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137,429 Literary Works • 672,015 Reviews
Never imagined I'd say thus but the mentioned bestfriend decided to reply to my poem for my birthday gift ahhhh
Stardust Crusaders
Spoiler
If we are wrought from the selfsame stardust,
then you have ever been my firmament
the quiet constancy
to which I unfailingly return
whenever the world forgets to be kind.
You speak as though I bestow upon you light,
yet you fail to perceive
how often I have lingered
in the radiance of your own.
Even the most steadfast stars
are rendered luminous
by those who dare behold them.
You christen me your villain;
perhaps only because I have become
a willing thief
pilfering the burdens from your shoulders,
outlaughing your uncertainties,
and departing with griefs
you never realised you had relinquished.
If we complete one another's thoughts,
it is only because
I have learnt the eloquence
of every silence that lies between them.
Should the aurelias beckon
from treacherous waters,
I shall not merely warn you
I shall chart the course beside you.
And should the tempest
endeavour to unmake us,
I shall remind you
that storms are ephemeral,
whereas kindred souls endure.
When time has rendered us
into little more than anecdotes
recounted by gentler voices,
I hope they remember this:
that amidst an immeasurable cosmos,
two fragments of the same celestial dust
found one another
with such improbable certainty
that destiny itself
could scarcely have devised
a finer reunion.
So keep your impossible heart,
your insufferable brilliance,
and every ounce of your unabashed pride.
For if I am your villain,
then I shall wear the title gladly.
And for as long as the heavens
continue to scatter their stardust across eternity,
know this beyond all doubt:
you shall forever have a friend in me.
It's been a while since I wrote something for YWS, basically anything other than my poems for the endless poetry contests. I do have a few prompts under my sleeve but as they might take some time coming to life, thought I'd share these in the meantime.
Odd fun fact- It's written for the same person I wrote this one about: Missing Aiden: A Mystery Musical
Also, this is me at my literary best. Relevant to the theme, using the most difficult poetry forms I know successfully and still sounding good. If anyone were to have any advice as to what's the next level to get even better, I'd be all ears!
Spoiler
Heya Alex!
I somehow missed that this was your poem, still in the Green Room. And idk… Something about the way you described it and maybe also even the cover at… makes me feel as if this is some background information for the Aiden Mystery =D
I read the thing inspired by Shakespeare first. (The novel brain goes for the continuous text first XD)
I like how stream-of-conscious this feels. As if you are really just venting but in the end come to the conclusion that despite everything, that’s still your friend!
I especially like this “gamble of pride, you up the stakes” that is an interesting thing to note!
Now to the left side. (and what a title!)
This one feels immediately more measured and conciliatory. Ohh and I love the repetition of the stardust phrase!
Now I wonder what the aurelias really is, some sort of evil fish? (or is it the lights and they are too bright? YOUR QUESTION MADE ME NERVOUS XD)
Ohh that is an interesting contrast to the right side, truly! I can’t help but think of Aiden too (maybe bc your NaPo thread is on my mind a lot lately)
(I am also intrigued by the thing about “can’t humble you” – as in, you don’t want to do it or it wouldn’t work huh..?) 😊
As a bonus, I will also read the response XD
Okay, it does feel as if this is coming from a different author. Idk if this is just bc I know or because I can tell the difference just that well =D
Aww omg that is such a sweet thing to read =D (And I guess your bff understood the aurelias reference… ) Very nice!
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Thank you for yet another sweet review, Tikaa! You always brighten up my day.
About the correlation of this poem with the Aiden plotline, I'll advise you not to worry too much. I think the idea was planted when I posted a poem wrote to this very same bestfriend as one from Aiden to Andrew (comparing them to us and well if the shoe fits). That poem was also one of the first things that really inspired the Napo idea afterall so of course, you could see the similarity. I've based those character on us, but they don't reflect each of our realities anymore, now that they're grown from the origin. Let's ask the real question though- could this be a peek and apply to the Aiden poetry series? Perhaps, but not in the current timeline. When they were in the same highschool, before the research opportunity came and became the turning point, it's quite possible that Aiden would've had a similiar perception of Andrew. In fact, I heavily imply so. But in their current state? They're grown too apart for Aiden or Andrew to feel so strongly and they're mature enough to rise above their petty disputes of school. Plus Aiden is setting his foot down now, even if in the most twisted way and Andrew has improved immensely as a person over time, learning from the past mistakes that cost him much.
One of my better ones for sure, thank you!
Quite close actually, it's the scientific name for jellyfish! Here, they're used for their poison carrying tendency. It's metaphor for people or situations in life out to get me, but my bestfriend makes sure to warn me to avoid their hit just in time.
I wonder how much resemblance you'll find in the web series 'Elite' then, that basically sets the premise for the entire series. Consider it heavily inspired project, I guess. It's not your fault though, like at all. Aiden isn't really a character, it's a reimagination of me. All the people represent people close in my life, even if their struggles and peculiarities have been modified for poetic appeal. The idea that Aiden feels wronged by everyone and mysteriously disappears one day is an expansion of the invasive thought I've had for a while now, something I'm sure hundreds if not millions would relate to- would anyone miss me if I'm dead/gone? In it's awkward ways, life has been the best and worst lately. I'm closer to my loved ones than ever, yet all I can focus on is their many betrayals. This poetry series was an escape, me finding a solution of my own problems by putting Aiden through them, hoping he finds a way out for both our sales. But as the plot progressed, it took a space and need of it's own. The characters divergified, contradicting what I saw to be the ending multiple times to make one that fits them, and not the people I based them on. The real events have little resemblance to my actual life, but how each character feels can be easily overlapped to the reality of the people they were based of. They may have started out as my shadows but now they have a voice of their one. But the soul of Aiden and me shall forever be one, though I won't confine him to the same life as me. The story was me bleeding out on paper, so it's reasonable for the blood to be mine. The reader is bound to see the poet as a stranger but as you see Aiden in me, remember to see me in Aiden too and I believe then you'll realise that we're inseperable.
Both! Foremost, I didn't want to considering it's his special day. But then again, it's not like I really could even if I wanted to. He's always got a counter on his disposal, a comeback that hits me like a boomerang- curse his debating skills.
Our styles are vastly different with the vocabulary, rhythm and form- so I do not find the ease in differentiating them surprising. Still, good catch!
He clearly told me he didn't XD
He just used it in a similar meaning to my poem, an omen for danger thinking it's a flower or some. It's crazy, but he really is the kind to pull such a thing off.
I hope the vent wasn't too troublesome, thanks for reviewing again! <3
Not my reply being longer than the review lollll. It's just lore inspo vent though, so feel free to skip
I'd never skip
Thanks for the thoughtful response and the clarifications. It's just what I needed!
These are two wonderful poems, however my eyes have been attracted to the former "-a villianelle for the villian of my life". I love the structure of this first poem. The "...you'll have a friend in me" and "...we must be" refrains that alternate at the end of each stanza and then both are repeated in the final stanza as a close-off; both of these refrains rhyming over and over with the general pattern of the stanza's themselves, so that the pattern becomes ABA ABA ABA ABA ABA ABAA which I think is very elegant and quite an elaborate rhyme scheme which is executed fantastically here. I especially love that B is isolated in each stanza, rhyming with a line in the same position in the preceding stanza as opposed to a line its own stanza. In terms of meter it seems to be unmetered and following no consistent pattern of syllables, which is fine as you have strung the lines along well regardless of that. The rhymes themselves are clean and don't feel forced, as they perhaps could have given how ambitious the structure is.
I think the juxtaposition of this elegantly structured verse being written entirely in the lowercase with comic sans is hilarious. So modern !
Your friendship sounds great and playful ! May you and your friends be blessed !
Keep it up !
Thank you very much for the kind review! Well the choice of the poetic form decided the exact rhyme scheme for me but I will admit- it's not as easy as it looks. About the meter, I accept the feedback. Balancing both meter and rhymes, along with staying relevant is something I've not yet been able to achieve. You've correctly pointed out so, and I'd work on thar in the future. About the rhymes not feeling forced and the unmetered lines still going together- thank you for the compliment, that's certainly an improvement from my last times. Again, thanks for reading! I do hope it was worth your time.