Young Writers Society

Hey there! I thought I'd drop by for a quick review on this interesting piece.

Overall, I think you did a pretty good job with this, especially considering your very limited word count. I thought your interpretation of the quote was definitely interesting.

I think the biggest way to improve this would be to try to explain and support your interpretations a bit more. Right now, although I really like your thoughts on the courageous, the others don't make as much sense to me.

For the ones that are not weak, fearful or courageous, the future is simply something we, humans, made up.

Who are these people? I don't know that you'll find anyone that thinks the future is something we made up. It's a concept, and our understanding of it is certainly limited by our perception of time, but that doesn't mean it has no bearing on the real world. It's a little like saying we "made up" the laws of physics. Yes, we created equations to express certain concepts, but the concepts reflect the real world.

I also thought your definition of the fearful as those who believe in fate was... odd, to say the least. Fear is almost always of the unknown - fate means there is no unknown. It's actually much more likely to inspire either excitement and joy or lethargy and hopelessness (depending on what your fate it) rather than fear. And since you say that they think they'll end up accomplishing "what they were truly meant to," why are they afraid?

Who can blame them for thinking so, when we are fed up with both the idea of God’s existence and the idea of making arbitrary decisions?

This really confused me, as it seemed like you're saying that since we're so fed up with the idea of God, who can blame them for believing in fate. And that just doesn't make sense, since belief in fate is usually associated with a belief in God, and is usually somewhat arbitrary. If they're fed up with that, why do they believe in fate?

Your thoughts on the courageous are more cohesive - I especially liked the image of these people living forever through their art, even if it's just the art of a life well-lived.

Your conclusion did seem to tie all three together. The only thing I would suggest (and I'd do this for the work as a whole) is to try to edit it so it flows better. Right now, it reads rather stiff and like you're not quite comfortable with the words and sentence structures you're using. Pay attention to the flow of the words - read it out loud, that can help.

And that's all I've got! Good luck, and keep writing.

Hello, Aliicide! I'm here for a review.

I think you did a nice job interpreting Victor Hugo's quote.

But I thought the person you're addressing in the first sentence

For the ones that are not weak, fearful or courageous, the future is simply something we, humans, made up.

It shifted from "ones" to "we". It was slightly confusing.

For the second paragraph, I felt as though it was kind of skimpy. I would have liked more meaningful content inside. I'm not saying that your paragraph has no meaningful content; it does, but it's less compared to the next two paragraphs.

And I thought that the first sentence of the third paragraph slightly echoes the first (this is just a personal opinion). But my interpretation of your paragraph is that the fearful are afraid to stray from their path. I liked the subtlety.

I also liked the metaphor of a painting in the fourth paragraph. But I wish you could work the painting metaphor into the previous two paragraphs. It would be coherent. And the fourth to fifth paragraph does not flow particularly well (I know it's hard to connect between your last statement and the conclusion).

But overall, the majority of your sentences were clear and to the point and your composition was concise and sweet. However, you might need a little coherence between your paragraphs but other than that your writing style is great!

Sincerely,
Princess Ink