is going on over here?!

(KIA jumps right in front of them)

BOBBY - Who are you?

(Bobby and the other two stay close together - KIA approaches them closely)

BOBBY - (About to dial) Hello?

KIA - Hang up.

BOBBY - I'm sorry, what?

KIA - Hang up.

BOBBY - You piece of!-

(KIA growls like a Tiger - the guys are scared)

MAN 2 - What the fuck?!

MAN 1 - J-J-Just shut up!

BOBBY - Hey, man! Chill!

(KIAs eyes start glazing like those of Tigers)

BOBBY - Dude!!! What's up with you?!

(KIA runs and attacks him at the speed of a cheetah - his legs turn into those of a Cheetah)

BOBBY - Ah!!! (in pain).

(KIA kills them all and ties them to the printing machines)

[Scene 9]

(On the News)

NEWS REPORTER - Gary Norman's hencemen, Bobby and several others were found dead at a printing warehouse. They appear to be tied up to machines printing logos of Mr. Evans' political party....

EDGAR - Oh god, just look at these fellas! They look like they've been....(turns to KIA and notices his bruises). Don't tell me you-

KIA - I did.

EDGAR - Are you insane? You realize the genetic defects that could incur?

KIA - There aren't any; stop making things up.

EDGAR - That's not the point. You're not a crime fighter! You're meant for scientific research and development.

KIA - You're under-estimating my capacity!

EDGAR - The police, the military, there are so many out there. You're not one of them, for christ's sake.

KIA - I took Bobby and his men out for framing Mr. Evans again in child product scandals. I could do that with whatever I had; maybe he's not wrong after all.

EDGAR - (Answers the phone) Hello? Oh...oh, you're welcome, I-I guess. (looks at KIA) Yes, I-I'll convey your regards (cuts the call). Mr. Evans just thanked you for what you did.

KIA - You see that?

EDGAR - Hmm....

KIA - Dad, I don't want your research to go in vain. What you've done is great for genetics; I couldn't have asked for anything better than this.

EDGAR - I'm only scared for your well-being. It's complicated enough that you were genetically designed; with all the action you get yourself into.....

KIA - It was only last night, when I turned to realize my potential as an individual. I am capable of things which no ordinary man can do; I can serve the right justice.

EDGAR - If that's your destiny.....chase it.

KIA - You're serious?

EDGAR - We'll see how it goes. My research serum can come in handy to you too.

KIA - Is that why you agreed on this?

EDGAR - Listen, it's better to stay invisible to the human eye, especially when fighting crime. I've prepared a serum; it holds qualities of a Chameleon.

KIA - Fire me up.

EDGAR - Tomorrow.

END EPISODE 1


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
1067 Reviews


Points: 112695
Reviews: 1067

Donate
Sat Jun 09, 2018 10:14 am
Mea wrote a review...



Hey there! I thought I'd drop by for a quick review today.

Apologies if I repeat anything the previous reviewer has said, as I only skimmed through their review. Overall, I agree with a lot of what they say: it's traditional in scripts to include a list of characters at the beginning and usually a brief description of them and/or their personality, though that can be as short or as long as you want to maintain mystery. It's also necessary to describe the setting to some extent. Think of the script like the directions you're giving to the producer of the movie - if you don't describe the setting, it's really hard for the person to know what tone you're going for or what genre(s) you have in mind.

For example, it took me a while to figure out who Bobby was, because I had no way of knowing he was part of Gary's troop.

One other thing I noticed formatting-wise is that every time you had multiple paragraphs of the same character talking, it confused me because I thought the second paragraph was description rather than dialogue. You might consider keeping all the dialogue in the same paragraph, although it does get long, or (this is probably better) using the "NAME: (cont.)" format where you still have their name at the beginning of the next paragraph.

I liked the scene between Edgar and KIA. I thought some of the lines of dialogue were a bit clunky (particularly the one about the font size), but I thought overall it was a really good way to introduce us to who these people are and what's special about KIA. I'm also a lot more interested in KIA than the drama between Evans and Gary.

PARENTS - Oh no!!! Our children!! (crying).

This line... doesn't really work. It's too melodramatic. I also thought the whole plot point of the poisoned ice cream feels a bit contrived and illogical. So people were selling ice cream to kids, and the cups had Edgar's political symbol on them, so the ice cream was supposedly sponsored by him to make kids like him. But then the ice cream is poisonous and all those kids die. But... for one thing, poisons are usually not that fast-acting. Kids probably wouldn't have been dying in the streets like that - they'd get sick over a long period of time. More importantly, why would anyone believe that Evans did it on purpose? It doesn't make any sense - why would his campaign want to kill kids? I don't see why everyone would jump to that conclusion.

However, I did really like how this injustice is what spurs KIA into action. I think that's the strongest part of the plot here, and I was consistently more interested in KIA than in Evans, so you might want to consider spending more time exploring KIA's motivations. If Evans just functions as a way to motivate KIA like this, he doesn't need to play as bit of a role.

And I think that's all I've got for this! I think I'll review the next couple parts today or tomorrow. Good luck, and keep writing!




User avatar


Points: 620
Reviews: 4

Donate
Sun May 13, 2018 4:21 pm
View Likes
Kresle wrote a review...



For each "episode," I suggest writing out the all appearing characters at the beginning. I also think you should give out short summaries of the characters so that people would understand them better. It can be a really brief description or a detailed one, whichever you prefer. I didn't really understand who or what KIA really was until halfway into the script. Honestly though, if you want to keep their character a mystery, I think it's alright to keep their descriptions blank, just put their name in the list.
When you start a scene, please go more into detail with the setting. It's important so that people will be able to visualize the scene properly.

(On the sides Gary Norman's men are getting their guns loaded)

GARY - (Silently) Shush, no need. I'll talk to him after.


For this part, considering how Gary really seemed not to be planning on making a ruckus, I don't see why he needed to bring a handful of men. This is why it's important to describe in detail the setting. Where is this political rally? If this political rally was held in a public area, it would not be very smart of Gary Norman to bring a troop of his men. It was stated that they had guns in their possession. It would attract attention obviously, unless that was Gary's intention.
However, nobody seemed to care.

(Gets up and moves into his lab where he thinks hard)

KIA - Dad?

EDGAR - Yes? C-Come in.

You showed that Edgar went inside his laboratory, but did not state KIA's actions here. Was he outside the door when he called out to his dad? Was the door closed? Did he come in, or is he still at the door? As I said, you need to point out the actions clearly.


(KIA runs off and comes back)


There's nothing really wrong here, but I would have made this one a bit more detailed. Something like, "KIA speeds out the room and immediately comes back." Specifying how long it took for him to do that would help.


(KIA beats his father using Tiger strength)


I personally think this once could've been phrased a bit better. Does tiger strength affect his physical appearance? Since you didn't put character descriptions in the beginning, this one might confuse the readers of the script a bit. Maybe it would have been more fitting to make use of the phrase "Tiger strength" after you reveal what makes him special. Which you did in the next scene.


KIA - Your pulse rate is currently at 60 beats per minute which seems to be normal.


Considering how KIA's father is a scientist, maybe you should have him say that his pulse rate is normal and not that it "seems" to be normal.



EDGAR - I-I don't know. Many have asked in the past - I feel a time and place will come for me to realize this.

(applause)


It's weird for the audience to applaud Edgar at that statement, perhaps you should have his presentation end more fittingly in such a way that the audience will be able to interpret that it's over, and clap.


Scene 4 is where things began to feel a bit weird and unnatural for me.


(Mr. Evans young son is one of the children)


People not reading the script won't really know that Mr. Evan's son is in the crowd. So maybe you can shock the script-readers if you revealed it later instead.


(After consumption - the children soon begin spitting out blood and die. Parents assemble to cry)

PARENTS - Oh no!!! Our children!! (crying).


Did they seller just give them away or did the kids have to pay?
Did the bus leave yet? Because it's pretty weird for them not to be doing anything if it's still there.

Elaborate on how the children died. How much of the ice cream was consumed until the effects began to kick in? Did they start spitting out blood then immediately die? Or did they spit out blood and then slowly pass away? Also, how immediate were the parents' reactions? If they were present, a rational parent wouldn't let their child get free ice cream from such a sketchy van unless it looked pretty legitimate.
I also suggest making the parents' reactions more diverse. Maybe you could have some call emergency or the police. Maybe you could have a few run after the van.


NEWS REPORTER - 15 children have consumed ice-cream at around 4pm today. It appears that they've been drugged with chemical toxicants.


Now this, from where do we hear this news? From the radio? How long was this prior to the actual event? Was this on a radio, or a television? Where are we when we hear this report? My assumption is that the news reporter reported on where the incident occurred but at least describe what changed in the setting. Maybe you could have police cars and ambulances present.

I suggest making the report sound a bit more "news"-like, example: "According to police, the ice cream contained chemical toxicants, almost immediately killing the children after consumption."


NEWS REPORTER - You seem to have a criminal record of running a mafia of your own in the past. How does your input seem valuable?

GARY - I may have been a criminal yesterday, but trust me when I say I know what these guys do because I myself was part of it at a point in my life. There shouldn't be a reason for crime when I'm elected.

NEWS REPORTER - What hint do you leave on this particular case?


This line might be better if it was phrased more like, "You are known for having a criminal record of running a mafia of your own in the past. Why should your input seem valuable."

"Hint"? Why would the reporter know that Gary has a hint to leave?


GARY - It seems crystal clear don't you think? I mean we adults would think twice when it's politics oriented. What do our poor children know? They're vulnerable. This is just an effort put by Mr. Evans to convince your children to like them; but it seems they can't even deliver what they want to!


I know that Evans didn't do it but why would he kill children if he wanted them to like him? This makes Gary sound unreliable even though it seems like he gets the upper hand later on in the episode.

Honestly, I think that we could change settings here in this scene, maybe you could have the news report appear on Evans' television while he watches? However, I think that this implies that Evans only finds out now. Which is weird because he should've been notified about what happened to his son, especially considering how this happened in the neighborhood. Was Evans in his office or something? But still, it would've made more sense if he was in the hospital or somewhere similar. Maybe you could have him with his dead son in the hospital and he's watching one of the televisions there.

Scene 5 is pretty alright, but honestly I think that while Evans definitely would have been in trouble, considering Gary's history, people probably would have been suspecting Gary more.


Thorns will continue to prick the petals!


This is a pretty nice line.


[Scene 8]


Again, you need to state the setting. Are they out in the streets? or in a dark alley?


BOBBY - Get that on every children's product! I repeat! I want Hamley's flooding with these stuff!


If the symbol is on children's products, companies would most likely get involved here so you might have to include that in your story if you're planning to have them use that strategy.

===

Sorry if this was long. While people have had similar story ideas before, having politics involved this much is pretty interesting. Next time just be more detailed with the actions the characters make and set up the settings clearly for each scene.
Writing this was tiring so I might read the next episode tomorrow.
I hope this review helps! Some of these are comments and questions though, but they could help in such a way that you'd know how your audience would think.




Aravind says...


Very constructive feedback. Thank you! I've already written the second episode (oops). But yes, the characters will develop along the way. It's why I've written them as a series.




I know history. There are many names in history, but none of them are ours.
— Richard Siken