Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,127 Literary Works • 674,144 Reviews
Hia Alex, catching up on more of my book marks :3
So not yet fully grown or more spiritual, my lines are not yet finished settling?I know, I know I am in the middle of replying to your reviews but since my list of things to do has grown so exponentially, I have gone back to rolling dice and it landed on this poem so :3
I already like the summary of this one. I hope it’s not too sad because this sounds like an excellent opportunity to find happiness too!
In the first stanza, I like the contrast between the lines of smthing non-living vs the very real lines in the skin. Also the idea of using your old blanket to walk down memory lane while the scars are also a real reminder of what has been…
Also it kinda makes me think that something bad, scar-inducing happened in conjunction with the lines in the blanket ☹
Ah so, the loved ones want to paint the past as something worth cherishing while you are only seeing the (maybe real?) negative aspects? ☹
Hey now, the sun is not alone, she has like an entire solar system at her beck and call =D
There’s the Alex sadness aww ☹
But I really really like the ending stanza :3 It does give a hopeful feeling despite the underlying melancholy. Yes, you are more than all that :3
PS: I keep reading the title as "exploring the universe and me" feels as if the "the" is missing...
Hey Tikaa, always a pleasure to read one of your reviews! I'm working on the final WoS chapter too, it should be done any day now. There's just so much moldy work to be done with RevMo and otherwise, that my pace has been really slow. I also haven't forgotten the reply to your NaPo reactions. Hopefully by September end, I'll have no YWS backlog haha. But due to all this, I get your busy schedule quite better. With something as delicate as a newborn, you're bound to slow down. Like always, take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon! =}
About the missing 'the' in the title- noted. But for technical reasons, I might have to keep it this way :/ (the cover art wouldn't match then, and it'd bug me too much. Plus this work is old enough that digging the picture without the added text will be too much of a headache. So as much as I want to, I don't think there's anything I can do.)
Well this was more of my hopeful / neutral ones, hope you thought likewise lol.
It did, but only metaphorically! The scars here represent memories, not much different from the blanket. Blanket represents childhood and the scars- the experiences throughout that made us stronger. It also refers to the silly bruises we all got while playing as a kid, so it's purpose here is more nostalgia than pain. It may have hurt then but as the narrator misses that time, the memory is only sweet.
Pretty much! In palm readings, creases represent lifelines. So the palm creases are still running as the narrator is alive.
Not too far off! Here I was referring to the future. Since their lifeline is incomplete, they ponder who should complete the rest of the line- their loved ones or the narrator himself. Kinda like the ending of the story. Like readers, the loved ones want a happy end to the story of the protagonist. But the narrator + the protagonist are too used to self sabotage and want a story befitting their pessimistic and depressed perspective.
Very true, that's the big picture! But the narrator says otherwise because of his limited mortal existence, who cannot see beyond the naked eye. Imagine a world without science and astronomy, or a narrator who chooses to ignore them for philosophical or poetic sake.
You know me too well =)
Thank you for everything again, your words mean a lot to me <3
This is a thoughtful, pensive poem. It's about identity conflicts, and expploring oneself. Growing up. Maturing. I wrote this review with the SMILE method.
structure:
The poem is divided into stanzas, each presenting a different aspect of the speaker's introspection. The use of rhyme and rhythm helps convey emotions and thoughts effectively, but the rhymes are not perfect always ('urging/searching') which conveys how you actually don't yet have all the answers.
imagery:
The poem uses vivid imagery, such as "folds of blankets" (love that sensory detail!) and "mosaic of colours," to evoke nostalgia and complexity. Metaphors like "palm creases are incomplete" suggest an unfinished journey or identity.
language:
The tone is reflective and introspective, with a mix of longing and acceptance. The mood shifts from nostalgic to contemplative, capturing the speaker’s internal contradictions.
emotion:
Elements like the “moon” and “sun” symbolize peace and loneliness, respectively, highlighting the speaker's dual nature and search for a place in the world. That symbolism is highly effective and also brings out some of the contrsast, the contradiction between the child you and the adult.
(Accidentally hit send)
)
My interpretation of the third stanza is that the speaker is a wanderer and a wonderer, seeking inspiration to seek solitude like the heavenly bodies, I love the imagery in this part (also side note it reminds me of books written by a certain author named Benjamin Alire Sáenz)
Ah the contrast of the inner and outer world in the 4th stanza is speculating! Honestly I have nothing to critique, it's very relatable as a poet.
And a wide choice to end the poem with the claim that the speaker is as complex as the universe itself, although I wish you told us more about that.
Amazing work
Hi AlexWrites! I see you've written about the bittersweetness of growing up, something that we all relate to atleast at one point of our lives.
The first stanza feels youthful, almost sorrowfully electric, discussing about the physical growth and the scars from the past. I love how you wrote that you "traced outlines of what you've been" in the folds of blankets you had as a kid. It reminds me of when we stumble across simple things from our childhood that seem ordinary to the foreign eye and the attachment we had with it (like a blanket!).
The second stanza is a bit difficult to decipher which is most probably a me problem because from what I can see it's mostly the kind of things you think when you're a little older than I. But I want to know what you mean when you say you spill black ink while loved ones paint a rost street. I also like how you talk about exploring routes others forbade because we're all creatives in this world but sometimes we choose to not have a choice and try things like writing or painting because it isn't exactly...favourable.