„In this world nothing happens to a person that he does not for some reason or other deserve.” or Karma.
Karma is a well-known concept, often associated with the negative or positive result of your actions. This is the Buddhism belief, which is a very respected way of living for many Indians, but how true is this saying? How do people from other cultures see it? Is there really a force controlling everything that happens to us? Well, I don’t have the right answers for these questions, but I have my answers.
When I first met Karma, I was delightfully impressed, because I thought that this concept is the answer to all of my questions. I would question everything around me almost every time something was wrong or too good to believe, so Karma was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I started counting the good things that I was doing just to anticipate the positive results, but what was once the best thing in my life it turned out to be the worst. Always waiting for good things to happen to me, I was realizing that Karma didn’t work for me. Horrible things were happening and I was drowning in a sea of sadness, always blaming this concept for giving me hope.
Doing good, expecting good, but things got worse and worse everyday and at this point I started thinking at this concept in a very new way. What if Karma was the force to balance the world? This means that for every good thing, one not so good must happen, just like physics of chemistry where plus and minus cancel each other out. Right now, I’m very sure that this is the way things work, not specifically Karma, but the force responsible for reactions in this universe. After every happy moment there is a very sad one, which cancels every bit of happiness inside me, leaving me hopeless and pessimistic. I’ve learned to think this way so I can’t enjoy a lovely moment, without thinking about its consequences.
I respect Buddhism as an oriental religion and I find it really accurate and interesting so this is not something to take as a harassment for this religion. It is just an honest opinion about a concept I’ve been trying to apply, that made me understand life better but was not compatible to what was and is happening to me.
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This is a good personal example of a piece. You just didn't do the "telling", but also the "showing" in order to make the readers feel what you are trying to insinuate. The only thing I am concerned about is this statement:
"After every happy moment there is a very sad one, which cancels every bit of happiness inside me, leaving me hopeless and pessimistic. I've learned to think this way so I can't enjoy a lovely moment, without thinking about its consequences. "
Very expressive and I know that you're just writing about what you feel. There's nothing wrong about that, but I am concerned about the way you think. Being negative is not going to let you move forward in life. Being in the right moment yet keeping such negative mindset. The right thing to do is to stay in the present moment, neither future nor past because it's gonna be your loss. You're the one who said that you can't enjoy a lovely moment without thinking of the consequences. Your loss is each of the pleasant moment where you are not present in, the time where you're supposed to be absorbing the happiness but not because your mind keeps flying back to the future consequences.
Otherwise the whole concept is very good, you're direct to the point, and keep writing expressively because it's a form of writing therapy which helps you heal. Organization and writing style come together as one because they have the value of what a well written piece needs. Keep up the good work Aliicide.
Thank you very much. I really appreciate the advice and your time.
Hello! Holographic Ladybug here for a short review!
You have made some very clean points here. You ask good questions and fluently tell us about what you think very fluently. I don't think you're harassing Buddhism. I don't see anywhere in here that would be negative towards it, so I guess you're fine.
You have opened up your piece very well. I often see people asking a question to start off, which I find boring and repetitive. I'm very glad that you have done something different.
Your conclusion was also very strong and I can't think of many other ways to finish this off.
Great job!
Your review is highly appreciated. I like seeing people who understand my works, even though this is just a random thought I felt the need to vent and not necessarily a piece of literature.
Ah. I understand.
Hey there! I'm here to drop a review on this.
Your introduction starts off pretty strongly. Not many problems there. However, parts of your writing are a bit confusing, and I had to go back and read it several times to understand what you were saying.
For example, in your second paragraph, you describe how at first you believed Karma was the best thing that ever happened to you because you counted up all the good things you did and waited for the positive results. However, I think you could explain this in a little bit more detail and word it a bit more clearly. In fact, you should probably dedicate the entire paragraph to this, because by the end of the paragraph you have completely switched viewpoints on the situation, and that's something you should introduce in an new paragraph.
Then you go on to explain your new view of karma. I'd like some more detail about what led you to change your views of karma - you could even turn it into a memoir-style thing where you tell a little mini-story that shows that change.
And there's one thing about this viewpoint that doesn't make sense to me. You say that for every happy moment, there is a sad one, and then you say that it leaves you overall pessimistic and sad. But weren't you saying that the point of this idea of karma is to balance out the happiness? Shouldn't you end up feeling nuetral, not sad, if it truely does work? Of course, I may just be misunderstanding your explaination.
Anyway, this is nice essay you've got here. Good luck with it, and keep writing!
Thank you for the review. I'll consider being more clear the next time I post something like this.
Hey! Cello here for a quick review!
(A late welcome to the site)
First off, I honestly don't think you need to clarify that you're not trying to insult the beliefs within Buddhism. Karma is recognized throughout many religions and cultures (At least in some form) and although is mainly acknowledged in Hinduism and Buddhism, it has lost a lot of its meaning in society, becoming a word used rather casually. I understand if you feel the need to keep your footnotes in, but I don't feel they're completely necessary. Additionally, you mention what karma is. I feel like most people are familiar with the concept the the explanation could easily be left out too.
Into the editing!
'Is' should be 'was'. (Just watch your tenses)
Make this one sentence. '...the positive results, but what was one...'
Again, watch your tenses. 'didn't work for me'. This work is written in past tense. Keep it consistent.
I feel like the beginning of this sentence is a bit of a rough start. Maybe try 'Doing good, expecting good. Things got worse and worse everyday..." instead of "Doing good, expecting good, but things got worse and worse everyday..." It flows smoother and sounds a lot better to the reader.
Hmm. I don't know. I'm more of a math person than science and 'physics of chemistry' doesn't really work well for me. Personally, if I was writing this, I would say something along the lines of 'Just like math, where a positive and negative number of equal absolute value cancel each other out.' As you can see, this is wordy and I'm sure not everybody understands this. When you're writing it's good to make things at a constant level of understanding to keep a constant group of readers if that makes any sense. What I'm trying to suggest is simply to use a different example to show your thoughts.
Okay, you were just talking about them canceling out and making things even but this shows things ending up negatively. I'm not sure which concept your trying to show more strongly but stick to and write to one main idea.
Amazing piece. Keep up the good work!
-ChocolateCello
Thank you very much for this complex review. I now can see the abiguity in my essay. I did't really noticed this, maybe because for me everything was clear. As for the tenses, I'll surely double check my writings from now on.