Published April 1, 2010
You were there for me
always by my side
so cheerful, caring, kind
I held you tighly
my one and only
nothing but memories.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,413 Literary Works • 674,393 Reviews
Hi, AnNguyenLe! This is Kitty here to review your poem!
Firstly, I think you need to add more punctuation. Otherwise, it feels like the no-comma poem cannot be brought to a stop until the precious period arrives. Ahh....
Period?
Anyway, the genre by now sounds like romance doesn't it? Huh?
Nitpick: Tightly is spelled incorrectly.
Next - the last line feels alone or like it's a stand alone stanza, not part of one. The punctuation could be a problem. I heavily suggest!
This poem had a ton of potential, and the title had some too. Instead, you quickly sped through this without a lot of effort. Carefully read your work before submitting!
Keep writing!
~Kitty
Hey! I just had a few comments.
First, this needs to be punctuated. Right now it's got very little, almost done, and it makes no sense. Right now the only think that defines it and makes it readable are the line breaks. Otherwise it would look like this:
...Yeah. If it helps, when you write poems in the future, think of them as paragraphs with line breaks and rhythmic value. Otherwise you've got practically nothing.
Also, the poem is a tad generic. Love poems are so common that they've practically become their own genre, and yours doesn't add anything or make it unique. The ending just seems kind of rush, and the ending isn't sweet like it's supposed to be. We know so little about your narrator, and then you want us to sympathize with her? Maybe you could explain what happened to the boyfriend.
Good Luck Revising!
-Elinor
Hi there! This is going to be a very short review because I'm pressed for time. But let's start!
Sorry, again for this tiny review.
I think the main thing I need to mention right now is your punctuation. This poem needs some kind of punctuation at the end of (most) of the lines. If you did that, your message would be more clear and enjoyable.
-Knightley
Hey there.
I really like this poem. It's short and sweet with a touch of beautiful imagery. *clicks 'like'* There's no much to nitpick so if you post more, I'd love to know.
Thank you for making me smile and for the short, sweet and beautiful poem.
~Scarlett.