Harmony is a dream

My body and soul
Both heart & my brain
Are at war all the time
And I'm the battleground
Caught in the crossfire
Of my own blood raining
Screaming to no avail

I'm writing away at heart's pleasure
But then my fingers begin to tremble
The pain that inspired the pen to sway
Also left my spirit & hand exhausted
I cry out the flood surging within me
And that leaves me feeling better but
The poems I wrote are ruined now

A part of me wants to fly away
But I'm chained to the volcano
About to burst, it's only a matter
Of time that I become a phoneix
But my mind is too scattered now
Same shall be the fate of my ashes
I fear- & I'll cease to exist altogether

Balance is hard to find but I try
Singing against the air and rain
I've never been happier, but
Cold catches up to me & soon
I'm burning up, all for wanting
To live for once. Big ambitions,
But my limitations chain me

People bound by blood gulp down
Venom, just so it passes down to me
And the friends I chase happen to be
Faster to run away from me. The ones
That choose to stay bore me, I'm sorry-
We're just not at the same frequency
At the end, I barely even love myself

I believe in no god, but I'm praying
To the Sun, the moon and the stars
Both extremes offer me their refuge
The early mornings & the midnights
I can't decide, I don't belong to one
For the life of me, but perhaps, just
Maybe, it's not that bad of a thing

Infinite is what I carry within me
What's special doesn't fit with the
Mediocre, no mould defines me.
My struggles are maddening but
They make me, break me, save me
A rose I am, one with the thorns
A falling angel- an epic story