Father's Dad

Father's Dad

His health is turning bad

Father states how he might have to go

I interrupt, "Isn't Aunt visiting though?"

"She'll handle it, if problems appear"

Mom sides with me, "Stay this once, dear"

"Right now, noone needs you more than me"

Seeing he's not eager to go either, I plea

He finally caves in, the matter put to rest

"I'll check up on him. Don't get distressed"

Uncle says on call next day, to assure

Entire family unites to Grandpa's health ensure

A rare site indeed for a quarreling clan

Holding the fort for as long as they can

I say "We'll go too. As soon as exam's done

To take his blessing when I've won"

"If he'll last till then, I don't know"

Father tells me & mom, his voice low

We exchange looks, unsure what he's getting at

Who would ever say a thing such as that

Father's Dad

I'm now armor clad

While you delight in the care of your daughter

I struggle to keep my head above water

War's still away, but battles have commenced

My own insecurities & faults I go against

Loved ones gather all around you

Parents at my side, I've got support too

I know to falter now, means to yield

But your thought worries in battlefield

I yearn to be at your bedside

But alas, my hands are tied

Mom places a hand on my shoulder

"This helplessness, you must smolder

Take command, snap out of it

Now is not the time to quit

Pull yourself together, or you'll pay

You can't let your mind lead you astray"

I summon a weak smile as I nod

A mother's sixth sense, I applaud

Squeezing her hand, I meet her eye 

An unsaid promise of my finest try

I take back the control of reins

Gathering the courage that remains

Father's Dad

We've some news had

Uncle has called asking dad to come

In a hurried panic, he wakes mum

They book dad's tickets at midnight

Father begins packing when it's bright

I wake up late to see him ready to leave

That he could stay- I was a fool to believe

He says he'll drop me before catching the train

I'm suddenly aware I'll have to alone sustain

With a troubled mind, I sit for the test

"He just wished you could give your best

If we told you the news, you'd waver

So we withheld at the cost of your disfavour"

Mother advocates as my world goes grey

"Your grandfather passed away yesterday"

I wish to drown in dark when limelight finds me

All contemplate what my next move will be

If I'll continue my battle or join father

Career or family- which will drift farther

"Of the both, only one path is sane

I need to make sure he didn't die in vain"

Mother supports my decision to not go

It's future consequence worries her though

"People will talk if we miss his cremation"

"I must bear this much for my aspirations

But I'm sorry that I'm holding you back too"

She sighs, "My role right now is to be beside you

To leave you alone, your struggles amid

My heart will never allow & your dad forbids"

As she begins crying, to study I leave

At a time such as this, I can't afford to grieve

Father's Dad

What else is left to add

When everything has been said & done

Not a care for the presence of this grandson

Couldn't you fight death for some days more

Till I could make it to your door

All I begged you for was to hold on 

But without a word, you were gone

I would have thrown everything away

Your or mine- both our lives I weigh

You died but I'm the one who bled

Forbidden to mourn, I had to look ahead

My future was in jeopardy, couldn't you see

'Father's Dad' - Is that all you are to me?

Do I not get to ask you to stick around 

Until the wildfire I'm stuck in, dies down

Whose betrayal hurts more 

This heart can't say, still sore

A grandpa who departs too soon 

Or a dad who doesn't tell me till noon

Now that exam's over, I regain my sense 

Realising it all came at your expense 

Now that I can, with what right do I mourn

I wasn't your favourite, neither the firstborn

Not the one who showed up first for your final rites

Or the grandkid who beside you woke nights

Nevertheless, I dab my eye to find it bone dry

My soul wants to scream but it's too late to cry

While everyone moves on, I'm stuck on your death 

The mind can't find peace & I can't catch my breath 

I drop to the groud from the loss that surrounds 

Must the pain of your loss ache beyond bounds?

Father's Dad

I wonder if you'd be glad

If you could hear of the accomplishment mine

How I'll be the first doctor in your bloodline

Exam results came in today & I qualified

Yet on this joyous day, you're not by my side

You were a quack back in your day, it seems

Would you be proud that I fulfilled your dreams?

Father's Dad

On a random Tuesday, I'm sad

Your memory revives as tides in the ocean

And I'm suddenly overcome with emotion 

The evening turns too quiet to endure

My soul still longing for a cure

Heart weighing down in dismay

A pen that now struggles to sway

The mind goes back to the days I miss

When as a child, your presence was bliss

The evening lessons that you taught 

My beloved candies that you sought

I know you're in a better place 

Seeing grandma's stress free face

Now that she's finally free

It wasn't all for bad, I agree

Garlanding your picture, I finally bow to fate

Realising I can't evade a checkmate