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Young Writers Society


16+ Language

KIA - Episode 3 (Gary's Election)

by Aravind


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

[Scene 1: Previously on 'KIA']

(KIA's Isolation Room. He experiences the transformation. He gets up and places his hands against the blue wall for 10 seconds, after which his hands camouflage. He now turns on the TV to learn of the tragedy that occurred to Mrs. Evans)

[Scene 2]

(Forensic Laboratory at Chiltern Police HQ. Forensic Scientists have completed the necessary thumb impression and blood tests on Mrs. Evans' body)

SCIENTIST 1 - Mr. Klepper?

MR KLEPPER - You have it? (Receives the Autopsy Report) Thank you.

(Reads the report and is in shock to hear of the results. The inspector in charge that night receives a phone call)

INSPECTOR 2 - (Answers the phone call) Hello? (Reacts to the necessary autopsy details).

(We now cut to a meeting between the Inspector and Mr. Evans at the Police Station)

INSPECTOR 2 - Six people, am I right?

EVANS - (Uncomfortable) Y-Yes.

INSPECTOR 2 - Well um....that's exactly what the reports say. They found a trail of thumb impressions leading to members of Gary's party. Like the doctor said, she's in a traumatized state of mind, and requires all the mental support she can get.

EVANS - I see.

INSPECTOR 2 - And um....(hesitant).

EVANS - (Tensed) That's it right?

INSPECTOR 2 - Well uh....

EVANS - What else is left??

INSPECTOR 2 - They uh, t-they just gathered 'information' about her state this morning.

EVANS - W-Well??

INSPECTOR 2 - She's um....p-pregnant.

EVANS - (In shock) Oh god.

INSPECTOR 2 - I'll help you get the first appointments first abortion.

EVANS - W-We'll do that next week. I just wanna help her settle down in the meantime.

INSPECTOR 2 - Yes, you do that. (Pats Mr. Evans on the shoulder) Things will get better.

[Scene 3]

(At the ICU; Mr. Evans is sitting next to his wife, who's bed-ridden and is unable to respond)

EVANS - (Holding her hand in sorrow; then looks at her) I'm sorry...(looks down) I-I'm sorry.

(We're now at KIAs home. KIA has gone through the necessary 24 hour isolation for his camouflage serum come into play)

KIA - Dad?

EDGAR - How're you feeling? Any strange sensations?

KIA - No, just the usual ones which you mentioned. It takes at least 5-10 seconds for me to camouflage to a background. Is that normal?

EDGAR - Yes, that's normal. When you're in action, be very stealthy and swift.

KIA - Anything happened while I was gone?

EDGAR - (Hesitant) Well um....you know Mrs. Evans?

KIA - Yes.

EDGAR - She was um....gang-raped.

KIA - I figured. I just found out on the news.

EDGAR - It's something of Gary's doings. It happened yesterday evening. She's in the hospital, I believe.

(He reads through the bios of the criminal suspects)

[Scene 4]

(At Evans' House; Mr. Evans reads the front page of the newspaper, titled 'Evans willing to kill son and wife?')

EVANS - (Having a headache; answers a phone call) Hello?

KIA - Mr. Evans.

EVANS - KIA, how are you?

KIA - How's your wife doing?

EVANS - (Hesitant) Critical condition, I'm afraid. She's experienced a brutal injury in her genitalia, and now she's traumatized....haven't seen her say a word till now.

KIA - (Feeling heavy-hearted) T-That's horrible news.

EVANS - I'm starting to think that your retaliation spurred this incident. I know what I said that day....but now, I-I'm beginning to regret it.

KIA - We just have to know the right places to hit them. Everything else will fall into place.

EVANS - I'm going to stay low for sometime. The damage already seems pretty excessive from what I can handle. If you wish to continue, then go all the way.

KIA - Alright, sir (drops the call).

[Scene 5]

(Gary Norman's Estate: Gary and his men are having lunch at the huge dining room)

MINISTER 1 - (While eating) Any development towards our side?

GARY - None.

MINISTER 2 - (While eating) Expecting any in the near future?

GARY - We'll see. There was the case with Bobby just recently.

(Meanwhile at the front gate of the estate; two security guards are guarding the property. KIA springs into action and kills them both by camouflage and tiger claws)

PA 1 - What was that sound? (Yells)

SECURITY 3 - I'll check it out (hurries along).

GARY - Who's coming in, this time 'round?

(The security that just went gets killed the same way, by KIA. The Ministers and Gary get up and see what has happened out in their estate's Pavilion)

PA 1 - My god...

MINISTER 1 - What on earth is this?

GARY - Get the police round up.

PA 1 - (Makes the call) Hello? We need police back-up.

GARY - This is madness.

(KIA plans to turn Gary into a delusional figure. He decides to kill one of his men before him, as he's camouflaged)

GARY - What the fuck was that? (in shock)

PA 1 - Who killed that guy?? Huh?? Who are you!

GARY - This is insane, I'm staying inside. Nobody's bothering me, hear me?

(His men agree to safeguard him, while he's indoors)

[Scene 6]

(Chiltern Election Commission; Mr. Evans is signing the necessary paperwork in order to withdraw from the Mayor elections. He signs and walks off to a Church, where we confesses his problems and mistakes to the Father)

FATHER - You've done nothing wrong.

EVANS - Father, I would love to believe that. It's costed my wife's well-being.

FATHER - Just remember to do your rightful duty. Good always happens to good people.

(News Top Story is covered over the television)

NEWS REPORTER 1 - Mr. Evans has officially opted out from the Chiltern Mayor's Election. The candidate had mentions of psychological blackmailing and pressures from the opposition side.

MR. EVANS - (In a press report) It's too much for me, I-I can't reveal too much at the moment. I've been mentally troubled over the past couple of days. You all know what has happened to my family. I just want to be safe and secure.

(Edgar and KIA watch this news report on television from home)

EDGAR - This is insane. Gary still got whatever he wanted.

KIA - I'm trying to understand his weak spot. Everyone has that one weak spot.

EDGAR - Could you find it?

KIA - I did a small experiment at his estate. I killed a man while in camouflage. He saw that and felt a sense of paranoia.

EDGAR - Work with it, if not find a better way around. It's more painful to live through the agony, than to immediately get killed.

KIA - That's my exact way around.

[Scene 7]

(At Gary's Estate; Gary is in his office room, wondering about how that murder incident took place before his eyes)

PA 1 - (Enters the room) Sir?

GARY - Yes?

PA 1 - Did you catch the news?

GARY - What's happening?

PA 1 - Evans pulled out.

GARY - (In surprise) Really? (Turns on the TV and sees the news headline).

PA 1 - Looks like a clean shot from here onwards.

GARY - (Clicking his pen rapidly) Looks like. How did that happen?

PA 1 - How did what happen?

GARY - (Thinking hard) That, that murder. We didn't even see the murderer.

PA 1 - Are you sure, sir?

GARY - I can't remember seeing someone there. It was almost as if, he was a phantom.

PA 1 - You might've missed him.

GARY - No, I have good eyesight. It's just.....the identity is really daunting me.

PA 1 - Well, you better not let that get to your head at this moment. You're being sworn in tonight.

GARY - (Clicking his pen) I see.

PA 1 - Try not to make your situation very evident.

GARY - No, no, I won't (still feeling a bit of anxiety).

[Scene 8]

(KIA is going through the autopsy report of Mrs. Evans to understand the background of the rapists)

EDGAR - What're you looking for?

KIA - These men....they're not completely under Gary's power, it seems.

EDGAR - Of course they are, it's politics. They just tend to blend in with the society so that they don't get too much attention.

KIA - Here's the surprising part. All these men are highly skilled: they're doctors.

EDGAR - Wait what?

KIA - Look here....(shows the bio report of rapists on a user interface) they've all worked in hospitals like the Chiltern General Hospital and Research Center.

EDGAR - That doesn't make any sense.

KIA - What willpower does it take someone from such a stature to come down this many levels?

(Edgar is wondering)

EDGAR - Good observation. You don't suppose these folks are politically charged, right?

KIA - Well, with an assumption like that, it would mean extreme points of action.

EDGAR - It's not like Gary's that filthy rich either.

[Scene 9]

(Chiltern Center; Gary Norman is being sworn in as the Mayor)

GARY - To Chiltern! Here's to our glorious victory, in this heart-wrenching race for Mayor. It's come to my attention to acknowledge Evans' inability to keep up with this race. My heartfelt condolences extend towards him and his family, for they've experienced a series of traumatizing events. Tonight, it's about celebrating your victory, for voting and placing faith on me. It's about voting for a better Chiltern. Ladies and Gentlemen, and members of the dais, thank you.

(We're now in Gary estate; while in bed, Gary is still rewinding the incident where in his men died through KIA's camouflaged action. He's unable to sleep properly because of this thought).

END EPISODE 3


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1487 Reviews


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Tue Jun 19, 2018 1:14 pm
IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hi there, I'm here to write a quick review for you!

I'm not an expert when it comes to screenwriting, either writing or reviewing it, so you may have to bear with me slightly but I'll do my best.

My main comment here is how quickly and well the characters seem to deal with each situation that comes up. This is obviously different to writing a novel, and is more about how an actor interprets the speech but from what I'm reading there isn't much in the actual speech to show that they are feeling anything about events taking place.

The other thing I wanted to mention was this:

EDGAR - This is insane. Gary still got whatever he wanted.

KIA - I'm trying to understand his weak spot. Everyone has that one weak spot.

EDGAR - Could you find it?

KIA - I did a small experiment at his estate. I killed a man while in camouflage. He saw that and felt a sense of paranoia.

EDGAR - Work with it, if not find a better way around. It's more painful to live through the agony, than to immediately get killed.

KIA - That's my exact way around.


This is a particularly odd scene for me. Would anyone not be paranoid if they saw someone die and couldn't work out how? This could do with some editing as it's hard to understand.

Overall it's hard to understand what's going on, but I think that's often true of reading script. If you intend for it to be more obvious, some extra description would go a long way.

I've no idea if I've been helpful or not, but thanks for the interesting read!

Icy




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275 Reviews


Points: 15319
Reviews: 275

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Sun May 27, 2018 11:22 pm
elysian wrote a review...



Hello, happy review day! You are the last work in the green room with 0 reviews, so I am going to get you into the part with only one review! I'm not too skilled with scripts, so I don't know If I can give much constructive criticism, but I will try my best to give my interpretation of things, and if that's not what you were aiming for, then consider changing it! I also haven't read any of the episodes leading up to this, but I will try my best to follow the story.

**disclaimer: I will most likely focus on negative aspects more so than positive aspects when reviewing, and this is just to help you grow as a writer! It is totally okay not to agree with something I say! Also, If I repeat anything already said, it's probably because it needs to be changed!**

I'll help you get the first appointments first abortion.


this doesn't make much sense, maybe a typo?

this seems a little jumpy, every scene is super short and as soon as I settle into one, it changes. maybe lengthen them a little to keep the pace good?

I think this is an interesting idea, and definitely has a lot of mystery and suspense. My only complaint is the pace, it's so fast-moving, and doesn't give a lot to go off of. I feel like it jumps around a lot and It's hard to follow everything that's happening.

Again, I do not usually review or write scripts, so don't take me as someone that actually knows what she's talking about xD Nevertheless, I hope I helped in some ways :-)

good job, and good luck on future episodes!

- Del





The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.
— Amelia Earhart