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Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Masquerade

by Alexcarmine58


Going to a masquerade today,

Oh what cards shall I play.

What side of me will I display,

And whose mind shall I sway.

How will I do my hair,

And what mask might I wear.

Will it show glorious flare,

Or the nastiest glare.

Might I say boastful bluster,

Or show an eloquent lustre.

Will I show a playful fluster,

Or talk like a jester.

So many masquerades to see,

And so many masks yet to be.


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Mon Apr 22, 2019 10:46 am
TheInk wrote a review...



Wow, I really love this poem. It has a thythm that make me want to dig it, but what of this poem that apeals most to me must be that I really think i see what you mean - or at least hope so. Sometimes it seems like you are a diffrient person every day, you change for everyone. I don't think I have ever read a poem or short story that has portrayed this as good as this poem. It made me think about make up, it has always seend like a snail kind of a mask to me. I especially like the end sentence.
Don't ever stop writing!




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Mon Apr 22, 2019 5:03 am
Itsbintezahid says...



I love this so much! The universal theme adds to it. The rhyming lines are so captivating and did not more me for a seconds! Never stop writing.




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Mon Apr 22, 2019 4:28 am
brookeallo wrote a review...



I loved this so much. The rhyme scheme was on point and I liked the ending a lot. It really tied in the poem and made it so good. Another thing I like about the poem is how it can connect to almost anyone as we all put masks up which makes it easy to understand and it feels so real and truthful. Thankyou so much for writing and I hope to see more soon. :)




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Sun Apr 21, 2019 7:29 pm
JabberHut wrote a review...



Hello!

I really like your theme here, and I like how you compare the multiple perspectives of a personality and compare it to that of a masquerade party. You really dug into that image and made a detailed comparison that really works.

You got very creative with some of these rhymes. Really, coming up with as many rhymes as you did for "bluster" that actually work with your theme is impressive. The rhythm felt a bit off, so some sentence structure attention might be beneficial. You know, this almost fits a sort of sonnet format, which are super fun (and challenging) to write. Maybe that's intentional! Just a random thought. :D

Also an interesting choice to not use question marks, or perhaps it just slipped your mind when writing. I think I'd recommend using them, though. I don't think you really gain anything by using periods instead. In fact, I think you lose the feel of the speaker questioning their future, that sense of thoughtfulness. Just falls through when it doesn't even read like a question.

Fun little piece you have! I can tell you enjoyed this theme. Well done. :)

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!




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Sun Apr 21, 2019 6:15 pm
FabihaNeera wrote a review...



Hello,

I really like this poem! I think it has a good amount of imagery, and the rhymes flow really nicely together. It's short, yet it gets a good idea across. I think this could also have a touch of reality in it, in that we all wear some sort of mask on our faces all the time. I especially like the last two lines because it can show how many masks we can put on our face for any occasion. Whether we put on a face of happiness, sadness, anger, etc. There will always be many events - or "masquerades" as the poem puts it - where we will have to display a certain mask.

I only have one thing to point out... and this is punctuation. In every line where you have a question, you should make sure to put a "?". There are quite a few lines that are phrased as questions, so make sure that you are aware of this.

That's all from me! Really great poem... it's overall really nicely written. Welcome to YWS by the way, I hope to read more of your work!

Keep Writing :)




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Sun Apr 21, 2019 3:09 pm
Shakiraislam wrote a review...



Hey Shakira is here for a review!
So your poetry damn it was good. It's like Shakespeare saying we all are actors and actresses. It's just like wearing a mask that we always do. Intelligent or brave or coward or happy or sad. We all wears masks of emotion. And that's really awesome to present in a masquerade way. I loved it. Hope to see more.





A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
— Unknown