Young Writers Society

“Felicia, how many times have I told you to please throw away the empty milk carton, and not put it back in the fridge?”

“Loads mommy.”

I sighed, and picked her up.

“Off to school we go.”

Felicia was often times made fun off for not having a dad in her life. It was the one thing I couldn’t give her. I mean, of course she had a father, but I hadn’t seen him in eight years or so.

I never did tell my daughter why she didn’t have a dad. Sometimes, it was even too complicated for me to understand.

Eight years ago

I ran. I ran and ran until my legs were sore, and I couldn’t feel them anymore. I looked behind me, but my persecutor was still behind me. I looked onward and kept running, and my throat was sore from all the sudden cold air, and my head was pounding when-

I tripped over my own feet and ended up sprawled on the floor. The woman got closer to me, looking at me as if I was prey, and when she was close enough, her eyes turned completely black. There were no words to describe my fear.

I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for my end-though it never came. I slowly opened my eyes, and there was a man fighting with the woman with the black eyes, and he seemed to be winning. The man in the trench coat pulled out a knife, and in the gleam of moonlight, I saw strange inscriptions on the blade. He sunk it deep into her neck, and she didn’t die immediately. Her eyes flew open, as did her mouth, and inside her something crackled like lightning, and her inside was lighting up. I put my arm over my mouth-a mangled scream and it was over.

I looked up to see the man with his hand extended to me. He was in a white shirt and a blue tie. I must’ve still been shaking, because he kneeled a bit, and I saw his eyes were the prettiest blue I’d ever seen.

“I believe you’re frightened right now. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you, I promise.” His voice was deep and soothing. I shakily put my hand in his, and he helped me up.

“Wh-who are you?” I asked.

“My name is Castiel.”

I’d never forget his name; not now, not ever.

“I’ve never heard that before. My name is Cassandra.” I introduced myself, and then looked up at him. “What happened just now?” I needed to know.

“I’ll explain along the way. Where do you live?”

And so, he explained everything. That woman was a demon, and he was angel under commands to kill the demon. He got there just in time too.

“Do you want to come upstairs? I need to repay you. Please. You saved my life. It’s the least I could do.” I offered, but he didn’t seem to want to.

“I don’t need you to pay me back, or anything like that. Honest.” Castiel replied.

“Please?”

“Alright.”

He seemed stiff, awkward. As soon as I got home, I tried to make him feel more comfortable. I made dinner, and though he said angels don’t need to eat, he didn’t leave a thing on the plate.

“I’ve never experienced this, you know. Human contact.” Castiel explained, and I smiled softly.

“I guess you haven’t been on Earth for long.” I reasoned.

“That’s where you’d be mistaken, actually.” He replied. “I’ve been on earth for thousands of years, but this is the first time I’ve spoken to a human properly. And one of the only times I’ve seen honest kindness, thank you.” I was sitting next to him on the couch, and we were getting closer and closer. He seemed to be mimicking my actions, leaning in as well, and I had one hand cupping his face.

“Then, I guess, this is your first kiss.” I whispered against his lips, heart racing.

“You wouldn’t be wrong.”

He was basically immobile at first, but then softened, letting me deepen the kiss. I moved my hands up and down his sides, and undid his shirt buttons.

“Come,” I whispered, beckoning him to the bed. “trust me.”

And so, for someone with no experience, I embarked on the most passionate night of my life. We were one entity all together, I didn’t know where I ended and where he began. It could have lasted days, hours, weeks, years, seconds, centuries, minutes, millenials-in his arms, time stopped. 

He said angels didn’t need to sleep, but that night, I curled up into his side, kissed him goodnight, and we both fell into what I wanted to be an eternal slumber.

The next morning, he was gone, to my dismay, but he did leave his phone number carved into the table. Though, I did not know for what purpose, because not once did he pick up the phone. Not when I called over and over, not when I left him over one hundred voicemails when I found out I was pregnant. I even began praying to him in my later stages of pregnancy, but he never once answered. I was so scared, so frightened, and so-alone. My parents were already too old to travel overseas to come here, so I had to try to cope with everything on my own. I never went out with anyone-no one wanted me. I dealt with everything alone, even having to work two jobs whilst heavily pregnant since I didn’t get a paid maternity leave and I had to pay the rent, and now feed two mouths.

They were tough times, and once Felicia was born, I stopped praying. I had given up. What was the point? He never answered anyway.

Felicia was thought of as odd, since on father’s day she made me a card. I acted as if I didn’t know what the other moms whispered about me at school meetings, how they called me a slut for conceiving my daughter during a one night stand. How they found out is still a mystery to me.

“Goodbye honey, love you! Don’t forget, mumma’s picking you up from school today, okay?” I told her, quickly kissing both her cheeks.

“You pick me up everyday mum.” She looked up at me, and I saw him in her eyes, that iridescent blue.

“I know sweetie. Off you go! Look, Liza is waiting for you at the door already.” I hugged her quickly and she quickly ran over to her friend, giving her a hug, smiling along.

I went back to the car and left for work. I worked at an office, and though it wasn’t the best of jobs, it paid well, so I couldn’t complain.

“How’s Felicia, Cassie?” Mark asked, rolling his chair into my cubicle.

“Felicia’s doing fine. She started school again after the holidays last week. How’s your husband?” I asked, and he blushed and looked down at his feet. Mark and I had become quick friends, and he was the only one who I told my...supernatural affair to. He always blushed when asked about his husband, it was adorable.

“He’s-he’s-” He smiled nervously, and I finished for him.

“I’m glad to see you’re both doing well.”

At lunch time, I left to go pick my daughter up from school.

“Mumma, mumma, look at this!” She came up to me, running as fast as she could on her small feet, and I kneeled down to her height.

“It’s beautiful dear!” I exclaimed. It was a drawing of me and her, and though they were stick figures and my hair wasn’t represented in the best way, I still thought it was the most beautiful thing ever.

“You know where I’m putting it? In my office, in front of the big computer, next to my big person homework, so everyone can see it.” She smiled happily then hugged me.

Speaking in terms she’d understand was a thing I had to do, and every now and then I’d refer to my paperwork as ‘big person homework’, which seemed to annoy some people, but I just couldn’t help it sometimes.

When we got home, I reheated some leftovers, and after helping her with homework, I went back to work in my room.

I generally put CD’s on whilst working, it helped me think.

Half an hour into drafting a contract, Felicia knocked on my door and walked in.

“Mum, there’s a man at the door. He says it’s ur-urguent-urcent-he wants to see you.” I was a bit alarmed, to say the least.

I walked downstairs, my daughter trailing behind me. I reached for the doorknob steadily, and opened the door.

And there he stood, in the same clothes as when we met, a trenchcoat and a white shirt.

“Cassandra.”

Hearing my name from his lips was foreign, like a distant memory, and every bit as painful.

“Castiel.” His name sounded unfamiliar, like the words were heavy on my tongue. I hadn’t spoken his name out loud in what seemed like centuries.

I quickly rushed Felicia up to her room, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the angel smile sadly.

“Come in.” I offered quietly, stepping out of the way. I closed the door after him, watching him look at everything with curiosity.

“You moved out of your apartment.” He observed, quite obviously.

“I got a better job.” I replied simply.

He looked the same as that night eight years ago, but different all the same. He looked tired, and worn, as if he’d seen and faced everything there is to this world. His features were hardened and his voice was deeper, more determined.

I finally plucked up the courage to tell him what had been on my mind. Not all, but one of the biggest questions. “Why are you here, Castiel? Because I’m certain you haven’t come to talk about my new place.”

“It’s about your daughter.” Castiel stated. I wanted to correct him, say she’s his daughter too, but he cut me off with three very worrying words. “She’s in danger.”

“What do you mean she’s in danger?” I asked, worried.

“Felicia-she’s a Nephilim. Part angel, part human. She poses a great threat to angels, not because of the immense power she carries, but because using the Ritual of Sacred Murder, any blade dipped in her blood and then burned in holy fire would grant the wielder almost unlimited power. As soon as enough angels know of her existence, she’ll be hunted down and killed. As for you and I, our fate lies unknown. I’ve never looked into it, but I’m sure there is a price to pay for fathering a child with a human, though it was unintentional.” He explained, calmly, almost too calm.

“Wait, wait, wait. Where do you expect us to go? What do you want us to do? What powers? She’s seven, the only thing she’s a threat to is jelly beans for crying out loud.” I was heating up, worried, frustrated, overwhelmed, wether it be by the apparent deadly threat to both Felicia and me, or just his presence.

“I can ward you against angels, but I don’t know about your daughter. It will be a little painful to you, but for her it might be unbearable-”

“Stop.” I cut him off. “Stop speaking as if she wasn’t your daughter too.”

“Fine. Our daughter. She might be wounded in the warding process. It involves writing on your ribs.” He said the last part in a more quiet voice.

“What? Castiel, I need time to think about this.” I rubbed my forehead, beginning to feel dizzy. “You need to leave, I can’t think right now.”

“Cassandra, look at me.” He gripped one of my arms and forced me to look straight in his eyes, and I felt myself flood with emotion. Pain, feelings, guilt, hurt. His eyes were the same shade of heavenly deep blue, but instead of the innocence they held when we met, they too, were hardened. His gaze seemed to pierce straight through me. Again, hearing his voice say my name struck an arrow through my stomach. “Time is of the essence. Felicia is not safe here, and I need your help to do this. I want to protect the both of you, and I cannot do it without you. I’ll etch some hidden angel warding sigils on your house, but be aware their power will be of barely any use after a few days. Call me if you change your mind, my number is the same.” And with that, he dissipated into thin air, my head spinning as I rubbed my arm.

It was a week later I called.

I was woken up by a sound, a window breaking, but not mine. Felicia’s.

I ran to her room, and saw her get out of bed, running towards me. I also saw the woman in the room.

“Felicia, run downstairs, quick, and don’t look back. Mommy’s going to be fine.” I rushed her downstairs and she obeyed, leaving to her hiding place in the kitchen.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” The woman was young, with dark blonde hair tied in a ponytail and brown eyes. She smiled at me, a sinister smile that was filled with sarcasm and mocking.

“Get. Out. Of. My. House.” I said through gritted teeth.

“Oh really? What are you going to do? You’re nothing but a mere mortal. And a slutty one, might I add.” She remarked, almost bitterly.

“Excuse me?”

“Like I don’t know you slept with Castiel, or that your daughter is, well, one of a kind. In fact, she’s the reason I’m here.” She came closer to me, and I backed up. I saw her draw a blade from her sleeve, a very sharp one at that.

“My life is my buisness. I don’t know what you want with my daughter, but you are not getting near her.” I backed up against the corridor wall, looking for anything to use to protect me.

“Not anymore, Cassandra. I’m going to torture you, then kill your daughter, then kill your angel lover because it’s just too much fun.” She savoured the last words and then struck, trying to stab me but I ducked and launched myself at her, sending us both on the floor. The blade rolled out of her hand and onto the floor a few metres away.

I pushed her off and scrambled to get it, but she was faster, and pushed me down with her foot, stepping on the back of my knee, hard. I screamed out in pain, but crawled further a bit more and tripped her over. She too fell, and I tried standing up as quickly as possible. I felt something run down my nose and onto my lip. Blood.

I rushed to get the blade and took it in my hand. The woman launched herself at me once more, but I struck her with the blade in the stomach. She lit up, as the demon did, but with a pure white light. Her limp body fell beside me, staining the wood in blood.

I pulled out my phone, and dialled the number I had memorised by heart.

“Hello?”

It was the first time in eight years he answered, and though I had longed for this moment for so long, right now, these weren’t the conditions I had expected to be calling in.

“Castiel, it’s Cassandra. I need your help.”

“It’s impossible. I warded your house completely, I-” Castiel was walking back and forth, pacing on the lawn. I had sent Felicia away with Mark and Andrei for a few days. I sensed nothing could have come from this.

“It’s not your fault Castiel.” I was awake, even though it was one a.m.

I was as shocked as ever, my hands trembling.

“I know. Word has begun to spread, in a few days, I’ll have a price on my head. I’m being blamed for creating a weapon against heaven, as if it was intentional, as if, as if-”

He was pulling at his hair, his hands clenching and unclenching.

“Stressing out won’t help either of us. We need to do something about this, but right now, our options seemed limited. Ward me, Castiel.” I asked with shaky breath.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

I swallowed, and he put a hand on my chest. The angel closed his eyes, and all of the sudden I felt something on my ribs, like I’d been punched. I gasped, and fell forwards. Castiel caught me, his hands around me and on my back. It was the closest we’d been in forever, his face dangerously close to mine as he put me back on my feet.

“Thanks.” I muttered, and he pulled back, gently, pulling his arms from around me.

“No problem.”

It was even more awkward now. Could he still feel? What was I feeling? It had been a few days, a few days in so many, and here we were, being awkward because he’d stood too close to me. I still hurt.

“So, what now?” I asked.

“Now we take both you and Felicia out of here, far away. Somewhere safe. But not right now. I have someone I need to go see.” He disappeared once more, leaving me alone on the lawn.

I’m in a ballroom, golden walls and a golden floor, a large chandelier above my head. There’s people moving around, it’s all a flurry of colour, dance music, and fancy clothes. I look down, and I’m in an emerald green dress that reaches the floor. It hasn’t got any sleeves, but it does go up to my shoulders. The top part is see through, and my hair is loose, but still curly. I spot him then, in the crowd, in a suit instead of his trenchcoat. His eyes are bright, full of colour, full of life as he moves towards me.

“May I have this dance?” He asks, bowing down a little and I put my hand in his.

“Of course.”

And then we're dancing like I've never danced before, my feet seemingly have a mind of their own as we move and he lifts me up in the air and twirls me around. I've never seen him smile so much and I’m smiling right back, I’ve never been happier. He pulls me in close to him, and puts a hand on the small of my back.

“Where are we, Castiel?” I ask, and he lifts me up in the air once more and then bends me down low, so his lips are as close as they can be to mine without touching.

“Paradise.”

We’re getting lost in moving, in music, in feeling, in each other. My heart, it’s racing, and then he stops, and we’re leaning in closer and closer to each other-

“Wake up, Cassandra.”

Someone’s shaking me gently. I opened my eyes to see Castiel on the side of my bed, sat on on the chair next to it.

“Jesus Christ Castiel, have you been here all night?” I asked, propping myself on one arm.

“No, but I have been for the last two hours.” He stated, getting up and heading to the door. “I’m leaving in ten minutes-with or without you. Pack anything you might need, like books and such. I already got your clothes there.”

His tone of voice had turned hostile to say the least.

I got up and out of bed quickly, and got dressed. I skipped breakfast, I didn’t need it anyway. I felt like throwing up almost permanently.

“Where are we going?” I asked, putting my coat on.

“We’re going to go pick Felicia up, then we’re going somewhere safe, where no one can find you.” Castiel replied shortly.

“Alright.” I didn’t even bother saying anything else, I wouldn’t have gotten far.

We got in his car I didn’t even know he owned, and I stared out the window as I gave directions, silently saying goodbye to this whole life I had built up to have Castiel-once again-break it down.

“Mommy, where are we going?” Felicia asked, getting in the backseat with her bag and her teddy bear.

“We’re going on a holiday.” I couldn’t explain all this to her.

“Mommy, that’s the man from the front door the other day. Who is he?” She asked, and I looked at Castiel to see what seemed to be-pain?-flash momentarily in his eyes.

“He’s an-um-” what was Castiel to me? Sure, he was the father of my daughter, but we were never a thing. We were never dating, going out, in a relationship, but we weren’t a one night stand either, we weren’t a drunk mistake, he wasn’t a fling. “he’s an old friend.” I settled with that, and Felicia seemed content with that answer, quickly falling asleep. It was very early, six in the morning, and I too drifted to sleep. Though this time, thankfully, it was dreamless.

When I woke up, it was raining heavily, and we weren’t there yet.

“How much longer mommy?” I heard our daughter ask.

“Just a little bit more.” Castiel replied for me, and I handed her my phone so she could entertain herself whilst we got there.

We parked in a garage, and after getting my phone back, I got out. We had been driving all day, only stopping to go to the bathroom, so it was already around seven in the evening.

The garage held other vehicles, like old style motorbikes and cars, and then I realised we parked next to a-very shiny-1967 Chevrolet Impala.

“Follow me.” Castiel said in a flat voice, and we followed him through hallways and corridors, until we got to a...library?

“Sam, Dean, this is Cassandra and Felicia.” Castiel introduced us flatly to the two men in the room, sat at a large table. They both stood up to greet us, shaking my hand and waving at Felicia as she shyly waved back.

“Hi, I’m Sam Winchester.”

“And I’m Dean Winchester.”

Sam was the taller one, with long hair. He had a welcoming smile, smiling adorably at Felicia. Dean was a bit shorter, with shorter hair. He had more of a smirk than a smile, but he seemed like a nice guy too.

“I’ll go show you each to your rooms.” Sam said, and I took Felicia’s hand in mine and trailed after Sam.

“How long have you known Castiel?” I asked Sam, out of sheer curiosity.

“Quite some time,he’s one of my best friends. you?” He answered. I don’t know for how long I’d known him, to be honest. Eight years? A week? One night?

“It’s a bit-difficult to explain.” I smiled nervously, and he smiled back and didn’t ask anything further, thankfully.

“Castiel brought your stuff here yesterday, and put it in the wardrobe over there. Felicia’s room is the one opposite yours. If you need anything, the library is down this hall to the left, and down the stairs.” Sam explained, and I nodded, muttering a quiet ‘thank you’.

My room was quite big, with a queen sized bed, and a large wardrobe to the left. To the right, there was a door which led to a bathroom, full with a shower/bath, and a sink and mirror, as well of course as a toilet. The room colour was white, and the sheets black. The floor was clean, white tiles and a dark grey rug under the bed. There was a bedside table by each side of the bed, each with a lamp, and two drawers. Some shelves were above the bed, on the wall, and others on the part of the wall the wardrobe didn’t take up.

Whilst Felicia sat on my bed, I opened the closet. Most of my clothes were here, hung up neatly or folded. My shoes were at the bottom. There were some drawers under the shelves were the clothes were folded, and they were all empty except for a plastic bag at the top, filled with all my underwear, bras, and lingerie. I blushed darkly at the thought of Castiel going through my lacy lingerie and such, and I found a sticky note inside the bag.

“‘I didn’t know what to do with this, thought you would be a more appropriate person to keep this.’ -Castiel”

Was written in messy handwriting on it. I kept it all in the bag for now.

We went to check Felicia’s room. It was smaller than mine, and I saw Castiel had moved her unicorn poster into the room. It was a soft yellow, and her bedsheets were a pastel purple. She too had her own bathroom, but it only had a bathtub, without the shower feature. We spent the evening putting her books on the shelves, and arranging her plushies and toys. By the time we finished, it was already late-at least for Felicia.

“Mommy, can you leave the night light on?” She asked, and I nodded.

“Of course sweetie. Good night.” I kissed her forehead and closed the door slowly.

Once I got back to my room, I arranged everything too, and put everything in place.

I had three missed calls from Mark and two from my boss. I sent Mark a text and then left my phone charging before getting in the shower for a long time. I had to think about everything. My life was never going to be the same, not after this.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel, and then heard voices coming from downstairs.

“Do you even know how long they’re going to be staying?” That sounded like Dean.

“I-I don’t know.” Castiel replied.

I stilled, and listened carefully.

“Cas, this-hunting is no environment for a seven year old.” Sam intervened.

“I know, alright? But-they’re basically all I’ve got remotely close to a family, and they just need to be here until I know they’re safe. I am no model father, Cassandra has to be furious at me and Felicia doesn’t know I’m her father but I still care.” Castiel seemed-defeated somehow.

“Fine, if you need to. That’s what friends are for, right?” Dean said.

I didn’t hear anything else, and so, I changed and got into bed.

Castiel had referred to us as family. Well that had never happened before. I had never even expected it to happen.

It sometimes got boring in the bunker. It had been two weeks, and so far, I had only gone out to stretch my legs every once in awhile because if not I was going to die.

I was looking through all the mysterious lore books because, well, I hadn’t much to do.

“He-Wolf, She-Wolf - 600 pages on Werewolf transgenderism?” I asked Dean as he walked by. “Volume 1?”

“Don’t ask.” He chuckled.

I kept looking, laughing to myself.

“Mommy look, Sammy looks so pretty!” I heard Felicia call me from the other side of the room, and burst into laughter.

My daughter had successfully braided and put pink flowers and bows into Sam’s long hair, and I just couldn’t help but laugh.

“Sam you look-beautiful-” Dean laughed harder than I did, and Sam looked done with the world as he rolled his eyes.

“L-Let me take a picture-” I wasn’t going to make it without crying, it was just way too funny.

“Sammy, don’t you like what I did to your hair? You look better like this!” Felicia exclaimed, and Sam smiled brightly, even if just to please her.

“I love it.” He ruffled Felicia’s hair, and then went back to reading as Dean and I showed each other the picture and laughed hysterically.

“Guys, cut it out.” Sam complained, but we were deaf, doubling over and laughing more.

“Cut what out?” Castiel asked, coming over. Dean didn’t reply (he couldn’t, he was still laughing) and just opted to showing Castiel the picture. He started by stifling a giggle but ended up laughing just as much. I was wiping away tears, I hadn’t laughed this hard in forever.

“Man, I need to frame this.” Dean said after the laughter died down.

“You should.” I replied.

The day went on as uneventful, though Sam did give us the death glare every time we looked at him, which I found hilarious.

That night, Castiel offered to tuck Felicia into bed, which I found odd, but allowed him to do, seeing as he wanted to somehow start a bond with her.

I was about to go in to say good night, and then stopped when I heard them talk.

“You know, I know you from mommy’s phone.” She said, in the most innocent voice possible, startling me.

“What do you mean?” Castiel asked.

“Some nights, mommy would go to sleep crying, and your name was on her phone. She called a lot of times. I had to turn the lights off because mommy was tired from her ‘big person homework’ and needed to sleep.” Felicia went on to explain. I was surprised, I never knew she had seen that.

“Oh. Well, um, good night, thank you for telling me. I’ll keep that in mind.” Castiel said.

“Good night mister.”

I went in and kissed her good night, sharing a very awkward glance with Castiel.

“Hey Cassie, wings is looking for you.” Dean told me as I walked out the bathroom.

“‘Wings’?” I asked.

“Pet name.” Dean replied, shrugging.

“Where is he?”

“Your room I guess.” He said, and walked away.

I went upstairs to my room. Felicia was with Sam downstairs, playing with her dinosaurs.

“We need to talk.” Castiel said as soon as I walked in. His facial expressions were hard to read, I didn’t know what to expect.

“What about?”

“I know you heard what Felicia told me the other day. Did you really cry because of me?” Castiel stood up, and reached for my arm, but I didn’t let him.

“Yes.” I replied simply.

Memories, lots of them, hit me like a ton of bricks. I had stopped doing that for a few months, stopped calling and expecting an answer. So maybe I lied about stopping after Felicia was born.

“Did I really hurt you that much?” He asked in a hushed voice, as if he was the one that was in pain.

“Yes Castiel, you did! You can’t save my life and never call back, you can’t make me fall in love and then not pick up! You used words too lightly. I’ve had sex so many times, but never have I ever made love, and then I practically take your virginity, you call it making love and then never show up. Yes Castiel, I was very hurt. Not to mention the fact that you didn’t even come when I told you I was pregnant. Or when Felicia was born. People break Castiel, and it takes a while to fix them!”

I leaned on the wall, and took deep breaths. One, two, three, an endless stream of tears run down my face, sobs shaking me.

“Don’t you think it hurt me too? Don’t you think how desperate I felt when you called me on the verge of tears? Do you not think I would have come if I could have when you called? Don’t you think I was torn apart when you told me our daughter was born and I couldn’t even get close? Don’t you think I was worried when you told me endlessly that you were scared? Emotions, feelings, I’m new to them. But I knew I had felt them when I was with you.” He tilted my head up to face him, and I stopped crying a bit.

“Castiel…” I whispered, and slowly, very slowly, he tilted his head and put his lips on mine.

I had been waiting for this moment for so long, and now that I had it, I had no idea what to do. I was paralyzed, and I moved my hands to grip his trenchcoat in them, as he moved his to my back, pressing me to him further.

His lips were soft, and he tasted like-well, like himself.

I swear I could have heard a gasp, but I wasn’t thinking of anything else right now. When we inevitably pulled away for air, I rested my forehead on his and loosened my grip on his coat.

“This doesn’t solve anything.” I whispered.

“No, it doesn’t.”

“I liked it. You kiss better now.”

We laughed quietly.

“Is this a start?”

“It is, Castiel. It is.”

We didn’t speak about the kiss for the next few weeks, as everything was quiet on the radars.

Castiel and I grew closer though, and Dean would whistle every time we were together. He ended up getting smacked on the back of his head for that.

I decided to begin homeschooling Felicia, since she wasn’t to go back to school until this threat was eliminated.

It was all quiet, until one fateful night.

We had all gone out for dinner, since staying cooped up in the bunker was boring and a bit of fresh air would do us all some good. We went to a lovely chinese place, and Castiel spent the evening making Felicia laugh by putting noodles on his upper lip like a moustache or tickling her in the middle of drinking water, resulting in hiccups.

We were on our way back to the car when it happened. Sam was walking behind us, and Felicia was holding my hand and telling me about what she had learned about the stars in school. Suddenly, we heard a muffled scream, and we turned around to see two men holding Sam with an arm around his neck, a blade like the one the other woman carried to his throat.

Dean went forward to punch them, but the other guy pressed the blade further to Sam’s neck, and Dean stopped.

“Give us the girl, and we will give you Sam back.” The man holding Sam warned.

“Azeiel, Beriel, why are you doing this?” Castiel asked, and the other man, the one with the other angel blade, stepped forward a bit.

“Don’t you dare question our actions, you brought this on yourself, sleeping with this-” he paused, and looked me up and down in disgust, repulsion evident on his face. “-human, and then bringing into the world a Nephilim, a threat to us all.” He spoke gravely, but Castiel shook his head.

“No, this isn’t-” Castiel pleaded, but then, Felicia let go of my hand and stood in front of the two men-angels, in this case.

“Enough! Let Sammy go!” She demanded, and I rushed forward but Castiel put an arm in front of me.

“Felicia, don’t-” Sam tried saying, but only got the blade pressed a bit harder.

“I said, enough!” She screamed, and all of the sudden, bright light filled the street, and I covered my eyes.

It was over quickly, and there was a clattering heard. The two angel blades were on the floor, along with the angels and my daughter.

“Felicia!” I cried, running past Castiel and kneeling beside her.

She was breathing, but unconscious.

Sam came beside her too, and picked her up gently.

“I’ll take her back to the car.” He offered, and I nodded.

Back at the bunker, Castiel and I stayed in her room with her whilst Sam and Dean rested.

“Will she be alright?” I asked him in a low tone of voice, to not disturb my daughter.

“All she needs is a bit of sleep.” He replied.

“What happened to her, Castiel?” I asked shakily.

He stood up and went towards the window, looking outside and sighing. “This is the first sign of her powers.”

“What do you mean? You said they wouldn’t show until three years time!” I half-yelled, half-whispered, going over to him and standing at his side.

“She’s more powerful than I thought. Her powers must be led by emotions somehow.” He turned around, but I stood in his way, looking up at him.

“I cannot let this happen again. She’s our daughter, I have to protect her at all costs.” I said, closing my eyes and leaning on his chest.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” Castiel apologised, put his arms around me gently, resting his head atop mine.

“You cannot love me, Castiel.” I whisper, a knot in my throat, my eyes teary.

“I can, I do, and I will, until the end of time.” He cups my face in his hands. I am in a room, the royal room, in fact. My dress reaches my feet, and my crown sits atop a table in the corner. Castiel is here too, but he’s dressed in his own regal clothes, and I feel lightheaded.

“You cannot love me, Castiel. You are thousands of years old, you are an angel, and you will continue living until the end of time. But I, I shall perish as humans do, I shall die and turn into dust, into air, into nothing. And you will live on with that grief. I will grow old as you will remain eternally young. You cannot love me, Castiel, because our love shall be short-lived in all the time the Universe has given.”

I’m crying, and my shoulders are shaking. He puts his fingers under my chin and forces me to look up, his own eyes getting teary as well.

“Well then let’s make it count.”

He leans down to me, his lips brushing mine, and-

Once again, my eyes flew open.

Confused about the nature of my dream, I sat up to find Castiel in my room.

“Castiel, has no one ever told you it’s creepy when you do that?” I said.

“I was waiting until you woke up to tell you that Sam and Dean have decided to take Felicia this weekend out on a trip to I don’t know where.” He explained.

“What?!” I was shocked to say the least.

“I didn’t think you’d mind too much.” The angel said, uncrossing his arms that were folded over his chest.

“In what universe would I not mind you letting a seven year old go off with Sam and Dean Winchester!” I got out of bed and rushed to get my phone.

“Hello?” I heard on the other side, and knew it was Sam.

“May I speak to my daughter, please?” I asked in an impatient voice.

“Hi mommy!” Felicia exclaimed.

“Felicia sweety, where are you?”

“We’re in the car, but Sammy and Dean-bean told me it was a surprise.” Ever since Felicia found out ‘Dean’ and ‘Bean’ rhyme, she’s been calling him ‘Dean-bean’ much to everyone’s amusement.

“Just-be safe, okay? Remember, brush your teeth before bed, don’t talk to strangers, listen to Sam and Dean-”

“Cassie, you’re worrying too much. She’ll be fine!” Dean said, and I supposed he’d taken the phone from Felicia.

“Take care of her, please.”

“I swear. Plus, you and Cas need some time to yourselves.” I could almost hear him smirk on the other line.

“Goodbye Dean.”

I hung up, and turned around to see Castiel standing behind me.

We went out for a while, and I hadn’t had so much fun in ages. At least, not on my own.

“And then-and you-and the guy-” I burst out laughing again, and so did Castiel, remembering what had just happened. We knocked into a guy that was bending over fixing a water pipe, and he hit the pipe, sending water all over the street. We both ran, and the guy was chasing us whilst yelling. We ducked into an alley and waited for him to stop chasing us, before laughing hysterically.

“I haven’t laughed this hard in so long.” I gasped for air, and tried calming down.

“I agree.” He was laughing as much as I was, holding the sides of his stomach.

“I’m too old for this.” I stated once we settled, leaning against the wall.

“Impossible. You’re only thirty.” Castiel replied, turning his head to smile at me.

“I guess I am young compared to Mr. ‘I’ve been around since the dawn of time’.” I grinned back.

“That’s not entirely true.” He bit his lip whilst sporting one of the brightest smiles I’d ever seen him smile.

“It’s still quite an age gap.”

He took my hand in his wordlessly, and we walked back to the car.

So I found Dean’s good liquor, and one thing lead to another…

I got drunk. Like, the drunkest I’ve been since I had Felicia. Well, not that drunk but pretty drunk.

And I turned the radio on, which led to me using a brush as a microphone whilst lip-syncing on top of a table whilst Castiel watched in amusement.

“Oh, don't you dare look back.

"Just keep your eyes on me.

"I said, "You're holding back, 

"She said, "Shut up and dance with me!

"This woman is my destiny,

"She said, 'Ooh-ooh-hoo,

Shut up and dance with me.'"

I jumped off the table, and, in my socks, took Castiel’s hand and pulled him on his feet, dancing with him in a very random fashion, but still fun nonetheless.

“You’re holding back.” He whispered, pulling me to him, and twirling me around.

“Shut up and dance with me.” I whispered back, and put my hands behind his neck, pulling him down, pressing my lips to his.

Maybe he was taken aback, but in less than a second he was kissing back. The music faded, and it was just us, it was just his lips and his hands on my hips. It was just my hands on the sides of his neck, my lips on the side of his neck briefly and then back, back to kissing him like tonight was the last.

The next part was a bit of a blur, partly because I was drunk and partly because I was too wrapped up in him, in feeling.

“Castiel-bed-I-” I pulled him down with me onto the bed, slipping my hands up his shirt.

He broke the kiss though, and looked down at me with a small smile.

“You’re drunk Cassandra. I-I can’t. You aren’t in a fit state to-um-have sex right now. Maybe some other time.” He got up, and though I was a bit disappointed, I didn’t mind all that much.

“Cas?” I called, as he was reaching the door. I had never called him ‘Cas’, it was always ‘Castiel’, it was always so-formal, somehow.

“Yes?” He looked back at me, and I smiled shyly.

“Can you at least-sleep with me tonight? Not in that way, just-you know-” I blushed horridly.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” He said warmly, and left. I sighed and got up, getting undressed. I was too tired to keep it all, so I left it on the floor. I’d do it in the morning. I settled under the sheets, seeing as Cas wasn’t coming.

A few minutes later, the hallway light was switched off, and I felt Castiel getting under the blankets with me. I pretended to be asleep when he kissed my forehead, and I pretended to be asleep when he wrapped his arm around my waist and whispered ‘Good night, love.’ in my ear before falling succumbing to sleep.

I turned around to see Castiel, in pyjamas, sleeping beside me. I shook him slightly, very much worried.

“Cas? Did we...last night?” I asked. I had a killer headache and I couldn’t remember anything from last night.

“No, we didn’t. You asked me to come sleep here tonight, don’t you remember?” He propped himself on one elbow and frowned.

“I can’t remember a thing, I was so drunk last night.” I groaned, and put a hand to my forehead, falling back onto the pillows.

“Do you want me to help with that?” Cas offered, reaching a hand to my forehead.

“You can try but-” He then put two fingers on my forehead, and I felt a small electric shock through me. A second later, the headache was gone, and I felt a lot better.

“I have no idea what you just did, but thank you.” I offered him a small smile which he returned, but then he scooted closer to me.

“So you don’t remember a thing? Nothing?” Castiel asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No…” I was suspicious, but said nothing about it.

“You don’t remember the dancing?” He asked, and I cringed inside when I remembered my dancing skills were equal to none.

“I danced? Oh my Go-goodness…” I whined, but he kept going, smiling sadically at me.

“And you sang. And you know what else you did?” He put an arm around my waist, and pulled me close to him.

“What?”

It was a soft kiss, and he pulled away gently.

“Are you always going to be like this? So-sweet-all the time?” I asked, propping myself on one elbow as well.

“I want to make it up to you.” Castiel replied.

I didn’t ask anymore questions. I wasn’t about to complain.

The rest of the day we spent in the bunker. We both spoke to Felicia, Dean and Sam. They were going to be back tomorrow morning, and Dean sent me a picture of Felicia and Sam sleeping in the backseat, Felicia on Sam’s chest.

“Cas?” I asked him that night, snuggled up to him.

“Yes?”

“What happens now?” I looked up at him, our hands together on his chest.

“In what sense?”

“I mean, like, can we go back? Do we keep in touch? What happens now?” Maybe I was worrying too much.

“I don’t know, Cassandra. You can’t go back yet, it’s not safe. And I promise I’ll always keep in touch.”

That was the most reassuring thing I had for now, so I limited myself to kissing him good night and lying awake for a while, thinking.

The next morning, I heard Cas go ‘hmph’ and groan as someone climbed over him and settled in between us.

“Hi mom! We’re back!” Felicia giggled, and I smiled softly.

“Hey there baby girl. How was it?” I asked sleepily, smiling at her.

“It was so much fun! We went and saw these dinosaur bones in a museum, and then we watched this movie about a superhero called Captain America, and then…”

She went on to tell me everything they did, and when she finished, Castiel started tickling her,

and then me, and suddenly Castiel and Felicia ganged up on me and tickled me mercilessly. When they-finally-finished, we were all tired, and then Felicia, forever the most honest person I knew, spoke up.

“Mommy doesn’t cry anymore at night. She’s happy now. Thanks mister.” She hopped off the bed and walked out, most likely the smell of pancakes.

“Felicia…” I groaned, and covered my face with my hands.

“Cassandra, when are we going to tell her?” I frowned, not knowing what he was referring to.

“Tell her what?” I asked, and Castiel sighed.

“That I’m her father! I can’t go on with her calling me Mr., or Castiel. She needs to know.” He looked frustrated to say the least.

“I don’t know…soon, I promise.” I hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

After we got up and out of bed, I suggested Cas, Felicia and I went out for a walk, just the three of us. We went out through a path in the surrounding woods. Felicia walked in between us, taking both mine and Castiel’s hand.

The soft sunlight shone in through the canopy, the birds chirped, and everything felt peaceful.

But then, of course, nothing ever stayed that way.

I could’ve sworn I heard something, but then dismissed it. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in the back of my leg, like a knife cutting deep, and I screamed out in pain. Everything went downhill from there.

I fell to the ground, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a man fighting Castiel, as another put a cloth over Felicia’s mouth, and she fell limp.

There was screaming, I could hear Cas, and the roar of blood in my ears.

“That’s my daughter! Get away from her!”

I fought the pain, and stood up, making a feeble attempt to run after the man that was dragging her off. I pulled on his shirt and swung a weak punch, but ended up receiving a blow to the stomach, that made me fall to my knees, and then a kick to the ribs, which ended with me on the floor, seeing black spots out of pain, and watching helplessly as they disappeared into thin air with Felicia.

I slowly opened my eyes, blinking at the bright lights above my head.

I didn’t remember anything for a minute, and just focused on where I was. I recognised my room, and I knew there was a bandage on my leg, and I could feel a pounding in my head. I looked to my side, moving my head slowly, and saw the picture of Felicia and I at Disneyland and-oh.

It hit me like a ton of bricks, and suddenly everything that had happened was coming back to me.

I began hyperventilating, and then there were tears, and I was losing control over myself.

The door opened, and someone came inside and sat on the bed, but I wasn’t paying attention.

“Cassandra?” The familiar voice asked, and I looked up to see Castiel looking down at me.

“They have her Cas. They have our baby girl.” I whispered, as there was a knot in my throat, and then hugged him and buried my face in his chest, crying into his clothes.

“Sh...Calm down. We’ll find her, and get her back. You’ll see her soon, I promise.” He kissed the top of my head and rested his head on mine, rubbing my back in circles. He didn’t show signs of it, but I felt the first tear fall, and the rest as well, wetting my hair.

Two days later, on what Dean called ‘Angel radio’, we picked up signs and talk about the whereabouts of where Felicia was being held. I stopped sleeping, and eating was no longer something I thought about, I could only worry.

“Sam! I got coordinates! Write them down, now!” Castiel called, and my eyes widened.

“On it!”

Castiel said some coordinates, and then Sam wasted no time in typing them into a computer, Dean looking over his shoulder.

“It’s in a field a bit in the middle of nowhere, but it’s only three hours from here.”

“Do you think we’d be able to go tomorrow?” I asked meekly. Sam and Dean looked pensive before answering me.

“Yes. Now we need to think a plan of attack. Cassie, you’re staying here, obviously-” I cut Dean off though.

“No. I’m going with you.” I stated.

“No, you’re not. It’s dangerous.” He replied, but I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I can take care of myself.” We each held our ground, though after a while I heard him sigh in defeat.

“Fine. So, according to this, it’s a warehouse…”

We made plans throughout the rest of the evening, and I did sleep eventually, overcome by exhaustion. I needed sleep anyway. Cas watched me sleep, which I found odd, but he apparently did not.

The next day, we waited for nightfall, and Dean taught me in as little time as possible how to use a weapon, and some hand-on-hand basic fighting moves. And night came, and we were in the car, and I was in the backseat with Cas, and time seemed to fly.

“Remember our plan. Sam and I go in first, and distract whoever is in there, whilst you and Cas go look for Felicia, got it?” Dean reminded us.

Cas looked at me and said nothing, but rather decided to take my hand in his and squeeze it to reassure me.

We got there, and the quiet of the night was almost intimidating as I walked forward quietly.

The big warehouse was old, and quiet. Sam and Dean pulled out their guns, and Castiel, his angel blade. Sam and Dean burst in noisily, and Cas and I took the opportunity to go round the back and open the door quietly. We saw the two men inside run towards where the noise came from. I nodded to Cas and went in first, the gun in my belt pressing into my leg.

“Felicia?” I called in a low voice, and after a few seconds heard a small cough.

“Cas! Come here!” I said, and followed the sound until I found her, head down, tied to a chair, tear marks on her cheeks and red eyes, mouth in a pout.

“Felicia, it’s mommy.” She looked up and her eyes widened.

“Mommy, you came!” She exclaimed, and I winced, hoping no one heard. I rushed there, and pulled a knife from my belt as well, cutting the ropes.

She launched herself into my arms, crying into my shirt, and I held her close to me, rubbing her back, crying as well.

“They t-took me a-and they c-cut my arm…” She pulled away and I saw them, cut marks, and I grew furious.

“Cassandra, where-oh.”

And Castiel forgot about the fact that Felicia didn’t know he was her father and kneeled beside us and hugged us both.

“Wow, what a cute family reunion. Adorable really.” A man walked in, holding Sam and Dean by their shirts. They were both gagged, with their hands tied behind their backs. I gasped, and the angel chuckled. He was a tall man, with tan skin and dark brown hair. I must admit he was attractive, but the hard glint in his eyes made me repel him, and the fact that he hurt my daughter.

“Castiel…” He tutted, and I pulled Felicia closer to me, and I felt Cas stand up in front of us. “How low you’ve come. From an admired angel to sleeping with this-scum. You could’ve at least gone for a prettier one.” I was already enraged, but this made me madder still.

“You have no matter in what I do and whom I choose as my family. It’s certainly better than being part of your family.” Cas spat.

“Too bad you’re all going to die then.” He said, and bright light filled the warehouse. And at that moment, I saw something I had never seen and I would never see again. Castiel splayed his wings, black and beautiful, and turned to us, shielding us from the attack, and I closed my eyes and held onto my daughter. The light ended, and Cas pulled back his wings and hid them once more.

The other angel trembled, and I took the chance to stand up and run over to the brothers, cutting their binds.

“You can hurt me. You can beat me up, take my grace, slash my wings and insult me. But no one, no one hurts my family. And now you will pay the price.” Sam and Dean whispered to us that we should get out, and I listened, watching how energy seemed to flow into Cas by the second.

We bolted, and ran out as fast as possible. Once we were out, a few minutes later we heard an explosion, and the field filled with a bright, white light.

“Dada!” Felicia yelled, and ran down the steep slope to embrace Castiel, who stumbled a bit before embracing her back.

I frowned at that out of confusion.

“Did you…?” I looked at Sam and Dean whilst pointing to Cas and Felicia, but they both raised their eyebrows and shook their heads.

Castiel took her in his arms and held her for the longest time. I ran over and hugged them both. For the first time, I felt like we were a proper family.

“How did you know, Felicia?” I asked her, once we put her back on the floor. Sam and Dean had already gone into the car, and they were waiting for us there.

“I knew when you cried into the phone, but since you didn’t tell me I thought you didn’t want me to know.”

Sometimes I thought that she was a lot smarter than what we gave her credit for.

“But Cas, I can’t have more people looking for her. I can’t live like this, she needs to go back to school, I need to work...Hunting is not an environment I want my daughter growing up in.” I stated, and Cas looked thoughtful for a while before answering.

“There is one thing…”

“Tell me, anything.” I pleaded.

“I could take her grace. She’ll be a bit sick the first few days, a bit weaker, but she’ll be back to normal afterwards.”

I nodded, and when Castiel reached for Felicia’s forehead, she looked up at him.

“It won’t, I promise. You’ll just fall asleep.” He smiled, and our daughter nodded and closed her eyes. He reached for her forehead and closed his eyes, and I watched as a white essence left her, almost like smoke, and wafted into the air, disappearing.

Felicia fell backwards, fast asleep, and Castiel took her into his arms.

“Is it gone? Her grace?” I asked as we walked back to the car.

“No. It needs somewhere to be, so for now, it will remain hidden.” He replied, and bent down to kiss my cheek.

In the car, on the way back, I rested my head on his shoulder as we watched the sun rise from the car, Felicia asleep on my lap, and when he took my hand, I knew it. We’d be safe. We’d be okay. For now, we’d be fine.

Nine years later

“Felicia, remember, call me when you get there, don’t do anything way too bad, make sure your phone has battery at all times, go to bed before 1 am-”

“I’ll be fine mom, I promise. Stop worrying. Say hi to dad for me, please? Love you!” Felicia was quick to kiss me on the cheek then promptly make her way out the door, duffel bag slung over her shoulder.

She grew up beautifully, tall, blue eyes like her father’s. He came over whenever he could, at least once a week if possible. Sam and Dean came along sometimes, and though Felicia didn’t call them ‘Sammy’ and ‘Dean-bean’ anymore, they reminded her every now and then because it mortified her.

A few minutes later, I turned around from reading a book to see Castiel standing there, smiling.

“Cas! You scared me!” I exclaimed, but he just pulled me into his arms and kissed me gently.

“I know.” He kissed me again, but this time it got a little bit more heated.

“I missed you so much Cas.”

“I missed you too, love.”

And afterwards, in the aftermath of making love, all soft edges and pink cheeks, calm breaths and naked skin under silky sheets, he’d turn to look at me and smile.

“Felicia told me to say hi, by the way. She went to a friend’s for a sleepover.” I commented.

“She grew up just like her mother. I’m so proud.” He replied.

“She did, didn’t she?”

I love him, I really do. My saviour, my lover, my husband, my best friend, my guardian angel.