They curse each other, yet I'm the one to bleed
My soul is wounded in a battle I didn't fight in
They pretend they care, tending to my injuries
But shun away the truce I so desperately need
They'd much rather that I choose a side
When I just want them both to quit the hate
They stand for what they think to be right
& I'm here wishing, they chose love instead
I try to understand everyone's vulnerability
But they don't see, that it also pains me
They're asking for a more supportive world
As I pray for reconciliation, in my found family
Tugging at my strings, both hope to draft me
I was born to one side, come rain or shine
But they know I also regard the other deeply
And so in silence, all of my strength I yield
My lips sealed tight to keep the fragile peace
Papering over the cracks of a tattered harmony
Someday soon, I know, we all shall be one again
I'd be glad then, not having fanned the flames
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
A poem about broken friendships, and how it feels like to be torn in the middle. Hopefully we'll all find our way back to each other one day, and see the sunset together like the old times.
This is great, good job.
I've never really been one for poetry but this drew me in very quickly so commendations (I think thats the right word). I love the reconciling bit and openly talking about grief and emotional wounds. Great, extensive vocabulary, yet I can understand it and be on the same wave length. I definitely see the conflicts and they are awesome, I wish you all the best with your writing, there is truly a lot of potential... Good job!
Hello! Always love some friendship angst.
I really like the battle imagery here. The narrator isn't participating in the actual conflict, yet they're still the one sustaining injuries, which immediately establishes for me the unfairness of the situation. That blends really nicely with:
There's an interesting contradiction here - both sides apparently care enough about the narrator to tend to their wounds, while simultaneously refusing to stop doing the thing that's hurting them. I like how ironic that seems to be, and it feels fittingly self-defeating for the narrator to realize. They're treating the symptom while preserving the source of the injury.
Tiny wording note though,"shun away the truce" sounds a little unnatural to me. You could say they "shun the truce" or "shy away from a truce," depending on the meaning you want, maybe?
I also particularly love:
There's a distinction between being "right" and being loving that feels important here. Both groups presumably believe they have legitimate reasons for their anger, and I appreciate that the poem doesn't necessarily say either party is completely WRONG. The narrator understands their vulnerability later on, too. Their frustration seems to come from the fact that righteousness has become more important to everyone than preserving their relationships. I do like that!
Earlier, "born to one side" made me wonder whether I am dealing with an inherited identity / community contrasted against one the narrator later chose for themselves. Like, is one person closer to them than the other? I know you've mentioned friendships, so there's a lot of emotional potential there to uncover! After that, I feel like the poem becomes not only about two people fighting, but about someone's sense of belonging being divided between something "inherited" and something more deliberately chosen by them.
I enjoyed this though - very resonating! I'd especially love to see the poem push a little further into the narrator's personal relationship with each "side." The hints about found family feel like there's something really compelling underneath them.
All the best!