Okay, now, something else comes into view. A good friend of yours, Want. He's everything you wish for: “blue skies” and “star filled nights”, “flowers” and “skyscrapers”. He comes close, but you feel the need for him to come closer. Suddenly, you remember that's it's not so good to want so much. He fades away in defeat. You take it as a small accomplishment but not for long.
Another figure forms from the emptiness: Doubt. She's bad, but, being the path of least resistance, she can be easily accepted. Being a reflexion of how you feel, she's weak, scared, frail-looking, and she's shaking her head, telling you that you can't. You resist joining her and tell yourself that you can if you try. She goes back to the empty void, from which she had come, in disappointment. You feel relief for a split second before you feel the presence of another one.
Oh no, Fear. It stalks you everywhere you go, and it's hard to escape. It's glaring eyes are all you can see, but images of what it could look like race through your mind. You push the images to the back of your mind and glare back at those eyes. Annoyed, it disappears into the darkness. Weary and wary, you continue on.
Then, like a small child, Love glides towards you. A tender warmth fills you as Love embraces you. Tears of joy and relief fill your eyes when you hug her back. She stays by your side and helps keep you strong in the presence of the others until she's scared off by one of them. You're left crying until she finds you again.
These are a few of my daily problems, and the easiest way for me to fight them off is to keep my actions happy. Please keep this in mind as we go on with the story.
End of chapter
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141,418 Literary Works • 674,396 Reviews
Hey AnnMath, here for a Review Day review,
First Impressions:I'm always worried when I see "prologue" because they are almost never a good thing, so, we'll see.
Positives:
Such an interesting opening. I really liked the first couple of lines as they have a very strong narrative voice of yours, and you've turned "want" which is just a word, into a literal character, which is pretty fun to read.
Negatives:
I think that if you are going to keep turning these emotions and other things into living, breathing things, then you should go full circle and give them gender, and not just use "it" to introduce it's actions. That would feel a lot more personal and true to life.
Overall:I liked it, and will probably keep reading.
I give it:
I didn't give fear a gender because we fear things not people.
Hey AnnMath, it's Oreos here for a review!
First off I like that you have two Prologues. It's unique and I like unique. The way you describe the people as a person really got to me. I thought that this was clever. The imaginary in this was amazing and I really enjoyed it. I think you are going to have a great novel on your hands! One thing that confuses me though is the way you describe her glaring back at fear.
It's glaring eyes is all you can see. I find this pretty ironic considering she is blind. Dry humor. But how does she know what eyes look like, or does she just have an idea? I was just wondering this and thought I would ask.
Overall this was an awesome second prologue.I saw nothing wring with this so congratulations! Please let me know when you continue this, for I would like to read it! Keep writing and I hope to read more of your work in the future!
Oreos
I actually didn't think about the eyes being ironic and I didn't mean for it to be humorous. Usually, in scary books or movies, the characters only see the eyes of the creature or person that is scary, and that's what Emily has accepted to be scary.
Also, all she has are ideas of what things look like. She feels for a "rough sketch" and fills the rest with what she's been told or what she thinks might be.
Cool! Well I thought it was funny, and Ann, I have a peculiar sense of humor. As for the ideas, thanks for explaining it, I get it now thanks!
This is awesome! I love how you describe emotions. I really don't see anything wrong with it. Keep writing!