Everything you do, Makes me want to come to you

You were there by my side,
All the time
You made me laugh, you made me cry, and you made me smile
Do you see what’s happening here?
Step by step every year
Oh yeah….

You made me crazy about you
Everything you do
Makes me want to come to you
That’s so true
You are my life
I know that I say that all the time
But it’s not a lie

You were there searching for someone
You never knew that I was the one
You just kept on waiting
Until you found the one who was creating
A bond...

You made me crazy about you
Everything you do
Makes me want to come to you
That’s so true
You are my life
I know that I say that all the time
But it’s not a lie

Oooooo
I kept on waiting
You never realised it was me
For whom you were debating
With other people in the scene

I just wanna say

You made me crazy about you
Everything you do
Makes me want to come to you
That’s so true
You are my life
I know that I say that all the time
But it’s not a lie

Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
Anshita
Comment

Thank you.. :)

User avatar
Carlito
Comment

Anshita wrote:You made me laugh, you made me cry, and you made me smile

This is the only line that really didn't flow for me because of how long it is. I would recommend breaking it up. What feels natural to me is:
You made me laugh,
you made me cry,
and you made me smile

Rhyme/Rhythm:
None of the rhyming was too overdone or blatant like 'wow I need rhyme this line with this line, hmm, cat rhymes with hat'. :) So that's good :)
I thought it had really good rhythm, I could hear the song as I read it and except for that one little line, it kept pretty good rhythm throughout the entire song.

Overall:
I thought you did a really nice job. Good subject matter, and good execution of the subject matter. I liked the chorus and the overall message of the song.

-Carly

User avatar
Carlito
Review
Carlito wrote a review · Sat May 23, 2009 5:00 pm

Hiya, Anshita. Welcome to YWS! :D

Before I review this, you gotta do something first. It's really easy, I promise. Just make two reviews. We like to try to keep a 2:1 ratio on reviews to stories here.
Also, go introduce yourself in the Welcome board, cause my fellow greeters (the blue people) want to welcome you and tell you more about the site.
After doing this, send me a PM and I'll be happy to review this for you! :D

-Carly

((PM if you have any questions or need anything!))



It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
— Mark Twain