I married you for a painter, not knowing your creations are but a lie
your bold strokes cover all my vulnerabilities; and I know you do it consciously
show my locks messy as they are, paint me two shades darker if you really dare
deepen the eye bags I have and don't thin out my waist for appeal
all these changes you make; I can't even recognise myself in the portrait
you draw what you wish I was, and I hate the very core of that thought
brushes are a language you're fluent in; not one I understand too well, unfortunately
why put the art of us in glass cages? when they could be outdoors, shimmering
I'd rather have you paint on cardboard but it's not like you ever listen to me
tell me- what good are those paintings if my fingers can't trace their outlines?
but you're too occupied saving our relationship for however long you can
so you turn down my offer of dancing on the sinking titanic
I find your reflections of us shallow at best
the lights are dreamy, poses uncomfortable and scenes too fake
all the numerous vivid abstracts you make narrate no tale
the random moments you begin to paint me are exhausting
why must we document it all and not just live for ourselves a second?
come lie with me for eternity with no worry to capture it on a canvas
there is no use being immortal if we weren't an epic romance
communicating is your worst nightmare, in your work it shows
you paint in silence for hours adding layers to something that's already good
I hate posing endlessly but I bite my tongue for the sake of us
a writer needs to vent and so I pick up the pen instead
to fill my feelings in the crevices where your paint leaves out as it dries
weaving the most intimate scenes of us, pouring truths we're too afraid to say aloud
your paintings are too pretty for me to be in them
yet your sentiments warm my heart whenever we're together
it would've been pleasing to not have you so engrossed in fictitious art
perhaps we could inspire real masterpieces if we spent more time together
you don't like to talk so I don't get to say it to you but
I love you despite everything, and I hope my poems show it
I wonder if all the prose ppl are just too afraid to put their work up for request XD But here it is, the third requested poem in a row. Let’s see what you got, Alex ^^
Also this makes me think that maybe the painter also wants to not only capture the messy reality but also… puts their own wishfulfilment in it…I also realise that before bookmarks I simply… missed out on all your uploads O_O Now I can just throw them onto the pile to be chosen for the dice =D
And you are already coming in strong with that first verse huh? I wonder how the painter lied… I doubt we are talking abt CRAP (Computer-Rendered Artificial Pictures) so this is probably a metaphor that I’m meant to pick out over the course of the poem!
Ok second verse makes me think it’s more abt how the painter doesn’t portray reality and more an idealized version of what they see?
Ohh I like the reverse! That the person wants to be drawn less raw, MORE idealized.
Hmmm second stanza makes me think that it doesn’t rlly matter HOW the painter paints. The muse (I checked the other poem’s title) is just generally unhappy with being captured on something permanent. It feels like they’re free-spirited and want to live in the moment. Cardboard being not the sturdiest of materials XD
Yeepppp sounds like someone who does not appreciate the art, doesn’t appreciate having only ONE aspect of something captured in that flat dimension.
Kinda stumbled over the length of this verse.
That said, I feel very much like in a Greek saga at the moment. I like the juxtaposition of the two lovers characters and their different priorities!
I also like that despite this seemingly irreparable difference in view, there is still something the muse can find in the painter and vice versa. That their relationship is not based on wholly nothing. I suppose the cracks weren’t obvious when they first fell in love?
Welll… I do like how the muse clarifies at the end that they do love the painter. It was hard for me to parse that (I am not into romance, mb this is why I had trouble???)
Now I rly need to read the other poem too!
This review is brought to you by-
Thank you for the lovely review, Tikaa! This one was slightly unconventional for me, so I'm feeling a little anxious on what you've got to say..
I mean they're conventionally longer, I'm betting that's why? Plus, reviewers might be more hesitant to dive into a novel since it's more of a commitment.
Haha no, worries! Isn't Nate awesome?
Hell Tikaa, didn't know you were tech savy! Makes one of us XD
Uhhh.. did you mean the opposite?
That's also right, spot on!
Yeah the structure is admittedly horrible in this and I'm not sure a rewrite would hold that well while still capturing their free spirit.
Bingo! The love rots ever so slowly that you keep getting used to it ^-^
Because they know there's no ill intention involved and it's their way of expressing love? They're also more in love with a memory, and they love them today because they feel obliged to, having loved them yesterday. And maybe they've stayed too long they can't imagine their life without them? This is definitely one of the messier couples I've focused on..
Okay, I think I have confused myself with this <less raw, More idealised>
Reminds me, just in the phrasing, of the anime 7 Deadly Sins (basically no one likes this one but bear with me), The MC is a demon whose like 500 yrs old and his love interest is a goddess (oops, spoiler). 500 yrs ago they rebelled against Heaven and Hell but lost. They both got cursed for their effort. His curse means, whenever he dies, he loses a part of himself (more and more of his emotions) but cannot TRULY die (aka, he always reanimates after a while). Her curse is even more insidious: every time SHE dies, she gets reborn as a baby and grows up normally without any of her memories. But. If she ever regains her memories (f.e. by someone telling her who she used to be), she is going to die in the next 3 days. Demon guy always sought her out, trying to break the curse (which is where all the creepy allegations come in. It's kinda grooming your wife, over and over, even if she will totally be into it once she regains the memories. Let's not dwell on that, the author certainly didn't get why this is wrong -.-) but over the years he kinda gave up on that and instead just wants to make sure that she doesn't regain her memories so she can live her longest life etc (Also pretty sure he wants to make sure that she doesn't fall in love with him, which seems to trigger the memories too)
Maybe I will come back to that...
"they love them today because they feel obliged to, having loved them yesterday."
That is... such a poetic way to say this <3
Random Anime Tangent incoming:
Spoiler
Well when the story comes to head, and they have another opportunity to at least murder the current of Ruler of Hell (and the one who issued part of the curse), Demon Guy has died one time too many and he forgot why he loved his goddess in the first place. But he still kidnaps her--which is a move to protect her from the demon hordes --and he keeps her save etc So she asks him why he still cares abt her. And he flatout tells her: "I don't. But I know I used to. So I will continue to make sure you're alive." Like, I find that so fascinating (enough that I can overlook the GLARING FLAWS of this relationship.)
So. Kinda a little like your "but they knew they have loved each other yesterday"
Hah. Now you have been subjected to one of my many, only like 0.5% related anime rants~
Okay that reference took some trusting the process but landed perfectly in the end <3
Trust the process :3
woahr. no words here really. youve been improving and it shows. this was so uniquely captivating, i love this so much!!
Thanks for the kind words, they really help me get my confidence!
aw yw! youre a wonderful poet and youre just getting better and better! im definitely tuning in for more after reading this one!! keep writing :>
The central concept is genuinely original—a writer married to a painter, two artists loving in incompatible languages.
This is a raw piece of writing that explores the tension between idealized art and the messy reality of love.
It is a deeply relatable piece for anyone who has felt "curated" by a partner rather than truly seen.
Lines like "communicating is your worst nightmare, in your work it shows" explain what the poem should demonstrate. The second half weakens a strong observation.
Some lines run very long without rhythmic payoff. This reads closer to prose broken arbitrarily. Consider whether each line break earns its pause.
This is purely my personal reading. Art is inherently subjective—what feels like a flaw to one reader might be a deliberate choice that resonates with another. Take what's useful, discard what isn't.
Thanks a lot for the feedback! You sure raise some valid points, I'll be sure to work on them in rhe future.
I really like the direction this poem is headed. It has a peaceful vibe.
I like the romantic tone. It's not a poem of giant passion or desire, but a poem of hope, quiet, and kindness. The ine "brushes are a language" uses art as a great analogy for how sweet a passion can be, like painting a picture of someone you love. Is there you don't love? Why do we care? Love is old as time itself, and we have different ways of understanding it. To understand love is to understand what it means to be human, and that's the whole point of this story.
The poem is all lowercase, but that gives it a unique flavor. I like when poems are unique, and not when they're trying too hard to be edgy or sad or whatever. The lowercase font gives the impression that the passion is quiet, but still strong, just like the subject of the poem. Love is very subtle at first, but once you get into it, you become a better person at the end. It reminds us there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and we should realize it.
Lastly, the title. "My lover paints me" means that love can change you, but noticed intentionally. Love cpmakes you realize you found your other half, and you don't know where else you 're going. Otherwise, you might be lonely, and it sucks when you realize it. Even if you don't ove anyone, you can still like anyone, and that's a good thing. Love isn't about finding another partner or your other half. It's about being comfortable, safe, and knowing how much of a better person you are.
Overall, the poem has a good start and I hope you improve in the future. 5/5
Well I may not have intended to be taken in such a positive light, but I appreciate your perspective on this. Thanks for the review!
great minds think alike! <3 and once i loved an artist
love this, alex!!
I'm afraid I can't view it as it says you've marked it private.
But it's amazing to know you wrote on q similar theme
Thanks for dropping the compliment, appreciate it.
*screams* omg i forgot i privated it lololol. gonna go unprivate it now >.>