Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.
"The day when the whole world went to shit started just like any other day in life. I was 16 years old and it was a Saturday. I was doing what any sane person would be doing at 7am and sleeping which is why no one noticed. The mold had grown overnight and was still a nice shade of green, which meant it fit in with the natural ecosystem around us. No one had noticed the tiny tendrils of silky white coming out of the center until it was too late and by then, the spores had already spread too far for it to be stopped." I stopped and looked at the tiny face of the 6 year old in front of me.
"You're not supposed to use bad words" was the only response I got. I sighed and tucked him in again, stopping only to kiss his forehead before continuing on.
"Jayden, let me finish the story first and ill put a dollar in the swear jar after" I said to him, he nodded and cuddled further into my side as i continued.
"Like I said it was just like any other Saturday. I got up at 8am as i normally did. First thing was breakfast and chores, When I had finished that I retired to my room to read a book. I could hear my little brother playing the the backyard it was perfect. It wasn't till around noon that we knew something was wrong..."
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My dad burst through my bedroom door, I glanced at my clock and realized it was noon. Then I noticed him pulling anything he touched off shelves and tossing them all into a large duffle bag.
"Dad what the fuck??? Stop what are you doing to my room?!" I yelled while getting up to try and stop him. He pushed me back gently and sighed before going back to toss things into the bag. I rolled my eyes and walked to go downstairs to tell mom and maybe get a snack.
"MOOOOMMMMMM" I yelled as I heard a crash from my room which prompted me to run down the stairs. My mom met me at the bottom of the stairs, she was holding my 5 year old brother on her hip and both of them had backpacks on.
"Honey, go get your shoes and grab coats for you and Jayden, and be fast about it, your father and I will explain in the car, just do what we ask right now." She said, I opened my mouth to demand they tell me now but the look of fear in her eyes had me speechless. I'd never seen my mother look so pale or wide eyed. I turned on my heel and ran back upstairs to grab what she asked me to.
I scrambled to find my shoes amongst the wreckage in my room. Dad had apparently torn all the shelves down and the bar in the closet that held my clothes was broken on the closet floor. I pulled my shoes on, grabbed the few things off my nightstand and pulled my dark brown hair into a ponytail before running to the downstairs closet to grab the coats.
I was halfway down the stairs when an ear-piercing scream came from the kitchen. By the time id gotten to the bottom of the stairs my little brother had run from the kitchen crying and clung onto my pajama bottoms. I picked him up and slowly made my way into the kitchen. I wish I hadn't. I immediately turned Jayden's head so his face was against my shoulder and he couldn't see anything.
The first thing I noticed was the backpacks and duffle bag on the ground with the bow and arrow sets my dad had gotten me. The second thing I noticed was what made me wish I'd just gone and ran the second my dad started wrecking my room. I saw my father standing over my mothers mutilated body. His back was turned towards me and he hadn't noticed me yet there was something white on his head and arms now that hadn't been there 3 minutes ago. so I backed up until the kitchen was out of sight and I hit the front door. I put Jayden down.
"You remember the crawlspace under the house? The one we use when we play hide and seek with mommy and daddy?" I asked him while trying to make sure dad hadn't come out yet. He nodded "I need you to go hide there. stay there and don't come out until I get you ok?" he smiled and I opened the door as quietly as I could, cringing when the hinges let out the smallest squeak. I looked around first before letting him run out. as soon as I saw him crawl under the house I shut the front door quietly and ran for the weapons closet my parents kept in their room. There was no way I'd be able to grab my bow and arrows without being seen or heard. I quickly unlocked the safe and pulled two hand guns and some ammo and a bow and arrow id never seen before, it was hand carved and upon further inspection had my name carved on the handle. I grabbed the matching quiver with arrows and ran back downstairs taking two at a time. When I reached the bottom I took a second to muster the courage to do what I did next.
When the bolt hit my dad in the back of the head it was suddenly quiet. my mothers evicerated body in front of him. The only sound was the drips of blood coming off his hands. The he fell and it sounded like the largest crash had just happened. I stood there a moment more, weather it was to make sure he didn't get back up or it was shock at what'd just happened. I managed to make myself move quickly. Mom had been in the middle of packing food. I pulled my phone from the pocket and dialed 911 and got nothing but silence. I grabbed the bags all over the floor, and finished shoving every food container that didn't have blood all over it before grabbing the weapons and coats and getting the hell out of the house. I needed to get Jayden and get us both out of this area. I didn't know what had caused dad to kill mom, I didn't know why I couldn't get a damn signal on my phone, but I knew that if I didn't get us out of there we were going to be killed by whatever or whoever came across us next.
I spent the next year keeping us alive. We lived in the woods. For the first week Jayden came with me everywhere while I scouted out the areas surrounding us. I tried so many different phones that we found trying to get in touch with anyone. We didn't see many people and the ones we did see weren't the type you'd want to be near. As time passed I started teaching Jayden to protect himself from the infected. After I was certain he'd be ok without me I would leave to scout or gather some food. I never went far and I was never gone long just in case. I noticed after a few months that the mold that'd been growing was turning white. I figured the new mold growing had to be part of what happened. Every infected we saw had what appeared to be the same white mold growing out of wounds and on top of their skin.
Jayden came with me on nearly every single trip I had to make to a store or a house for things I couldn't make or find on my own. After a while we had a wonderful treehouse. from what id gotten to see of the infected behavior they cant climb anything. Its why my father broke my shelves when he turned. I was careful and I made sure Jayden was careful to not touch the mold at all.
"Julie, why do we have to live out here?" Jayden asked on his 7th birthday, 2 years after the world died. I was sitting next to him in the stream. It was summer and hot out, I'd done scouting and checked everywhere I could before we climbed down from our home, as always my bow and arrows sitting behind us on some rocks. I sighed.
"Jayden, we live out here because its easier for me to hear and know when the infected show up. if we lived in one of the houses we get supplies from we'd be dead in a day. Houses are loud, out here sounds mix with the wildlife and wind." I said. He watched the water rush through his toes before talking again.
"When are mom and dad gonna come get us?" He asked finally. He'd been asking the same question at least once a week since we ran. My heart felt like a icepick had been jammed and twisted in it. I sighed before giving him my usual excuse.
"When they can Jayden. They told me to keep you safe until they find a settlement of other survivors." I could tell he was frustrated with my response.
We sat in silence for a little longer before I got up. "I'm gonna go see what meats we have in the cool stash. Do you want something specific?" I asked.
"I want rabbit again!" he said excitedly our conversation earlier forgotten in an instant. I smiled and grabbed my bow and arrows before making my way to our makeshift fridge which was really just a deep freeze filled with ice that I'd taken from one of the stores I'd explored.
"You better go up and get some dry clothes on then Jay" I called over my shoulder I waited until I heard the ladder being pulled down
When I reached the fridge I opened the door and started rummaging around for some rabbit to cook for dinner. The breeze was cool on my damp skin, I could feel that it was going to get dark soon. I was not prepared for what happened when I closed that door.
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Hey, just here with a quick review.

Well, that's a rather interesting way to start a novel. It certainly comes across as unexpected. This chapter just seems to ramp up in violence as the chapter goes on. You did great to describe The feeling of panic in both the parent's actions and faces and the sight of the dad standing over the mom's body really felt like something out of a horror movie.
This entire chapter does have a horror feel to it. I also like the neat detail that their house has a weapons cabinet and a hiding spot. It just makes the world they live in feel like it's been like this for a while and the people who aren't infested have had to adapt and defend themselves. The lives of those who aren't invested are really the aspect I am most intrigued by and it's always great to establish your enemy early on and give us a reason to root for your main character.
I do wonder when Julie will tell Jayden that his parents are dead but the more anticipating part is how she'll tell him. Or will he find out on his own? Something that felt weird to me was that amongst the infested, the local store was still running? Considering how houses aren't ideal because they're noisy, wouldn't stores be a bigger hotspot for infested?
All in all, I think it's a great opening chapter to your novel and I look forward to reading more.
As always, thanks for the read and keep writing.
The Reaper sends his regards
I was actually debating putting in that Julie is just finding abandoned stores and taking what she can use and find in them but felt like itd feel like i was going too into details.
Hey! Salis here with a review!!
That was one hell of a chapter to start off a story with!
There is this feeling of uneasiness throughout the whole chapter which makes for a great atmosphere. The building of the suspense to the point where Julie's father kills her mother was brilliant. I love that at first we get an understanding of the situation not so much through the main protagonist's reactions but through those of the people around her - her father not saying anything as he burst through the bedroom door, her mother looking more pale and wide-eyes than ever. All of this goes to show how serious things are.
The characters need to quickly adapt to the extreme circumstances they've found themselves in and that makes their experience all the more engaging, especially considering they're a 16-year-old girl and a 5-year-old boy (when the story starts), all alone in a violent and rather strange world.
I'm really interested in the effects this white mold has. Does it just change people's behaviour and make them more violent than usual or can it affect them in other ways as well? Can't wait to find out more. Also love the detail about the infected ones not being able to climb, explaining the father's actions earlier which I thought were just an example of him losing his mind at first.
It's impressive these two have managed to survive on their own for two years, probably thanks to Julie's resoursefullness, so I hope nothing's going to happen to them now.
More stress seems to be on the way for her however with that cliffhanger at the end so I look forward to seeing what happens next!
Keep it up!
wow...