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Mrs. May Chapter 2

by AntonioRivera


It just so happens that I did not meet her that day. Harrison walked back into the room where my parents had left me, stood tall and revered, and said that Mrs. May had to run some errands. But,

“She’ll see you tomorrow little one, don’t worry,” he assured.

So I waited, until the clock read “5:30”. My mother came through the door; her hair much less regal than before, and grabbed hold of my fragile wrist. So I was to wait until, tomorrow, to see her? To a degree, I was disappointed. It seemed climatic when I was there, in a room, waiting for her to come and not knowing how she would react to my acquaintance. But all good things come in time I suppose.

It was now Wednesday, in the middle of the week, and I was to meet this woman, my parents assured. I was brought to the home for the second time, taken into this isolated room as I recollect, and I was not to meet the other children just yet. Not until I met her.

I should mention that I was a scared little boy now. Not scared of my parents, who treated me like a prize; not scared of the suited gentleman whose smile seemed to be painted; and not scared of being social towards the unknown juvenility that I would soon meet. But scared of Mrs. May after what I was told on that Wednesday morning. I remember cavorting with some amusing toys, when, I put on brakes to the sound of the door. Harrison came over, unlocked it and in came another swell gentleman who matched suit and tie with Harrison, just of different color.

“Ahh Harry, how are ya?” He smiled.

“Sal,” they shook hands tightly, “I’m good, I’m good. And yourself?”

“I’m holdin’ up alright,” he held his jacket with both hands by the collar and pulled it outward, “just holdin’ up. Is May here? I’ve been meanin’ to talk to her.”

“She got here rather late last night. I would expect her to stay home, but knowing her, she’ll be here anyway. Maybe around nine’s my guess?”

“Nine you say?”

They glanced over at the clock simultaneously.

“Only ten minutes until. I’ll wait here then.”

“Sounds good. I’ll go get you a drink,” he turned back to Sal, “anything in particular?”

Sal shook his head left to right and frowned. He sat down, legs crossed, pant legs exhausted with his socks showing, and a magazine in hand. I wasn’t sure if either I was unseen by him, or if he did not care to point me out. Maybe because in that room, the reception area, kids were not normally allowed. So I gazed upon his face for some long minutes until he noticed me. He had an old face, but a face that refused to reveal its age in public; a kingly mustache that curled on the edges, and round glasses that, to me, played no part in his sight evident by how he held the magazine many inches away from his face. He looked down and over and saw me there, with a toy in hand, and a handful of my hair in the other.

“Why boy, what do you do in here?”

“Waiting for Mrs. May I guess,” I spoke my first words of the day.

“She won’t be happy, finding one of her eggs in here, when you aren’t s’posed to.”

“I didn’t know that I can’t be in here. Mr. Harrison just put me in here and told me to wait.”

He set the magazine down and adjusted the glass circles that covered his eyes.

“You haven’t met her yet, have ya?” He licked his teeth.

“Not yet, nope.”

“Well I’ll tell ya now, and what I say, ya best remember.”

I laid the toy on the floor and listened to the second best piece of advice I’d ever hear.

“Now Mrs. May ain’t like the other sitters you’ve had in your life iffin you’ve had any. She’s hard, and I mean hard. She watched ova’ me when I was your age, and boy did I learn a lot from her. But she is hard, and vicious, and mean, and cruel, and all, yeah yeah, but still, you’ll learn ya’self some.” He laughed a bit to himself, then looked down onto the floor with a gaze that I could not decipher. “And her old way of speakin’ English sticks to ya. It’ll do the same to a young boy like you I’ll bet.”

I lent my eyes to his in such a deep manner that one would think me to be in a trance. His odd words went in one ear, and out the other, with exception to a few words that I understood. He picked up his magazine once more, and prepared for Harrison to reenter the room. I sat there in my solitude and played those words over in my head. Hard, vicious, mean, and cruel. How much could I express my displeasure for meeting a human such as her? Not enough. I resumed playing with the toy, trying to understand why someone of these qualities would take an occupation such as childcare. But my young mind was not yet trained enough to ponder that. The thought blew away, like a stranded paper on these New York streets. Sal had poured his drink down his throat as he curled his mustache and stood up.

“Is she here yet? I see a car outside that looks exactly like hers,” he tilted his body to look out the window.

“That’d be her,” Harrison confirmed.

I felt a rather, unpleasant feeling grow inside of my stomach. Not one of hunger, nor sickness, but of the fear of confrontation. I was finally going to meet this woman; the witch that I had heard very little about, but enough to steer me away. I crouched over to the window, perhaps to get a glimpse of her face before she was to come in, but could not due to Sal’s body covering her with his embrace. When I heard the front door open, I hid behind a large flower pot, with an elderly plant sprouting from it; wild in its appearance, and wild enough to hide me. They walked in together, laughing and talking about some old times and how he, at a time, waited for her to get home as he did minutes ago.

By her voice, I painted a picture of that priestess I once thought of before. It wasn’t nasty at all; it was a light, Irish filled tongue with a tune to it.

“Oh Sal, I remember those days. What is it that has you waiting here for me?”

“Well May, my family is havin’ a get together, and I was hopin’ that you’d give me the recipe for that delicious ham ya so love to boast about,” he said giggling.

“You hound! That’s what brings you here?”

“Yes indeed. Now ya see what the taste of your cookin’ does to a man!”

By their conversation, I sat puzzled. They were speaking with words I could understand, just not in a way I usually heard them being spoken. Not how my mother and father talked. Not how the people on the streets talked. Not how anyone on television talked, except for those black and white shows from years ago. I tried my best though, to figure out what they were saying.

“Then the recipe is in the kitchen if you really must have it. I’m going to go change out of these clothes, then I’ll be down.”

I received my first glimpse of Mrs. May that Wednesday morning. As Sal joyously walked into the kitchen, I saw her travel up the stairs. The stairs were north to me, so I could only see her backside. She was a large woman, maybe due to the size of her brown coat, maybe not, but from my eyes, I assumed that she was large. She had a matching hat, with a few plastic flowers idle on it. And her gray hair. That was all I could see, for now.

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47 Reviews

Points: 1092
Reviews: 47

Tue Jun 11, 2013 2:16 am
ForeverRebel wrote a review...

I enjoyed this chapter. We finally get to meet Mrs. May. (:

Let's start with things to improve on. I noticed just two things that I would've changed.

Ex 1: "Waiting for Mrs. May, I guess," I spoke my first words of the day.

Change: "Waiting for Mrs. May, I guess," I said, speaking my first words of the day.

Ex 2: "Is she here yet? I see a car outside that looks exactly like hers," he tilted his body to look out the window.

Change: "Is she here yet? I see a car outside that looks exactly like hers." He tilted his body to look out the window.


"Is she here yet? I see a car outside that looks exactly like hers," he said, tilting his body to look out the window.

A few minor grammar mistakes here and there, nothing major.

As for good things, I enjoyed how you portrayed Sal. He seems like a good ol' country guy. (:

Could spice things up slightly, but aside from that, nice job with Chapter 2!

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158 Reviews

Points: 425
Reviews: 158

Sun Jan 27, 2013 7:32 am
Payne wrote a review...

Hello, here for chapter two!

The first thing that struck me was that Harrison appeared to just leave the boy in a waiting room for hours? I've never been to a babysitter, but I don't think standard procedure involves leaving an eight-year-old alone in a room for hours. For one thing, an average eight-year-old would probably go mad from boredom, haha. Is there a particular reason why he has to meet May before he can spend time with the other children? If not, it seems like it would be more realistic for him to be placed with the other children. If it IS crucial that he meets her first, I would suggest maybe having Harrison at least leave him with some supervision, or call one of the boy's parents to come pick him up early. I just can't see a caretaker leaving a small boy alone in a room for a long period of time.

As I said in my last review, there's a lot of unnecessary wording in this chapter as well. However, there's not a lot of information, and what information there is seems to be dumped in all at once. However, you have a lot of solid descriptions in here, too, and the story flow seems to have improved a great deal.

Plot-wise, this chapter is lacking a bit. You've introduced a new character, given us a glimpse of Mrs. May, and added some more mystery around her. But that's about it. I'm not saying you have to have a new thrill or twist every other line, but just something to keep the readers interested. These everyday happenings around the building are interesting in small doses, but right now the story just seems to be meandering, and that can sometimes put readers off.
We readers love depth in a story; what are some of the sounds and smells around the building? Something as simple as the color of the wallpaper and the way light comes in through the windows can really draw the reader into the story.

As I said last time, you have some interesting characters, but your dialogue could use some work; people tend to have a certain manner of speaking, and so do characters. For example, Sal starts off sounding pretty eloquent, but he lapses into rough, sloppy speech while talking to the boy, and is once again talking normally when he's speaking with Mrs. May.

I'm liking your narrator more and more; he seems like a bright kid, maybe with potential for being mischievous, and I can see a persona starting to develop in this chapter. Mrs. May is interesting too, mostly because she seems like a bit of a mystery.

I look forward to seeing what you do with this story; please let me know if you post more!

Happy writing!

Thank you thank you once again! I'm going to keep reading your advice and see what I can plug into the story!

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42 Reviews

Points: 1592
Reviews: 42

Sun Jan 27, 2013 3:16 am
Raelyn723 wrote a review...

Hi again! I liked this chapter too, though there are still some parts that you could improve on.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this when I reviewed the first chapter, but some places in your writing seem a little forced. Maybe because you add in some unnecessary words sometimes. You also have a couple of grammatical errors that you could probably catch if you read over this, maybe out loud so that you can hear if things sound weird.

It was confusing for a while because of this paragraph:

"So I waited, until the clock read “5:30” and that is when my mother came through the door; her hair much less regal than before, and grabbed hold of my fragile wrist. So I was to wait until, tomorrow, to see her? Now Wednesday, on the middle of the week, I was to meet this woman. I was brought to the home for the second time, taken into this isolated room as I recollect, and I was not to meet the other children just yet. Not until I met her."

Personally, I was confused because of the "Now Wednesday, on the middle of the week," part. First off, shouldn't it be "in the middle of the week" not "on"? Anyway, that's grammar. I meant more about the part that it should probably be separated into another paragraph. I suppose I could have skimmed over that part, and that's what led to my confusion, but for the rest of the story I was floundering, thinking "Wait, wait, wait. Didn't you say that he didn't meet her? And now he's remembering meeting her?"

I liked the role of the new character so far, though I think that it is a little odd that he is so friendly with a woman he says is cruel and vicious. Will that be cleared up at some point?

On another note of clearing things up, didn't you say in the first chapter that it was the first time he was being watched by someone other than his mother? You wrote something along the lines of "He realized now that he was at the age when his mother would have to go back to work and leave him with someone to take care of him." or something like that. Then, in this chapter you said twice that Mrs. May was not like the other sitters he had in the past. Was that a mistake, or did I remember the first chapter wrong?

Great story, I can't wait to read more of it! Please keep me updated if you share another chapter, I'd love to read the rest :)
Keep writing

Thanks again! And I should let you know that I edited the story, but forgot to post it up :/ haha! I fixed some things that you mentioned here, so I'll put the edited version later. And I'll also let you know when the third chapter is done!

Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.
— Sir James Dewar, Scientist