z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

I.P.S

by Aravind


CHARACTERS: - IPS Sharvin Arora (DCP)

- Sumanth Shah (Commissioner)

- IPS Vishnu Kuruvilla (ACP)

- Aditi Lulla (Forensic Scientist)

- Sarthak Varma (Home Minister)

- Mohan Kuruvilla (Sharvin's Step Father)

- Liji Kuruvilla (Sharvin's Step Mother)

[Scene 1]

(India's Republic Day - New Delhi, Rajpath)

ANNOUNCER - Now! Our Honourable President, will distribute the Param Vir Chakra awards. The award is meant for officers, men and women of all ranks of the Army, the Navy, and the Air Force. This award is given to those for bravery or some daring and pre-eminent act of valour or self-sacrifice - that is in the presence of an enemy.

(Some five people have come up to receive the award so far)

ANNOUNCER - Next! We have Captain Vineet Arora, of the 1st Battalion. Who died in action, at the borders in Jammu and Kashmir. His wife, Sharmila Arora will receive the Param Vir Chakra award, on his behalf.

(Sharmila Arora receives the award on her husband's behalf, from the President of India. Now she walks back to her seat)

SHARMILA - (Looks at her son and smiles) Your father.

(Sharvin smiles back at his mother)

[Scene 2]

(Back home - in Gurgaon, Harayana)

SHARVIN - Ma! Ma!

SHARMILA - Sharvin? What is it?

SHARVIN - Where is papa's prize?

SHARMILA - On the top.

(Sharvin heads over to see the prize. He simply stands and stares at it)

SHARMILA - (Stands by Sharvin) Your papa was such a brave man (tears begin to rush down).

SHARVIN - (Sees her tears) M-Mumma?

SHARMILA - (Wiping her tears in swift motion) No! N-Nothing dear (hugs Sharvin).

SHARVIN - M-Mumma I feel sad too. W-We have to move on (little tear drops rush).

SHARMILA - N-No, d-don't cry.

SHARVIN - (Crying) I-I'm only 13.

(Sharmila hugs Sharvin even tighter)

SHARMILA - P-Papa is still watching over us. D-Don't worry.

(Later on in the day - Sharmila is seen taking care of the house by herself, preparing Roti and Dal for dinner)

[Scene 3]

(Dinner Time - Sharvin and Sharmila are eating their food, and seated on the floor)

SHARVIN - M-Mumma?

SHARMILA - Yes?

SHARVIN - C-Can I watch TV?

SHARMILA - O-Okay, not for too long.

SHARVIN - O-Okay.

(Sharvin continues to watch TV, meanwhile Sharmila is eating her meal all alone - feeling depressed)

[Scene 4]

(Next Day - Sharvin's good friend, Vishnu comes to visit)

VISHNU - Sharvin, I-I heard.

SHARVIN - I-I really miss him.

VISHNU - Come over to my place. Mumma made chai and has snacks, sleepover?

SHARVIN - I-I want to be with mumma.

SHARMILA - Sharvin, you can go. Come in the morning, alright?

SHARVIN - You will be fine, right?

SHARMILA - Just one night. Spend some time with your friend.

(Vishnu's mother shows up)

LIJI - Vishnu! Vishnu!

VISHNU - Amma!

LIJI - Oh hi! I-I came to know....s-so sorry.

SHARMILA - It's fine.

VISHNU - I want to have a sleep-over with Sharvin.

LIJI - Yes, yes, do that. Sharmila, you can come stay with us too.

SHARMILA - No, no, I-I'm fine.

LIJI - No, please. You'll be all alone.

SHARMILA - Some other day, Liji. For now, let Sharvin go.

LIJI - O-Okay. If you need any help, call me. I'm just across from your place.

SHARMILA - Definitely.

LIJI - Take care, Sharmila. Remember to call me!

SHARMILA - Will do.

(Sharvin goes to his mum)

SHARVIN - Bye ma. See you in the morning.

SHARMILA - (Kisses his forehead) Take care.

LIJI - Vishnu, let's do this another day. Sharmila aunty isn't feeling well.

SHARMILA - No, no. I'm feeling fine, let Sharvin spend some time with you all. It's just one night.

LIJI - Okay.

SHARMILA - (To Sharvin) Take good care of yourself, Sharvin.

SHARVIN - Yes, ma.

[Scene 5]

(At Vishnu's place - Sharvin seems to have forgotten all about the family tragedy and move on)

MOHAN - (Coming back from work) Hello! Hi Sharvin!

SHARVIN - Hi Uncle!

MOHAN - I heard...

SHARVIN - I-It's fine, I-I moved on.

MOHAN - Good sport. Papa is still watching over us.

(Sharvin smiles and goes back to play)

MOHAN - Where's Sharmila? You talked to her?

LIJI - Yes, she said she's fine. Sharvin is having a sleepover tonight.

MOHAN - I see.

LIJI - I asked if she could join too, but she suggested it to happen for another time.

MOHAN - That's fine. After all, it's just one night.

LIJI - Yes.

[Scene 6]

(While Sharvin and Vishnu's family sat to eat dinner - Sharmila is eating all alone, along with that she's taking her BP tablet too. Now morning has come)

LIJI - Good morning, Vishnu! Sharvin!

SHARVIN - Good morning.

LIJI - Did you sleep well?

SHARVIN - Yes, I-I did.

LIJI - Good. Now come, I made breakfast. You can eat egg, right?

SHARVIN - Yes.

LIJI - Good, I prepared Omlette and Cereal. Brush your teeth and get ready. Sharvin! After this you can go home. Come in the evening to play with Vishnu!

SHARVIN - Yes.

[Scene 7]

(After Breakfast - Sharvin goes back to his place)

SHARVIN - (Rings the doorbell) Mumma?

(No Response)

SHARVIN - Mumma? I'm back!

(No Response - Sharvin opens the door, and to his astonishment, the door wasn't locked)

SHARVIN - (Mind Voice) Normally Mumma locks the door. Mumma?

(Goes to her room and sees her sleeping)

SHARVIN - Still sleeping, I see (goes over to wake her up) Mumma, I'm back! Wake up.

(No Response)

SHARVIN - Mumma, Mumma, Wake up. I even ate breakfast, Liji Aunty's omlette was so tasty.

(No Response)

SHARVIN - (Tries to shake her body to wake her up) Mumma? Mumma! (Mind Voice) Not responding...Mumma!

(Sharvin goes to Vishnu's place)

LIJI - Yes, Sharvin? Forgot something?

SHARVIN - (Nervous) Mumma...

LIJI - Mumma?

SHARVIN - (Tears start dropping) Sharvin! W-What happened?

(Liji and Sharvin go to the house)

LIJI - Where? What happened to mumma?

(Sharvin points at his mother, whose in bed)

LIJI - What? Sharmila! Sharvin is back.

(No Response from Sharmila)

LIJI - She's sleeping, dear. She's had a rough night.

SHARVIN - (Nervous) I-I shook her, n-no movement.

LIJI - What? (Fingers on her neck to check for pulse) Hmm....

SHARVIN - I-Is....

LIJI - (Puts ear on her chest) Hmm....

SHARVIN - I-Is...

LIJI - Sharmila! Sharmila!! (shaking her).

SHARVIN - (Crying) No!

(Liji finds Sharmila's phone on the ground and picks it up)

SHARVIN - Mumma's phone.

LIJI - Did someone send her a bad message? Or...

(She sees a voice memo app open - she clicks on the top recording)

SHARMILA - (From the Voice Recording - Gasping) S-Sharvin! S-Sharvin!! (Gasping for breath) S-Sorry (Crying) I-I just wanted you to be happy! (Gasping) I-I didn't want to interrupt your sleepover with- (gasping) L-Liji! L-Lij! (Dies of Heart Attack).

(Liji and Sharvin are astonished - now crying. Ambulance comes in later on and takes the body away. Vishnu and his family stood by Sharvin through the funeral)

SHARVIN - (Crying) Ma! Ma!!! I-I'm too young!!

(Vishnu comes over and hugs Sharvin - from a distance, the parents are talking)

MOHAN - Poor boy.

LIJI - She loved Vineet so much. S-She just, wasn't ready to move on.

MOHAN - Apart from that, (soft voice) her health too. Vineet at times told me about her Blood Pressure.

LIJI - I-It happens.

MOHAN - Poor boy. It's tough, r-really tough to digest this news.

LIJI - In her dying breath, s-she mentioned my name (in tears).

MOHAN - (Hugging her) May her soul rest in peace.

LIJI - Mohan, I-I was thinking that, maybe we-

MOHAN - I-I was just thinking that.

LIJI - Sharvin needs all the help he could find.

(Vishnu's parents accept Sharvin into the family - Vishnu now became his brother)

SHARVIN - (Narration) 15 years have past since that day. My best friend, Vishnu, had then become my brother. I'm used to calling uncle and aunty, instead of step-father and step-mother. We had a great time together - Such a great family to move into. They supported me through the death anniversaries of my parents, took me to places, education, and so on. I couldn't be more thankful than this. Wherever my parents are, I hope they're smiling down on us, because my life found a way.

My mother, had so much love for my father. Arranged marriage was the thing back then, but my parents had love marriage - which was a great thing. Sadly the journey broke off too quickly. My father wasn't a patriot, nor did he hate his own country - he only wanted to protect whatever we had - because all could vanish quickly into thin air. My mother on the other hand, stayed supportive of my father, even though his job meant risk of death. I guess, she never expected my father to die like this, for he was a brave and courageous man.

I was very much inspired by my parents. Once they were gone, I made it a point to serve the people - protecting them from danger. I thought about considering another line, as soon as I got to high school. Then I thought to myself - We as people aren't so willing to give our lives to save another. As days go on, we are all willing to do things for ourselves, when as a matter of fact - We are all part of one body. Just as a famous writer, J B Priestley had said. It's not about sacrificing ourselves, it's about one's courage and bravery - to be daring, to help one another. That is what I wanted to do. Me and Vishnu, now closer as brothers - aspired to one day, become policeman.

(15 Years later - Sharvin is now 27 years old)

[Scene 8]

(Police Department - Delhi)

COMMISSIONER - (On the Phone) Hello? Yes sir, yes, yes, we'll do it (drops the call). Where's Sharvin?

(Sharvin walks in and salutes)

COMMISSIONER - Here (gives him a file).

SHARVIN - Which case is it?

COMMISSIONER - Not a case. It's a transfer order.

SHARVIN - What? Where?

COMMISSIONER - Mumbai.

(Rowdies in Jail)

ROWDY 1 - Haha! DCP now going to Bombay!

(Sharvin whips out his gun and shoots the cell walls)

ROWDIES - Ah! So loud!

SHARVIN - (Showing his gun in front of them) This isn't a museum piece, mind it.

COMMISSIONER - Be in Mumbai by tonight.

SHARVIN - Yes, sir.

[Scene 9]

(Sharvin's flight - Air India, reaches Mumbai. He sees a man holding a placard with his name on it)

DRIVER - Sharvin?

SHARVIN - Yes.

(They drive off to the Police Headquarters)

DRIVER - Where are you coming from?

SHARVIN - Delhi.

DRIVER - Ah, Delhi. Nice place, huh?

(Sharvin is silent)

[Scene 10]

(Police Headquarters - Mumbai. Entire department is present)

SUMANTH - Sharvin Arora?

SHARVIN - (Salutes) Sir!

SUMANTH - (Shakes hand with Sharvin) Sumanth Shah, Commissioner of Police.

SHARVIN - (Shakes hand with Sumanth) Yes, sir.

SUMANTH - Meet the department.

VISHNU - (Smiling) Welcome Back.

SHARVIN - (Smiles) Vishnu.

SUMANTH - You know him?

SHARVIN - We last met, at a camp in Kashmir.

SUMANTH - I see.

SHARVIN - A brother.

SUMANTH - Good, good. Here's the Forensic Department.

ADITI - (Shakes hand with Sharvin) Aditi Lulla, Forensic Scientist.

SHARVIN - Sharvin Arora, nice to meet you.

SUMANTH - He's our newly appointed DCP.

ADITI - Deputy Commissioner of Police.

VISHNU - I'm Assistant Commissioner of Police.

SUMANTH - We've heard a lot about you, Sharvin. If I'm not wrong, you dealt with organized crime cases in Delhi and Gurgaon.

SHARVIN - Yes, yes. Also for two years, I was in Bangalore. Most of my time was in Harayana.

SUMANTH - You'll be here on a five-year lease.

SHARVIN - Yes, sir.

SUMANTH - You'll be part of the Organised Crime Unit and several other units such as Narcotics. They'll be subsidiary units, though.

SHARVIN - Okay, sir.

SUMANTH - Home Minister Sarthak Varma, will come tomorrow to meet you. Along side, you'll receive your first case.

SHARVIN - Thank you, sir (salutes and leaves).

                                                                 END OF EPISODE 1


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Tue Sep 20, 2016 10:51 pm
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BluesClues wrote a review...



Two thoughts for you today on this. Not sure how much either of them matter, since they matter more to someone reading the script than to someone watching this all acted out, but I'll tell you anyway.

First of all, the stuttering or stammering or what have you. 25 different lines include it.

MOHAN - I-I was just thinking that.


In story format, you can make sparing use of this to let readers know the character is stuttering or stammering, but it's unnecessary in a script; the actors will understand the character's emotion in this moment, so they'll read the lines as necessary to portray distress/fear/a speech impediment/etc. And even in story format, you want to keep this very light, not all the time.

Better to either not mention it or use "stammered" or "stuttered" as a dialogue tag or use narration like "her tongue tripped over the words" or something. But in a script, you can just trust the future actors to get this across.

The other thing was about the mom's heart attack. Which, again: your audience won't know that it says "dies of heart attack" in parentheses, because presumably they'll be watching it play out onscreen/onstage.

BUT let's pretend that's not the case.

So first of all, mostly because we saw the mom lonely and depressed and then saw her take pills, I originally thought she was committing suicide. Plus she was so gung-ho for Sharvin to go spend the night with his friend, which I figured was her making sure he wouldn't be there to see it, especially since she refused to go with them, even though she was invited. PLUS it seemed weird that she would leave him a voicemail in the middle of a heart attack saying, "I didn't want to interrupt your sleepover."

Like, if you need medical help, call for medical help, right? Whereas with suicide I could see her leaving a voicemail to let him know she loves him but without ruining this last night of fun for him.

Also, women's heart attacks tend to be sleepier than men's. While women can feel shortness of breath and chest pain, we're likely to experience flu-like symptoms--nausea, cold sweats, light-headedness--which actually frequently results in death simply because women don't realize they're having a heart attack and thus don't call 911.

Although I realize in a television show or stageplay, you probably just need to show the melodramatic clutching-your-arm-and-yelling "I'M COMING, ELIZABETH!" kind of heart attack or the audience won't believe it, regardless of how it really happens.

So I just wanted to let you know that. I don't know how suicide is perceived in India; otherwise I'd tell you that would provoke a much stronger emotional reaction, plus it reminds me a little of the old tradition of sati/suttee (although I know that's dying out now, which is good). But since I don't know how suicide is perceived in India, maybe that would do something to the perception of the mother and that's why you didn't want to go with it.




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Mon Sep 05, 2016 2:21 am
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Mea wrote a review...



Hey there! I thought I'd drop by and review this.

So, scripts! I'm not an expert on them, but hopefully I can help a bit anyway.

I thought this wasn't a bad start to a story. It's only episode one, but it does a lot to set up what the main series is going to be.

I think my biggest critique is that I don't feel like there's enough actual plot to this episode. It's mostly flashbacks to him when he was young, and the problem with opening with a flashback is that it can feel like we're just having all this character's history and woes dumped on us before we care about them as a person.

But once we've finished his backstory, there's not really a conflict here in the present day. He just shows up at the police station and is introduced to some people, and then the episode ends. An episode isn't like a first chapter in a book - you can't just set stuff up, it has to also be a contained story in and of itself, with rising action and a climax.

I also thought that the scene when the mother died was just a bit overdone, probably exacerbated by your tendency to have all your characters stutter when upset.

Something I noticed is that you have 3 characters whose names start with the letter S, and they're all referred to in the script that way. Personally, I found it a little confusing - I've read advice that says to try not to have any of your characters have names that sound similar and/or start with the same letter, and that's something I'd recommend here.

That's about all I've got for you! I hope this was helpful.




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Tue Aug 09, 2016 6:15 am
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Beryllsmith says...



Eagerly waiting for the next episode...




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