Young Writers Society

A/N This is my first comedy, so tell me what you think!

It all started one fateful Tuesday morning at the Institute.

There was a sound similar to what Alec imagined the roar of an enraged bear would sound like, and Magnus, wearing glitter in his hair and a yellow silk kimono, came running down the hall. He was followed by Jace, the source of the noise. Alec did a double take. Jace's hair was PINK.

He was screaming bloody murder. "Magnus @#$$%@ Bane, you #+#%$#, you're DEAD!"

 Alec burst into wild fits of laughter. It didn't stop until he realized he  couldn't breathe, which wasn't very funny at all.

He went to the window, and saw that Magnus has stopped running. He stood there calmly as a VERY angry Jace Herondale leaped at him.

He leapt right into the portal Magnus had just created in front of himself. Turning to the window, he gave a bow, and Alec nearly died from laughter.

Meanwhile, at Taki's............

All the customers jumped in surprise when a pink haired man came out of nowhere and faceplanted on their lovely floor.

It just so happened that at this very moment, Isabelle and Maia were having breakfast. When Maia saw him, she got up and poked him with the toe of her boot.

 "Are you dead? If you are, can I have your stuff?"

 Jace got up. "Of course I'm not dead!" He growled. 

 " So, you're saying I can't have you're stuff? " 

 "Of course not!" 

 Isabelle squinted and looked at this stranger. Was that... Jace? His hair was pink. Her brother stressed his golden locks so much he looked like a different person with another color of hair. It was weird.

 "Jace?" Isabelle asked. "Is that you?" She still couldn't believe it.

 "YES, IT'S ME! AND MAGNUS BANE IS GOING DOWN!" He roared, then turned and sprinted away.

 Both friends stared.

 "In our world, weird things happen everyday, but that was by far the weirdest thing I've seen in my life." Isabelle stated.

 "You said it, girlfriend!" Maia agreed, and the pair walked off.

Thinking it best not to interfere with the pink haired man's rage, the rest of the customers returned to eating.

Back at the Institute, Alec was training. Magnus was watching TV, when he heard his phone buzz. It was a text from Jace, the single most annoying person he knew. He wondered what that  sinister young man wanted now.

It was a picture of all his new glitter being flushed down the toilet. The warlock gaped.

Dear Magnus,

Fix my hair or your precious Chairman Meow gets it next.

Very sincerely,

Jace Herondale

This was followed by a picture of his frantic cat splashing around in the toilet bowl.

No. No. NO!!! Not Chairman Meow!!! Magnus ran to the training room at top speed.

 "Alexander!" He shouted. "We have an emergency! We have to hurry! Alexander!"

 His shadowhunter boyfriend whirled around, his eyes full of panic. "What is it?! Is it demons?!"

 "No! Worse!"

 " Magnus, what on earth could be worse than DEMONS?! "

 "Jace just flushed all my glitter down the toilet and he says Chairman Meow is next unless I turn his hair blond again!"

Alec chuckled. "Well, he did one way he was the size of a hamster, but I doubt-"

 "Alexander, we have to hurry!"

 " Magnus, please, be reasonable. He won't fit, and besides, not all cats hate water. Tigers, for instance -"

 "He's not a tiger!" Magnus opened yet another portal and dragged his boyfriend through it.

The shadowhunter found himself in a room with neon green couches and pink what rugs. He realized it was Magnus's living room. The High Warlock of Brooklyn had redecorated again. Alec paused to take it all in, but his boyfriend dragged him by his arm to the hallway bathroom.

Magnus could hear the terrified distress call of Chairman Meow and Jace laughing evilly. (Okay, maybe that part was jus his imagination.)

Once in the bathroom, he pointed a quaking finger at his cat's attacker. "You!"

 Jace was not intimidated at all.

 "Alexander! Get him!" The warlock yelled.

 "Umm. Say what? " Jace could be very annoying at times, but Alec was pretty sure it was against the law to attack your parabatai over a cat in the toilet.

Speaking of which, the Chairman was still splashing around in the facilities.

Realizing this, Magnus rushed in to rescue his cat. "My poor baby!" He crooked as he held the shopping tabby to his chest.

Alec and Jace recoiled in horror. 

 "You owe me so much glitter." Magnus said in a deadly whisper. He set his cat in the bathtub.

 "As if!" Jace snorted. There was no way I'm heaven or help us was going shopping for glitter. He was a man, and men did not but glitter.

 "Aren't we forgetting something here?" The shadowhunter pointed at his head. "My hair is golden, not hot pink!"

 "Fine, fine." Magnus saved his hand and Jace's hair returned to it's normal shade of blonde. Then, he returned his attention to his pet. "My poor baby. My poor, poor glitter."

 Alec and his brother backed out of the apartment before things could get any weirder.

No one slept well that night.

The High Warlock of Brooklyn just pay in his bed, tossing and turning, unable to stop thinking  about how to make Jace but him more glitter. This was bad because, A, he needed glitter, (obviously.) And B, Magnus looked awful when he didn't sleep.

There was only one thing left to do.

Magnus sat up, turned on the lights, and called his most trusted friend, Caterina Loss.

She answered sounding tired and grouchy. "What do you want, Magnus? It's 3:00 in the morning, for crying out loud! You're out of glitter, aren't you?"

 " No, well, yes, but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. "

 "Then what is it?!" 

 "I can't sleep!" 

 "I can't sleep either, because I'm talking to you!"

 Magnus was not listening. "And I don't think Chairman Meow can sleep either, Caterina!"

 "Felines are nocturnal! You, of all people should know that!" She screeched. 

 "Please, Cat-"

 "What do you want me to do?! Sing to you? I have to sleep, too, you know. Oh, and don't call me Cat. I'm not a cat."

 "Please, Caterina! I need you to come over to my house and do a sleeping spell!" Magnus begged his friend.I

 "Will you shut up if I do?!"

 "Yes. " Magnus said firmly.

 "Okay." Caterina said, stifling a yawn. "I'll be there in five, but you owe me for this."

 Five minutes later, Caterina showed up at her friend's apartment wearing a faded pink bathrobe and a very tired expression. She scratched her head, messing up her hair even more than it already was. 

 "Thank goodness you're here! " Magnus exclaimed. "I'm so exhausted!"

 Caterina rubbed her eyes and stumbled around the living room. "What was I doing here again?" She asked groggily.

 "You were going to perform a sleeping spell for me." He said. "I haven't gotten a wink of sleep, and I'm exhausted!"

 "Oh. Right." Caterina stifled a yawn. (Again.)

So she performed the spell for Magnus, then promptly passed out from her own sleep deprivation.

Back at the Institute, Isabelle was tossing and turning in her sleep. In her dream, she, Clary, and Maia were in the dining room. She and Maia were sitting at the table, while their friend painted a mural of frighteningly realistic looking flying monkeys. Then, Magnus came running in out of nowhere and threw glitter at everyone. In her surprise, Maia jumped, effectively spilling cranberry juice all over Isabelle's brand new dress!

She woke up panting and clutching her whip. (She had no idea how it has gotten into her bed in the first place.)

Leaping out of it, she dashed into the dining room. Maia, Alec, and Jace were there, but Izzy was only concerned with Maia. She pointed her whip at the other girl, and said in a feral growl: "What. Did. You. Do."

 Maia was baffled. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm sure we can work it out like civilized people, Isabelle."

 "No we can't! You've gone too far this time, my friend."

 "I don't even know what I did that was so bad!"

 " Yes, you do! " Isabelle screeched. "You spilled a drink on my new dress!"

 Alec timidly raised his hand and his sister called on him.

 "What new dress?"

 " Isabelle always has a new dress. Really, she needs to learn how to save her money sometime." Jace commented. He wasn't at all fazed by all the yelling.

 "Shut up!" Isabelle yelled. 

 "Maia wasn't here last night, so she couldn't have done it." Alec reasoned.

 "But I just got up, and she's here now, so she had to have been here last night!"

 Maia pointed at the clock. "It's 10:00, Izzy. I came over for brunch."

 "You probably dreamt it." Alec said.

 "I don't care if I dreamt it or not!" His sister screeched. "She still did it and she's still going down!"

Just then, the Lightwoods' mother, Maryse, walked into the dining room. She immediately backed out. Isabelle and Maia were arguing, Alec seemed to be trying to hide be sliding power and lower into his chair. Jace, as usual wasn't at all affected by the scene unfolding.

 "I don't want to know." She said quietly .

You might think that by now, it would be impossible for things to get any weirder, but I'm going to have to disagree with you on that, because they did.

Simon burst through the doors, pointed at Jace, and shouted: "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY XBOX?!?!?"

 "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."  

Simon lunged, and Alec did his best to sink even deeper into his seat.

Meanwhile, Caterina Loss was waking up on Magnus's living room floor. He had taken the couch and was snoring incredibly loudly. What had happened?

Oh. It all came back to the blue skinned warlock. Caterina's friendship with Magnus Bane, she decided, was really just her as his mother. She stumbled into the kitchen to make coffee.

Caterina found brownies and ice cream in the fridge. Figuring this could be her payment, she decided to take it all with her. Before leaving, she fed Chairman Meow and left a note for her oh-so-selfless host.

Dear Magnus,

You should know that I was very tired last night. MUCH more tired than you were. But I still came over to your house because you needed my help SO BADLY, and you could have just taken a melatonin or something. I also fed your cat before I left. You should be grateful that you have a pal like me.

Sincerely,

Caterina

P.S. I took your brownies and ice cream with me.

When Magnus woke up and saw the note his friend left him, he wasn't happy. There was his breakfast, gone down the drain! Maybe Alec had ice cream.

With that thought in mind, the High Warlock of Brooklyn portaled off to the Institute for breakfast. He never expected to find Isabelle in her pajamas, a large wolf standing among the ruins of what was once the dining room table, and Simon fighting Jace. Something about cranberry juice and an Xbox.

Magnus took a deep breath. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?!?!?" 

 Everybody stopped and stared. Then, they filled him in on what had happened.

 "Oohhh." He said at the end of their story. "That makes perfect sense!"

 "So, what do you think we should do?" Simon asked.

 "Go to court! " The warlock declared.

Court had been the place where Magnus settled The Great Pudding Incident of 1992, but that was a story for another day. It was also a rather sad one, one that he doubted his friends would enjoy hearing.

"Great idea!" Jace said, effectively snapping Magnus back to the present. "Alec, since we're parabatai, you HAVE to be my lawyer."

"About your hair?" He asked nervously. "But I don't want to to up against my boyfriend in court!"

 "Well, you're just going to have to deal with it! " With that, Jace ran off down the hall shouting: "Clary! I'm doing it! I'm gonna sue Magnus!"

After a long debate, the shadowhunters and their friends were able to work out who would represent who in court. Isabelle would be Magnus's lawyer, and vice versa. Clary would be Maia's lawyer, and Jace would be Clary's lawyer. She would also be his lawyer. Then, everyone went off to do their own thing. Everyone except for Izzy and Magnus, who just stayed in the living room.

 "You know" He said to her. "I think Chairman Meow should have his own lawyer, so that he can sue Jace, since he can't exactly talk."

After very little discussion, Caterina Loss was chosen as Magnus's cat's lawyer. He said she would understand the trauma, seeing as she was a cat also.

The warlock was at home, lounging on the couch and watching T.V. She had a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream open next to her. Caterina had already finished off Magnus's brownies.

It was her day off.

It had taken a long, long time to convince her boss that she deserved one. Countless stories of sleep deprivation and chasing after small children with syringes. But she'd done it. Caterina Loss finally had a day off, and she planned to enjoy it.

 "This is gonna be a great day!" She thought. " I'll watch T.V.  till noon, then I can get lunch with Tessa and we can go shopping after! "

It was then that her phone rang.

Now, there are plenty of solutions when this happens. You could just answer it, but Caterina really, really, REALLY did not want to be interrupted. You could also silence your phone, but you'd have to unsilence it eventually. Or, you could simply toss it out the window and let cars run over it. This last option was particularly appealing to our warlock friend, but she knew she'd regret it later. So, after four minutes had past and the phone kept ringing, Caterina groaned, paused her show, and answered it.

Magnus. 

 "Hey, Cat!" He greeted her.

 "Don't call me Cat. I'm not a cat." She said wearily. "You always call me that when you want a favor. Don't think I haven't picked up on that."

 "Oh, but this isn't a favour, it's an honor!" Magnus exclaimed.

 "Well, what is it?"

 "You're going to represent Chairman Meow in court!"

 Caterina took a deep breath. She reminded herself that it wasn't Magnus's fault he was an idiot. When she was sure her voice was steady, she spoke. 

 "Mags." She said gently. "We've been over this many times before. Cats are not sentient beings. Whatever the reason, Chairman Meow does not need a lawyer. "

 "Caterina, he was in the TOILET! My baby was almost flushed down the toilet! "

She rubbed her temples. "Magnus, I got a day off today. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a day off when you work in a hospital?"

 "Uummm...... No?"

 "Exactly. So, no, I will not be representing your cat in court."

 "I'll pay you."

 "You HAVE to pay your lawyer, Magnus." Caterina pointed out.

 "Then I'll pay you more." 

 "How much are we talking here?" She asked.

 "Oh, not much, just 50,000."

Caterina's jaw dropped. "Done! I'll be right over!"

 While The High Warlock of Brooklyn wanted for his friend to arrive, he portaled his cat over. "My poor traumatized kitty." He cooed at him.

 Alec came in then and looked at the bizarre scene in front of him. Magnus was petting his cat while a portal was open directly in the center of the room. His sister was painting her toenails and seemed to have not noticed anything out of the ordinary.

 "Magnus?" He asked his boyfriend.

 "Yes, Alexander?"

Alec looked pointedly at the portal.

 "Oh." He said, as if he had just noticed it. He snapped his fingers and it disappeared.

 "I see you brought the Chairman with you."

 "Yes." Magnus said. "The poor thing is so traumatized that I don't think it's a good idea to leave him home alone."

Chairman Meow stretched, jumped off his master's lap, and rubbed against Alec's legs.

 "What?" Magnus asked. "He's not alone, so he's happy!"

 "If you say so, Mags." Alec smirked and shook his head.

Just then, Caterina walked in. She was wearing bunny slippers and carrying an open carton of ice cream. "I'm here." She said, stating the obvious.

A sparkly megaphone appeared in the high warlock's hand.

 "HEY EVERYONE!!! CATERINA'S HERE AND SHE BROUGHT ICE CREAM!!!

Jace burst into the room and leaped at her with his arms outstretched.

"MY ICE CREAM!!!" She screeched. Magnus winced. He hated it when Caterina screeched.

Jace ran off back down the hall, this time with the ice cream in tow, cackling wickedly.

Isabelle looked up, finally. "Huh?" She said, looking at the scene around her. There was a cat hiding behind Alec, and a blue -skinned, white-haired warlock screaming about her ice cream while Magnus tried to calm her down.

 "How long was I out?" Izzy asked.

The blue lady looked at her strangely. "What do you mean 'out'?"

 "When things get crazy, I tend to go into a sort of trance and block things out."

 "I thought I was the only one who did that!" Caterina shrieked. "I'm a not lunatic!"

Later that day...... 

In the kitchen, Maia and Izzy were having an argument entirely in fridge magnets.

ISABELLE LIGHTWOOD IS  REALLY STUPID

WELL MAIA IS A BIG MEANIE

Clary was watching all of this with great interest. Yesterday had been........interesting. Today, the aftermath was playing out. Clary decided that since everyone was sueing each other, she might as well sue Simon for vandalizing her drawing of Jace so long ago.

Maia was thinking the exact same thing about Jordon hitting her. Nowadays, she could call it sexual harassment and no one would bag an eye. When she voiced this thought, Clary offered to be her lawyer, and Maia accepted. And then, Clary went off to find Jace.

As she had guessed, her boyfriend was in the training room. She watched him for a few minutes, just because he was not and she could.

Finally, Jace noticed his girlfriend. "Oh. Hey there, Clary. What's up?"

 "I'm suing Simon!" Clary declared.

 "What for?"

 "Vandalism! Remember when I drew you and Simon added a few of his own touches? Well, everyone else is suing each other, so I decided I might as well sue Simon. And I want you to be my lawyer. "

That sounded good to Jace. "Awesome!........ What do I do?"

 "Basically, just say that I'm right and everyone else is wrong." Clary explained.

 "I'm good at that." Jace remarked. "Insulting people is my specialty."

 Indeed, it was. The boy had been making rude comments in the cradle. He made rude comments to demons before he killed them. Just ask Alec, or Isabelle for that matter. No one did, but she replied anyway when she heard the conversation.

 "So we've noticed." She said, poking her head around the door. " I'm sick of hearing about my 'CODE RED CODE RED!!!!' and 'BURN THE WITCH!!!!' inducing cooking. " 

"The difference is that he's right." Clary said. Jace looked hurt. Isabelle looked murderous.

 " I've also heard 'OH ANGEL SAVE US!!!! ",  'IS THERE SOMEONE WE CAN CALL!?!??', and a lot of frantic prayers and cursing, which is an odd combination. " 

 "I never said code red code red, that was Alec! "

There was a creak. Izzy flung open the doors, and Alec bolted. His sister's battle cry rang all through the Institute.

 "GGEEEEETTTTTTTTTT HIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!"

Things got ugly fast.

Three days, twenty-nine arguments, fourteen physical fights, and countless visits to the infirmary later, the Shadowhunters and their friends went to court.

Jordon, Maia, Isabelle, Clary, Magnus, Alec, Chairman Meow, Caterina, Simon, and Jace stood together in the lobby.

 "Alrighty, who's first?" The receptionist asked.

 "Well, it's kind of all connected." Clary said.

 " Okay. Oh, and no pets in court. "

Magnus was indignant. "His name is Chairman Meow, and he's a highly intelligent creature. He's suing him." He pointed at Jace.

Caterina rubbed her temples. Jace was giving Alec a pep talk. Isabelle and Maia were wordlessly staring each other down.

The receptionist pulled out a piece of paper. "Okay, Magnus is Isabelle's lawyer, Isabelle is Magnus's lawyer, Clary is Maia's lawyer, Jace is Clary's lawyer, Aled is Jace's lawyer, Maia is Simon's lawyer, Caterina is Chairman Meow's lawyer, and Jordan is speaking for himself. Is that right? " 

 "Yes, um" Jordon looked at the woman's name tag. "Yes Dannielle, I don't want any of these idiots ruining my argument."

Maia raised a hand to hit her boyfriend. 

 "Please save the fistfights for court." Dannielle said. "The other clients find it to be disturbing."

 "WELL THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET!!! " Magnus shouted.

People turned and stared.

 "Right. Your courtroom is up the stairs second door to the left. Can't miss it. "

So, they all went up the stairs and took the second door to the left. As usual, Izzy paraded in like she owned the place. Caterina trudged in, rubbing her temples. Almost everyone else walked in normally. But not Magnus. Magnus just had to make a scene.

He stayed behind for a moment, allowing time for the doors to close. Then, he burst through them dramatically.

 "MAGNUS BANE IS IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!!" He threw sparkles everywhere.

The witnesses coughed as the glittery cloud hit them. They all yelled at the warlock and a little kid started crying. The judge glared at Magnus and hissed through her teeth.

Clary looked up from her sketchbook. "Huh? Did I miss something?"

 The judge banged her mallet. "Order in the court! Order in the court! Everybody sit down!"

 They sat. Magnus made the glitter disappear and a lollipop materialize in the hands of the little boy, and he stopped crying. The judge cleared her throat. "Good. Everyone STAY sitting down, for that matter. I'm judge Warsaw, and there will be no shenanigans in this courtroom." Clary thought she sounded a lot like her kindergarten teacher.

The judge pulled out a very thick stack of papers. "Let's start with the matter of Jonathan Herondale's hair and Magnus Bane's glitter." She sighed. " Mr. Herondale. State your case. "

Jace stood up. "Well, I woke up and took a shower like any other day, but when I got out, my hair was pink." He paused for dramatic effect. "HOT pink. I knew Magnus was at the Institute, and so I knew he had done it."

 "Okay. Would Mr. Lightwood, Mr. Herondale's lawyer, please step forward?"

 Alec stood up and waved tentatively. He shuffled up to the podium looking like he'd rather be doing anything else. CATERINA would go up there gratefully. CATERINA had a cat on her head, and it was shedding.

 "Mr. Lightwood. What do you have to say in defense of your brother's case? "

 "Uummmmm.... W-Well, J-J-Jace has always been vain about his h-hair. "

"Hey!" Jace yelled from the audience .

Alec flinched.

 "Silence!" Judge Warsaw cried.

 "S-So, when Magnus died his hair, he was really upset."

 "That's all you have to say?"

 "Ummm, yes?" Alec squeaked .

 "Alright. How many witnesses are there, and who are they?"

 "Two. Myself and Magnus."

 "Describe exactly what you saw."

 "I saw Magnus come running down the hall followed by Jace, who was screaming bloody murder and had pink hair." Alec decided to leave out his parabatai's exact choice of words.

 "I object!" Jace stood up. " it wasn't just pink, it was HOT pink, which even worse than regular pink! Magnus should be punished severely." 

 "Well uummmm......." 

 "It was just a harmless prank!" The warlock protested. "Alexander, you're on my side, aren't you?"

 "I-I-I, well, uh, um... " Alec stammered. What were supposed to say to your boyfriend while going against him in court?"

 "Jace needs to stop being so vain and worry about things other than his appearance." Magnus continued. He patted his hair nervously.

 "Coming from you?" The shadowhunter retorted.

Alec ran screaming from the room, and Judge Warsaw put her head in her hands. "I believe" She said through her fingers "that the glitter case is next."

Isabelle leaped up from her seat. "I'm his lawyer!" She cried, pointing at the sparkley High Warlock of Brooklyn. 

 "We KNOW, Ms. Lightwood." The judge said, fishing in her purse for an aspirin.

Izzy strode confidently up to the front of the room without being told to.

 "'Kay. So Magnus is at the Institute when Jace sends him a text message of a picture of his glitter being flushed down the toilet. Evidence HERE! " Izzy slammed down the printed out photo in front of the judge. "BOOM!" She mimed an explosion with her hands. "Cue the confetti!"

Judge Warsaw rubbed her temples. "Why, oh, why, did I choose JUDGE as my career?!" She wondered. "Ms. Lightwood, you haven't won yet!! Cue the witnesses! Little Timmy, rise!"

Lollipop boy walked up to the front of the room. Izzy leaped up and held a knife to his throat.

 "Tell me everything you know or your wife gets it!"

 " but I don't have a wife! "

 "Tell me everything you know or your kids get it!"

 "But I don't have any kids!"

 "Tell me everything you know or-"

 "SECURITY!!" Judge Warsaw yelled.

Isabelle was removed from the room (though three men were knocked unconscious) and Judge Warsaw was shocked that almost everyone had slept through all that had happened so far. Ms. Loss was awake but couldn't hear or see because of the way Chairman Meow was clinging to her head. Ms. Fray was also awake but seemed to be in her own world. The world of art. Mr. Bane was drooling in his sleep.

Judge Warsaw took a deep breath. "EVERYBODY WAKE UP!!!!"

"I'm awake! I'm awake!" Jace said, jerking up in his seat.

Mr. Bane woke up yelling "ATTACK!!" And Ms. Fray, who was sitting in front of him, was hit by a barrage of glitter that came seemingly out of nowhere.

 "Hm?" She said, as it coming out of a trance.

 "Alrighty!" Judge Warsaw said, feeling quite happy for the first time since this whole thing had started. "Ms. Lightwood attacked Little Timmy here, and had to be removed. Because of this, Mr. Bane doesn't have a lawyer, which means that this trial is over! And we can't start Ms. Roberts ' trial without her either, so that knocks out another one! And that means I can go home sooner!" She finished gleefully.

Everyone either groaned or cheered, depending on who they were.

 "Next up is Mr. Lewis, suing Mr. Herondale- Wait a minuite!" She exclaimed . "Mr. Lightwood went home, and Mr. Hendale needs his lawyer to go against Mr. Lewis, so we get to go home even sooner!" Simon let out the biggest, longest, LOUDEST groan that Judge Warsaw had ever heard in her life.

"Next up is Ms. Fray, suing Mr. Lewis for defacing her drawing of Mr. Herondale. State your case, Ms. Fray." She said. "MS. FRAY!"

Clary stood up. "I did a a drawing of Jace as an angel, and Simon was jealous, so he added devil horns and fangs."

 "Mr. Herondale" Judge Warsaw said. "What do you have to say in defense of Ms. Fray?"

 Jace stood up and came to the front of the room. "Clary is right and everybody else is wrong!" He beamed, obviously pleased with himself.

The judge banged her head on the table.

Caterina at this point, had grown accustomed to the feeling of a cat on her head. By now, his fur was as much her's as her hair was. She had become one with Chairman Meow. Suddenly, a terrible thought occurred to Caterina. It didn't see like this tiny thing intended to get off her head any time soon. And everything has to do it's business somewhere...

She grabbed him off her head and waved her arm frantically in the air. "Excuse me! Can we please hurry this up?! Please?!"

"I feel you." Judge Warsaw said. She got another aspirin from her purse, swallowed it dry, and turned to Jace. 

 "Mr. Herondale" She said. "If that's what your defense is going to be, then you and Ms. Fray just lost the case to Mr. Lewis and Ms. Roberts." 

 "Lost to Ratboy?! B-But that's not possible!" Jace sputtered. This. Was. Not. Happening.

 "I used to think it was impossible to be that dumb, then I met you!" Judge Warsaw growled.

Shocked, Jace turned to Clary for support. His girlfriend only glared at him.

 Meanwhile, Chairman Meow was still trying to get back up on Caterina's head. The poor warlock was trying to hold him away from her body, and he was clawing her arms and yowling. Almost everyone else was sleeping, which shocked Caterina. 

 "Magnus @#$##@@# Bane" She hissed, reaching in front of her with the cat. "Take him! Are you listening to me?!? TAKE HIM!" She gasped as the cat's claws pierced her flesh again.

 "You're his lawyer! You handle him!" Magnus whisper-shouted .

 "He's YOUR pet, Bane!" Caterina whisper-shouted back.

 "Okay!" Judge Warsaw said, nearly crying with joy. "Just two more cases, then I can go home! Ms. Roberts, Mr. Kyle, please rise!"

 They rose, though Jace was refusing to move and had to be physically pushed away from the podium so that Jordon could stand there.

Caterina had found a solution to the cat-on-your-head problem. Magnus had brought a large box along with him, probably to hold all the glitter he thought he could make Jace give him. Getting Chairman Meow in the box was easy, but keeping Magnus from interfering was not. "Vile oppressor!" He said. "Don't worry, Meow, I'll save you!" He considered using magic, but he had seen what happened to Isabelle, and didn't want to be kicked out as well. 

 "Looney!" Caterina shot back.

Magnus gasped. She. Did. Not. Using the High Warlock's stupor to her advantage, Caterina showed the box across the aisle.box

 "Ms. Fray, what do you have to say in defense of your friend?" Judge Warsaw asked.

 "Uummmmm, don't hit girls." Clary said.

 "And you, Mr. Kyle?"

 "I'm a werewolf. That unfortunately includes anger management problems, but I've been working on it and at this point can be called a regular peace loving hippie." Said Jordan. He was definitely glad that he had decided to speak for himself.

 "Case closed! " Judge Warsaw declared.

 "But-"

 "But-"

 "No buts!"

 "Finally!" Caterina thought. "That took forever!"

 Magnus was currently attempting to reach the Chairman's prison with his foot. It wasn't working.

 "Ms. Loss, please rise. Last case of the day! Thank you, Jesus!" Judge Warsaw cried.

Caterina magically healed the cuts on her arms and straightened her hair. She picked up her makeshift cat carrier, and smirking at Magnus, carried it with her up to the front of the room. He slashed his finger across his neck.

 "MsLosswhatdoyouhavetosayindefenseofChairmanMeow?" The judge said, sounding rather like a machine.

"Cats hate water he's traumatized deeply Jace deserves a slow painful death on wait he and Alec aren't here anymore guess we can all go home now ta ta!" The blue skinned Warlock rattled off.

There was an explosion of confetti as the doors opened for them. There were also screams of:

 "Bring back my cat you nasty traitor!" ,

 "Finally! IT IS SSOOOOOO hard, pretending to be asleep for five hours!" ,

 "We were here for HOW LONG?!?!?!" ,

 "Jordon Franklin Kyle, get back here you @#$%%%#@@$!!!!", and

 "THAT'S your middle name?!?!?! Dude, you're never living this down!"

The friends found Jace, Isabelle, and Alec back in the lobby, right where they had started out. Magnus had calmed down significantly, which worried Caterina.

 "You know Caterina" he said. "I never said WHAT to say. Just to be Chairman Meow's lawyer. So, I'm still paying you."

 "Thank you, Magnus! 

The cat-eyed warlock snapped countless containers of glitter into the room.

"However, I only told you 10,000. Not $10,000!!!" He cackled like a witch. Caterina felt her knuckles go white.

 "MMMAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGNNUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!" She screamed. A security guard began leading people outside.

 "Evacuation plan Alpha, move, move, move!!"

 "Oh you don't want it that's alright, I'll take it for you also Jace I paid with your credit card bye now! "

 "MMMAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGNNUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSS!!!!!!"

"MMMAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGNNUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSS!!!!! "

The warlock jumped through a portal, leaving behind the angry blue-skinned woman and previously pink-haired boy, who vowed revenge.

Two days later............

Caterina finished typing the last words in "The Great Court Disaster" and hit publish. 

"This is gonna be great!" Jace squealed . They highfived.

Magnus was going to be very upset when he got back from Australia.