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E - Everyone

The Great Court Disaster Part I

by AnimalQueen

It all started one fateful Tuesday morning at the Institute.

There was a sound similar to what Alec imagined the roar of an enraged bear would sound like, and Magnus came running down the hallway wearing a yellow silk kimono and glitter in his hair. He was followed by Jace. Alec did a double take. His hair was PINK, and he was screaming bloody murder.

"Magnus @#$##@%# Bane, you $@%&#$$%, you're DEAD!!!"

Alec burst into wild fits of laughter. It didn't stop until he realized that he couldn't breathe, which wasn't very funny at all.

He went to the window, and noticed Magnus had stopped running. He stood there calmly as a VERY angry Jace Herondale leaped at him.

Leaped right into the portal Magnus had opened right in front of himself. Turning to the window, he gave a bow, and Alec nearly died from laughter.

Meanwhile, at Taki's...........

All the customers jumped in surprise as a pink haired man came out of nowhere and faceplanted on there lovely floor.

It just so happened that at that very moment, Isabelle and Maia were having breakfast. When Maia saw him, she got up and poked him with the toe of her boot.

 "Are you dead?" She asked. "If you're dead, can I have your stuff?"

"Of course I'm not dead!" Jace growled as he got up .

 "So, you're saying I can't have your stuff?"

 "Of course not!"

Isabelle squinted and looked down at the stranger. Was that... Jace? His hair was pink. Her brother stressed his golden locks so much it was hard to imagine him with any other color of hair.

 "Jace? Is that you?" Isabelle asked. She still couldn't believe it.

 "YES, IT'S ME! AND MAGNUS BANE IS GOING DOWN!" He roared, then turned and sprinted away.

Both friends stared.

 "In our world, strange things happen everyday, but this is by far the weirdest thing I've seen in my life." Isabelle stated.

 "You said it, girlfriend!" Maia agreed, and the two walked off.

Thinking it best not to interfere with the pink haired man's rage, the other customers went on eating.

Back at the Institute, Alec was training. Magnus was watching T.V., when he heard his phone buzz. It was a text from Jace,the single most annoying person he knew. He wondered what that sinister young man wanted now.

It was a picture of all his new glitter being flushed down the toilet.The warlock gasped.

Dear Magnus,

Fix my hair or your precious Chairman Meow gets it next.

Very Sincerely,

Jace Herondale

This was followed by a photo of his frantic cat splashing around in the commode.

No. No! NO!!! Not Chairman Meow!!! Magnus ran to the training room at top speed.

 "Alexander!" He cried. "We have an emergency!" 

 Alec whirled around. "What is it? Is it demons?!"

 "No, worse!"

 "What could be worse than demons, Magnus!"

 "Jace flushed all my glitter down the toilet, and he says Chairman Meow is next unless I turn his hair blonde again!"

 Alec chuckled. "Well, he did once say he was the size of a hamster, but I doubt-"

 "Alexander, we have to hurry!"

 "Magnus, please, be reasonable. He won't fit, and besides, not all cats hate water. Tigers, for instance -"

 "He's not a tiger!" Magnus opened yet another portal and dragged his boyfriend through it.

The shadowhunter found himself in a room with neon green couches and pink shag rugs. The High Warlock of Brooklyn had redecorated again. Alec paused to take it all in, but Magnus dragged him by his arm to the hallway bathroom.

The warlock could hear the terrified distress cry of his pet, and Jace's evil laughter. (Okay, maybe that part was just his imagination.)

Once in the bathroom, he pointed a quaking finger at the cat's attacker. "You!"

 Jace was not intimidated in the least.

 "Alexander! Get him!" Magnus yelled .

 "Um, say what?" Jace could be really annoying at times, but Alec was pretty sure it was against the law to attack your parabatai over a cat in the toilet.

Speaking of which, the Chairman was still splashing around in it. Realizing this, Magnus rushed in to rescue him. "My poor baby!" He cooed, holding the sopping tabby to his chest. Then, he gave Jace the death glare. "You owe me so much glitter." He said in a deadly whisper. He set his cat in the bathtub.

 "As if!" Jace said. He was a man, and men did not go shopping for glitter. "And aren't we forgetting something here?" He pointed to his head. "My hair is golden, not hot pink."

 "Fine, fine. " Magnus snapped his fingers, and the shadowhunter's hair returned to it's normal shade of blond. Then, he turned his attention back to his pet. "My poor baby. My poor, poor glitter."

 Alec and Jace backed out slowly before things could get any weirder.

No one slept well that night. 

The High Warlock of Brooklyn just lay in his bed, tossing and turning, trying to think of how to make that shadowhunter scoundrel buy him more glitter. This was had because A), he needed glitter (obviously), and B), Magnus looked terrible when he didn't sleep.

There was only one thing left to do.

Magnus sat up, turned on the lights, and dialed his most trusted friend, Catarina Loss.

She answered sounding tired and grouchy. "What do you want, Magnus? It's 3:00 in the morning, for crying out loud! Wait, don tell me. You're out of glitter, aren't you?"

 "No! Well, yes, but that's not it."

 "I can't sleep!"

 "I can't sleep either, because I'm talking to you!" Catarina's voice rose an octave.

Magnus wasn't listening. "And I don't think Chairman Meow can sleep, either!"

 "Felines are nocturnal!" Catarina screeched. "You, of all people, should know that!"

 "Please, Cat -"

 "What do you want me to do? Sing to you?! I have to sleep, too, you know. Oh, and don t call me Cat. I'm not a cat."

 "Please, Catarina? I need you to come over and do a sleeping spell!" Magnus begged his friend.

 "Will you shut up it l do?!"

 "Yes! I promise!"

 "Fine. I'll be over in five."

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1080 Reviews

Points: 99780
Reviews: 1080

Thu Sep 13, 2018 2:28 am
Mea wrote a review...

Hey there! This has been in the Green Room for way too long, so I thought I'd drop by for a quick review today!

So I see that this is fanfiction, though I'm not familiar with the original work, and labeled humor. I think you got the humor part down pretty well! The opening image of Magnus rushing down the stairs in a kimono with pink hair as Jace screams bloody murder was really funny, and so was Jace crashing into the middle of the cafe.

I agree with magiccharm that some separation to show when you changed points of view would have been great. You probably had that separation when you originally copy/pasted this into the publishing center, but sadly YWS deletes extra spaces, so you'll need to put dashes on the empty line or something.

I also think that one of the most important things you can add here is sensory description and overall detail. Obviously you don't want to go overboard, and you still want to draw attention mostly to the details you already have, like the glitter and such, but I think what this story suffers most from so far is moving so fast the reader is left a little bit lost. For example, when he crashes into the cafe, start a few more moments before he falls through, and take that time to set the calmness of the scene. Maybe have Maia be thinking about how relaxing this is, eating breakfast in a quiet cafe, before the chaos starts, and then the contrast will help make it even funnier.

And I think that's about all I've got for you! I really enjoyed the general zaniness of this and how all the characters bounce off of each other and are clearly defined by their reactions to each other's actions - that's not always easy to pull off.

Good luck with this story, and keep writing!

User avatar
24 Reviews

Points: 27
Reviews: 24

Mon Aug 27, 2018 4:15 am
magiccharm2002 wrote a review...

This was great! By far it was one of the best short stories I've ever read! The comedy was absolutely comical! Surprisingly, I was able to relate to this because I've had a simeler experience only they were cutting my hair!

Over all, the flow of the story was very easy to follow and made everything easy to understand. I liked the fact that you changed point of view throughout the story. Although, just as a suggestion for future stories (I am not one of these people but I have friends who are) especially with longer pieces try labeling when you change points of view. This is only a suggestion for it is not truly necessary.

The way you expressed emotion and action, such as he rage and chase scenes were done really well. It would have been nice to see a little bit more description of the setting but besides that I don't see much of anything wrong with it.

Over all, it's a great story and I cant wait to read more of your work!

When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.
— Abraham Heschel